To Slay
by Elphaba Fiyerobert
Summary: Set between the episodes When She Was Bad and School Hard in series two.    The Master is back, and he wants Buffy Summer for his own personal slave. The Watchers Council feels that Buffy has fallen from the path and dispatches a squad to deal with her.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue One

A girl stood on a hillside overlooking Mam Tor, in the Peak District, England. It was twilight, her hair flying around in the misty rain and the wind. She cupped her hands and called up her magic.

"Thoth I call to you, creator of magic. Show me your wisdom. Guide my movements..."

She stood in Weatherly Park in Sunnydale, California. Summoning her own magic, speaking the words memorized for so long.

"Guide my movements oh Thoth, take me to the other world..."

The two girl's words mixed:

"Bring the course of the light to view. Show us the path of the darkness. Guide our pathway through the dark, and back to the light. Give us the gift of your protection."

The magic faded, and the girl in England turned to the Watcher's Council. "It is time," she said, "The Master is arisen. The Slayer's path is clear".

The leader turned to her and said, "Anne, you must go to California and find the deserter before she ruins everything".

"Yes sir!" Anne responded, taking her plane ticket and leaving.

Four men stood by an armored truck. "Be prepared for dispatch. Buffy Summers must be eliminated at all costs".

"There's nothing we enjoy more than taking down rogue Slayers, sir."

They all left leaving Quentin and Mrs. Giles alone on the hillside.

"Do you really think this is right?" she asked.

"Mrs. Giles, I understand your emotional attachment to this affair. The Watcher is your grandson, but we can't afford to allow a Slayer to become a renegade. The Master will become inescapable with her aid".

"Buffy Summer hasn't even turned to the darkness yet, and you are already condemning her. Maybe the signs are wrong. She was strong enough to defeat him the first time, she maybe again".

"Like the signs were wrong when William the Bloody and his insane offspring attacked us!"

"Since that attack we have been wrong several times. Losing so many Slayers at once, we never even found Buffy before her calling. She is special; she will stop him. I know she will". Mrs. Giles pleaded, "Just give her time".

"Very well, I will allow her once lunar month, after that if she shows signs of being seduced she will be destroyed. Anne will take over".

"Anne! Your true savior, she doesn't even have any in the field experience! You lost your only hope of winning this war when you turned aside that Irish girl. She had the power. Compared to her, this Anne is nothing!"

"Calm yourself, the signs are true. Anne will win this battle".

"Anne will die trying!" she snapped.


	2. Chapter 2

PROLOGUE TWO

Buffy Anne Summers, current Slayer, was sitting on the table in the school library. Piles of books stacked everywhere around her, waiting for her Watcher, Mr. Giles to arrive.

She picked up the nearest book and flicked through it. It was Merrick's Watcher diary. Closed her eyes and saw him in her mind's eye. Sacrificing his own life to save her from Lothos. Saw his blood stained clothes and herself holding his dead body.

Buffy opened her eyes and wiped away the tears, she didn't want to worry Giles when he arrived. Her first Watcher had died well over a year ago, but she still missed him a great deal. He'd called her up and shown her how to survive; a strong bond had grown between them even in the short time they'd spent together.

"You killed me, Buffy!" a male voice said from behind her.

"What?" She half turned to see Merrick standing by the check in counter. A stake through his heart, which he was clutching with his right hand. Blood staining his hand and clothes.

"I died because you wouldn't face Lothos. My life was wasted trying to protect you," the Watcher snapped.

"You were my Watcher, it was your job to protect me. I had no idea what I was doing. Only been called a few weeks before. I was young, naive and stupid," Buffy insisted.

"My blood is on your hands. You should have fought Lothos that night in the junkyard."

"I didn't know how, I wasn't ready!" she whined.

"You learnt quickly enough afterwards."

A boy came out of Giles's office. (Tall, dark hair, leather jacket, jeans and a black tee shirt.) Covered in blood, his neck ripped open.

"Pike!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I loved you Buffy, but your love is the kiss of death. " Pike said.

"I remember the night you died. You went on your motorbike to buy some take out food. Vampires attacked you; I couldn't get there in time. I saved a young girl, you told me to take her to safety. By the time I came back there was blood everywhere. No sign of you or the vampires," she muttered.

"Don't forget me Buffy. I hardly knew you, but it was enough to get me killed!" another male voice called from the library doors.

She slid off the table and took a few steps forward until she could see the new arrival. "Jessie, I'm so sorry. I tried to get to you. I tried so hard, I didn't want to lose you!"

"Didn't stop this happening." Jessie grew fangs and face ridges; "My blood is on your hands. If I hadn't met you, I would have lived, graduated and got a little house with a white picket fence in the suburbs."

"I couldn't stop them, Luke was too strong, I wasn't ready."

"Are you ever?" Merrick commented.

"I do the best I can, but the monsters keep on coming. It never ends, no matter how many I kill. Dozens more come. I can't keep up the pace, I'm putting in 20, 22 hour days already." she complained.

"The whole point is it never stops. The forces of darkness always come. The Slayer always stops them, protecting the innocent." Merrick said. "At least until you were called!"

"The useless Slayer," Pike added.

"Slayer?" Jessie asked, "The only Slayer you are is of the innocent!"

"I have never killed an innocent and I never will!" Buffy snapped.

"What do you call all of us?" a female voice asked. (Tall and graceful and fairly pretty) Sitting at the table, a few feet from her side.

"Emily?"

"Yes, Emily," the girl answered, "I was a dancer in the school talent show. A very promising career ahead of me." She pulled her top open to reveal a large chest wound. "The demon ripped my still beating heart from my body. You didn't stop him..."

"Until after he'd killed me too!" a boy finished. He appeared next to Emily, staring up at the Slayer.

"Morgan, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I was already dying. Cancer eating through my mind, even before the demon took it from me. If you hadn't come to Sunnydale, the demon wouldn't have followed and I would have had longer. Maybe not much longer, but enough." He bent over slightly to show off gaping wound in his head.

"I can't save everyone, I can't be everywhere at once. I'm just one person!" she snapped, "And I'm leaving. I don't have to take this from a load of phantoms!"

Four teenagers blocked her path, new arrivals.

"Who are you?"

The boy at the front stared at her. "I'm hurt you don't remember us. My name is Kevin and these are my friends. We were all members of the audiovisual club. Vampires got in and killed us. Willow found our bodies on the day of your Prom!"

Merrick pulled Buffy around to face him, "Getting tired of learning the names and faces of those you've murdered?"

"The dark things killed them, not me!"

"Dark things you should have killed before they reached the innocents!"

"There are still more," Pike commented.

Jessie began to list them, each one appearing in the library as he spoke, " The dead guy from Aura's locker on the first day of school, the bouncer at the bronze, killed by the vessel on the night of the Harvest, a young blonde girl also killed by the vessel, Dave and Fritz from the computer club, Principal Flutie, Dr. Gregory!"

"I believed in you Buffy, and you betrayed me." Dr. Gregory said.

Five more people appeared, total strangers to Buffy. "I've never seen you before," Buffy insisted, trying to sound brave, "Got crossed wires somewhere?" They were getting to her now. Sapping her confidence and strength.

"Five shall die and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise!" the entire roomful of people shouted.

"21 people you have murdered," Jessie snapped, "How many more to come?"

"Would you like to see?" Merrick asked.

"No, please!" Buffy begged. The last of her confidence shattered.

"Oh, I think you should!" Pike commented. Buffy's mind was filled with screaming. People's faces appeared. Men, women, children, even babies. All screaming and being killed in horrible ways. Abruptly it ended. The people faded, the screams melting away.

"That can't be the future, I won't let it be!" she muttered.

"Not if we can stop the spread of your evil now," Pike said.

"Kill her!" Jessie ordered.

Everyone took up the words. Chanting them, weapons appeared in their hands. Knives, stakes, axes, swords, daggers, crossbows, guns. Any and every kind of weapon that existed on the planet at any time.

They advanced on the Slayer, threatening her. Buffy backed away as far as she could. Crawling backwards up the stairs and up towards the upper stacks.

"STOP!" a voice commanded. It was Giles, here at last. Buffy relaxed, he'd save her.

The crowd opened and through it walked a small group that contained her best friends. As Buffy came down the steps, she noticed something was very wrong. Blood was dripping from gashes across their necks.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

Xander looked up at her; "The vampires killed me when they fetched the others for the resurrection."

The others stepped forward, Giles, Cordelia, Ms. Calendar and Willow.

"You couldn't protect us!" Willow accused.

"You let the vampires take us!" Ms. Calendar snapped.

"Look at the stains you've let me with, these will never dry clean!" Cordelia complained.

"You are a disgrace to me, Buffy. A useless Slayer, no matter how much I trained you. We could train 24 hours a day and you still wouldn't be ready!" Giles snapped.

"You deserve to die!" Xander said.

"You will die!" Willow smiled.

The chanting started up again.

Willow stood at the foot of the stairs holding a scythe. "Goodbye Slayer," she said, and brought the scythe down towards Buffy's neck.

Buffy awoke screaming. Several seconds passed before she realized where she was: sitting on her bed, in her room. Weapons spread across the covers, where she'd been sorting them out. She was angry with herself. What if her mother had come in and seen it!

Realizing the scream might have disturbed her mother; Buffy crammed all the objects back into the bag and shoved it under her bed.

Long moments passed as she waited, hardly daring to breathe, for the sound of her mother moving around. Finally, she tip toed over to the door and opened it a crack. Faintly the sound of snoring came up from her mother's bedroom. Relieved, she shut the door quietly.

Buffy checked her watch; it was 11 p.m. hardly early evening if you're the Slayer. The dream had bothered her more than she liked to admit. Made her unsure about her skills, maybe she wasn't cut out to be the Slayer.

She dragged the slaying bag back out from under the bed and crossed to the window. Perhaps some slaying would restore her self confidence or a long talk with Angel. Either way, she had to get out of the house.

Buffy scooped up Angel's leather jacket and looked out. The moon was already up, although not giving off much light. She pulled a stake from her bag and used it to wedge the window open, so she could return the same way. Threw the bag and jacket out carefully and watched it slide down the roof. Seconds later, following it to the ground.

She landed badly, on one ankle. It gave under her and she went crashing to the ground. Prodded it gently. A strain, not a break, She could walk on it.

Dragging herself up, Buffy briskly headed towards the main vampire hot spots of the town.

The sweep of the town and park again proved to be fruitless. Even the Bronze was deserted. Buffy sighed; she'd really been looking forward to seeing Angel again. He hadn't been around for a while. Although with the way she'd treated him lately, she could understand.

Feeling more than a little depressed she set off for her final call, the cemetery. It was empty as well. No vampires, no disturbances and no fresh graves.

"If I don't get some activity soon, I'm going to go insane" she muttered. "I'm a Slayer, I need activity!"

Even more depressed Buffy Summers walked along beside the tall cemetery wall on her way home. She heard a strange sound echoing through the dark night.

"Who's there?" she whispered. She couldn't see anything.

Suddenly a strangely strong vampire grabbed Buffy from behind and bashed her head against the wall. She hadn't a chance to react, slumping down the wall totally dead to the world.

The vampire roughly picked up the limp body and carried her towards the Mausoleum.

The first thing Buffy saw as she opened her eyes was a vampire standing over her. She was scared, and he could feel that. He stepped back a few paces and let Buffy look around to get her bearings.

"The Mausoleum?" she asked.

"Why not? It's as good a place as any," the vampire commented.

"True," Buffy replied.

"Okay why am I here? What do you want from me?" she asked

"Do you remember me? You should, you killed me twice," the vampire said.

Buffy stood up carefully and looked for her bag. It was by the entrance, there was no way she could reach it in time.

"I've killed a lot of parasitic, low life scum. You'll have to do better than that if you expect me to remember you!" she told it, trying to sound braver than she felt.

There was a girl by the entrance, Buffy noticed. She had dark hair, but no 'party' face. She looked away so the vampire wouldn't know the girl was there. She hoped the girl wouldn't try anything stupid. That sort of thing could kill both of them.

The vampire moved closer to Buffy. "Look at me!" he ordered.

Buffy did as she was told. The body she didn't recognize, but those eyes. Remembering their other encounter, when she had died.

The Master smiled at her evilly. "Before you killed me, I placed part of my consciousness into a host. This vampire offered its self to me. It was a great privilege to be chosen. Now I have

come for you, Buffy. Not to kill you as you may think. Just to talk to you like the two rational beings we are," he explained.

Buffy was worried. "What kind of evil mind games was he trying to pull on her?" she thought. "Why hasn't he just killed me? Is he going to torture me before killing me and then dump my remains at the library for Giles to find in the morning?"

Many other gruesome and morbid thoughts passed through her mind, each one far worse than the last. Buffy dismissed all of them, knowing that the Master would surely know a much worse punishment for her crimes against him and his kind.

"Goodbye Giles, I hope your next Slayer is easier for you to handle. Goodbye Willow and Xander, sorry Mum!" she thought. She nervously waited for the Master to start torturing her.

To her great surprise he took a beautiful piece of clear crystal attached to a long gold chain from his pocket.

"Buffy! Look out! He is going to hypnotize you! Don't give into him or you will be lost forever!" the young girl shouted from the entranceway.

The Master spun round to face the girl. "Away," he ordered and waved a hand towards her.

The girl ducked out of the way of the lightning bolt he'd thrown at her and scooped up the bag. She threw it to Buffy. "Be careful Slayer," she warned and ran out the building as a second lightning bolt fizzed past her head.

Buffy fumbled in the bag looking for a stake. The Master stood in front of her and started to wave the crystal slowly across her face.

She had heard the girl's warning and knew what he was doing. Nevertheless the bag fell from her useless hands. She couldn't move. Buffy tried to fight, but unlike the last time she couldn't do anything. Slowly her eyes closed and she drifted into a deep hypnotic sleep.

_ Through the dark fog all around her, Buffy could hear a voice. It knew all her hopes and fears. It wanted to help her_

_ Wanted to help look after her friends. It knew of a way to make a Slayer so strong, so immensely powerful, she'd never have to be worried about the safety of loved ones again. The voice wanted to know if she was interested._

_ Buffy tried to answer, but discovered that she had no voice or even a mouth to speak with. Instead she had to yell out with her mind_

_. "Yes, of course, YES!" she yelled, "Please help me. I would do anything for that amount of strength. Even sell my soul if I had to. Please help me, please give me the power!" _

_ The voice promised Buffy she could have the gift, if that was what she truly wanted. There was a price though, a price she might not be willing to pay._

_ "I will pay any price, I will do anything you ask of me, just give me the power!" Buffy begged. Around her she could feel the darkness decide. "Very well," it answered, "The power transference will hurt a little."_

_ A blinding light cut through the darkness and surrounded Buffy. _

_ "Leave her alone, devil worshipper. This child is not yours yet!" A female voice called. She sounded like the young girl from before._

_ "Slayer, you can't do this. You will regret it later if you listen to this creature of the night, I promise you that!" the girl begged. _

_ "What is your final answer, Slayer?" the dark voice demanded._

_ Buffy was torn between listening to the girl, who just seemed to want to help and having the strength to protect her friends and the rest of the human race better._

_ The choice wasn't hers to make. She knew that no matter the cost to herself, her destiny came first. Protecting the entire human race, was the most important thing. If she died, another Slayer would come. No matter what happened to her, she had to do this. _

_ "I have no choice, I'm sorry," she whispered to the girl._

_ "If you do this, you could die!"_

_ "Everyone has to die sometime." the Slayer replied._

_ Turning to the dark power Buffy said "I will pay any price, give me what I need. Make me strong again."_

_ The dark voice laughed evilly._

_ Finally Buffy remembered what it belonged to. _

_ "The Master" she whispered, but it was too late._

_ "Granted Buffy. The power is yours, although little good it will do it you!" he laughed._

_ She screamed as unimaginable pain racked her body, passing out seconds later. Leaving the girl and the demon alone in this netherworld._

_ "You haven't won, vampire. She isn't yours yet, not until she drinks of a live human vessel. I still have time to save her," the girl said._

_ "Try if you must" the Master said, "But the Slayer has been turned to darkness. A pit of never ending despair. Nothing can save her. Not even her friends. She is mine, FOREVER!"_

_ The Master faded away._

_ "Don't worry Buffy, there has to be a way to redeem you and I'll find it" the girl whispered before also fading away._


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER ONE.

Buffy opened her eyes; she was in her own bed in her own room. The sun was streaming through her window, still wedged open from the night before She glanced at her alarm clock, trying to remember what she had been dreaming about.

"Nearly 6 am?" Buffy muttered, feeling confused, "How did I get home?" The last thing she remembered was finding the cemetery empty and then walking along the main wall on her way home, then nothing after that.

She decided that she must have been really tired and that's why she didn't remember how she got home. It didn't sound very likely. Not even to her, but she couldn't think of anything else. Demons don't carry you home and tuck you up in bed afterwards. Angel? She wondered.

Buffy decided to ask Giles when she got to the library. Seconds later the memory of that idea disappeared from her mind. Almost as if it had been erased.

She knew she couldn't get back to sleep now, so she checked through her vast wardrobes trying to find some nice clothes. She finally settled on a short purple pleated skirt and a plain white shirt with fluffy cuffs. Not really slaying clothes, but Buffy wasn't bothered. There hadn't been any undead activity for well over two weeks!

She checked her clock again, still loads of time before breakfast. Out of desperation Buffy checked her homework file. It was full and almost totally untouched. She sighed deeply and settled down at her desk to make a start on it all.

A long time later Buffy heard a slight sound behind her. Instinctively she reached into the top drawer of her desk, feeling for a stake.

"Morning honey," Joyce Summers said cheerfully.

Buffy jumped, pulling her hand out of the drawer. "Hi Mum. You scared me. I thought it was someone else," she said.

"Who else could it have been, honey? There's only the two of us." Joyce asked, stroking her daughter's hair.

Buffy shrugged not knowing what to say. How could she explain to her mother that she thought a vampire had been creeping up on her? That would win her a one way ticket to the Sunnydale rest home.

"Almost finished your homework?" Joyce asked.

She looked down at her paper. It was the last page of a multi choice English test. There were three questions she hadn't answered. She ticked three boxes at random and shut her homework file. "All finished," Buffy answered.

"Pack your school bag and come down stairs," Joyce told her, "Breakfast will be ready by then. Be as quick as you can. We're running late, I overslept. So much for me being the responsible one," Joyce finished as she walked downstairs.

Buffy ripped her backpack out of a lower drawer and checked the contents. Her stakes and workbooks were all there. She wondered if she should even bother with weapons, nothing was going to happen, but decided to take them and avoid a long and dull lecture from Giles about responsibilities and being prepared. Shoving her pencil case and homework file inside the bag she ran downstairs.

"What is that mark on your neck, Buffy?" Joyce asked as she entered the kitchen. Buffy didn't remember seeing any marks as she'd dressed earlier, but she checked in the small mirror from her make up bag. Sure enough there was a faint pink mark on the side of her neck. Small and round: looked a little like a strawberry birth mark, apart from the fact she'd never had one before.

Buffy wondered about it for a moment, before the mark slipped from her memory. Stiffly, with almost robotic movement she picked an oatmeal colour scarf from the table and tied it neatly round her neck, hiding it neatly.

"What was it?" Joyce asked as she passed her daughter a plate of toast.

"Just a bite" Buffy answered. She quickly ate her breakfast and followed her Mum out to the car.

Buffy worried all the way to the school about the mark on her neck. She'd remembered it again when she'd re-knotted her scarf. But by the time they arrived at the school, she'd forgotten again.

Grabbing her bag she ran towards the school praying she wouldn't be late for her first lesson. Running past the library through empty halls she thought about checking in with her Watcher.

Second bell rang through the school.

Realizing there was no time and hoping Giles would forgive her, Buffy ran towards her classroom. Willow and Xander were waiting by the door for her, gesturing franticly for her to hurry.

She made it to the classroom a split second before her teacher did. Therefore she wasn't technically late. It didn't stop her teacher from glaring at her, and asking her all the difficult questions.

All of the teachers that morning were surprised to see that Buffy had finished her homework on time and mostly correct. She was told by several of the teachers that if she kept up this level of work she could get A's on all her exams. Buffy was very pleased. She decided to get up early every morning to do her homework.

Her morning classes went okay, but she was starting to feel very tired by lunchtime. She walked to the garden area and got out her lunch bag "Maybe I won't get up that early every morning," Buffy said to herself.

Tiredly she sat eating. Half-heartedly she thought about checking in with Giles, but she just couldn't find the energy. She closed her eyes and started to doze.

A while later she was disturbed by some one calling her name. Buffy decided it wasn't important and closed her eyes again.

"Buffy, I have been looking everywhere for you!" a very annoyed voice said from behind her.

Buffy opened her eyes and stretched feeling a little better for her snooze. "Hi Giles," she said putting the remains of her lunch bag into the rubbish bin.

Giles sat down on the bench next to her. "Why did you miss check in this morning?" he demanded. "I was worried. I thought something had happened to you during patrol!" he said, not sure whether to be annoyed or relieved that his Slayer was unharmed.

"I'm sorry, Giles," Buffy said and meant it. "I was late in. Mum overslept and I was doing my homework. Had no idea of the time. Only just got to class in time. I was about to go and see you," Buffy lied.

"Considering that lunch break is almost over you would not have had time to check in with your overdue library book. I expect it back straight after school, or there will be a heavy fine," Giles told her firmly.

She stared at him, confused by his strange comment. Then she noticed that Cordelia's groupies were walking by. And they were giving Buffy and her Watcher funny looks.

She waited for them to disappear from slight before saying, "There was nothing to hunt last night. Just like every night this week. Its Thursday, there should have been at least one vampire by now!" she snapped.

Giles was concerned at her hostile attitude. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Its all this non-activity. Its driving me nuts. I've asked around, even beaten up Willy a couple of times. Nothing big seems to be brewing, not even any coded clues from Angel" Buffy answered, "Maybe all your mystical convergence stuff was decided to converge at a more fashionable town?"

"I will have to check my books" Giles muttered." In the meantime meet me after school for training. It might make you a little less... restless" he suggested.

"This is just an excuse to make me train more!" Buffy complained.

"Of course." Giles answered as he walked off, "Do not be late!".

Buffy couldn't help but start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Xander asked as he and Willow wandered over.

"Just Giles. He's off to check his books again," Buffy said slipping back into helpless giggles.

"Oh, hysterical laughter!" Xander said with a smile.

"What undead party is it tonight?" Willow asked.

"No, its nothing like that," Buffy said finally getting her attack of the giggles under control.

"Then what's so funny?" Xander insisted.

"Giles is checking his books because there is nothing weird happening. He is looking for some way of the mystical convergence stuff to leave Sunnydale or something," Buffy said and giggled again.

This time her friends laughed too. They were still laughing as they walked to class a few minutes later.

Buffy joined Giles after school to train like she'd promised.

Giles watched her fight feeling surprised and bewildered. It was as if she'd lost the edge she'd always had which set her above the other Slayer's he'd known in his time.

Giles decided not to mention anything about it to Buffy, but he was extremely worried about her well being. It wasn't like her to fight badly or not to her full potential.

As he watched his slayer over the next days, he saw her get paler, more tired and weaker. Her control, and abilities in practice diminish. It was almost as if Buffy was becoming a normal teenager, losing all of her slayer powers.

Giles had no idea of what to do with her. She was far too young to be going through cumentum (the slayers coming of age test), and he would have been controlling the testing if it was time. Injecting her with the organic compounds to suppress her slayer half. He stopped her training for a while thinking that he had pushed her too far. With all the extra work Buffy was doing to catch up with her peers and get ready for exams.

As well as what she'd had to go through with the Master just a few short weeks before, she had over stretched herself and needed to rest up for a while.

He decided that in a few days Buffy would be back to her normal, annoying self. Full of energy and even fuller of ways to tease her Watcher.

But she wasn't.

A whole week more went by and then another. Buffy wasn't getting any better. If anything she was getting even worse. She appeared to have no strength, no coordination, even her non-slayer activities were suffering. Her grades were slipping dangerously again.

Buffy had stopped going to the Bronze. She had even stopped seeing her friends, Willow and Xander, out of school hours. Giles had even phoned Angel, but he hadn't seen her in weeks.

She'd stopped her morning check in with Giles. She hardly ever checked in with him at all now. Giles was getting very concerned about Buffy now. It had been over three weeks since he'd noticed a change in her.

It had been nearer four since the Hellmouth had acted up or vampires had been seen. Good thing really with the state Buffy was in. He couldn't help wondering if the two were connected.

He also wondered if his Slayer had become involved in drugs. After all she kept disappearing for short amounts of time while in school. When asked later about where she had been or what she'd been doing, Buffy couldn't or possibly wouldn't answer.

Also why had she stopped wearing the cross Angel had given her? She suddenly seemed to prefer wearing a neck scarf with cross earrings. It couldn't be that she and Angel had had a fight as she still wore his jacket.

It was all just too confusing. So much conflicting evidence. Giles couldn't even get near to his Slayer for long enough to ask her what was wrong. Every time he went near her, she remembered some pressing appointment in a place far away from him and from the school.

The problem had to be self-inflicted in some way, because she didn't seem to notice or care about the changes happening to her. Even 'normal' teenage girls didn't act the way she did.

Giles had spent hours phoning the Council and other past Watchers. None had heard of an illness, spell, charm or test that fitted Buffy's problem.

The Council was threatening to send out a special team designed to locate and capture rogue slayers, to take her for further testing. So far Giles had managed to persuade them otherwise, but

he didn't know how much longer he could bluff them into leaving him free reign over the condition.

He didn't dare think what kind of trouble Buffy could have got herself into. He just hoped that whatever it was, he could get her out of it again, before the Special Forces team arrived in Sunnydale.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER TWO

Her Mum had just dropped off Buffy at school; she was running late again. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Yet again she had to run to class to get there on time, missing her pre-first period chat with Giles.

The school morning went badly for Buffy; she couldn't seem to do one thing right.

She sat alone in the school gardens thinking for the first few minutes of her lunch hour.

"BUFFY!" someone shouted across the garden.

She looked round to see who was shouting. Willow waved at her and came over with Xander.

"Are you coming to lunch, Buffy?" Willow asked.

"I've had a sandwich already. Giles wants me to start training again this lunch hour. He says I've been having too much time off. He thinks I've been avoiding him," she answered.

"Haven't you?" Willow asked, "I mean you haven't really been around girl with us either."

"I don't know what you mean," she snapped. Buffy glanced at her watch. "I'd better go or I'll be late. You know how bad tempered he can get" she said, grabbing her bag and almost running off.

"The Buffster is acting weirdly again. I wonder what's up with her, I thought she'd dealt with all her 'issues'!" Xander muttered as he watched the slayer leave.

Willow felt something squash as she sat on the bench. She picked whatever it was up and looked at it.

"Even stranger" Willow said waving the Clingfilm wrapped sandwich at him, "Is that she lied about having lunch. She just left it behind. Incase you haven't noticed, Buffy hasn't been eating much of anything lately. "

"Giles after school?" Xander asked.

"I think so" Willow answered.

Buffy was already heading towards the library. She thought about her friends. They had seemed confused at how she was acting towards them. Buffy knew that she'd been acting strangely lately.

She wanted to tell her friends not to worry that she was okay. But she couldn't. She didn't know if she was okay. Or why she'd been doing such strange things. Her Slayerness seemed to be melting away; there was no activity. The last few years of her life seemed more and more like a far distant dream. She was starting to wonder if the vampires, slayer and watcher thing had been a figment of her imagination.

Still if it was a dream, why was a librarian giving her self-defense classes between periods in the school library? Even in Buffy logic, that was something seriously strange. Given time, her brain would find a rational explanation to the problem, but until then she had to pretend to know what was going on. Secretly she was wondering if Willow Rosenberg, Alexander Harris and Rupert Giles were all escaped from the local nut house. They talked about demons and monsters and the end of the world so much.

Maybe she had even been insane for a while and she was recovering, that's why the memories seemed so hazy, so far away. Should she report the others to the local hospital? Was it even safe to be around them? She'd heard that crazy people were dangerous. She had to mentally shake herself away from her worrying as she reached the library double doors.

Buffy could see Giles pacing and waiting impatiently for her to arrive. She checked her watch. Five minutes past her set time. Buffy sighed and walked in ready to face his lecture about being late.

"You are late!" Giles complained as she entered.

"Tough, I was having lunch!" she snapped.

Giles stared at her. She had been snappy and bad tempered a lot lately, he had noticed. He decided to ignore her temper for the moment and get on with the lesson. She was probably just restless, as there had been no action for her lately.

He hoped the restlessness was all that was wrong with Buffy, and nothing more dangerous or sinister. The Special Forces team had started giving him time limits now, if he didn't have things cleared up within another week. Then they would relieve him of his duty to the girl.

Giles handed Buffy one of the fighting staffs he'd got out ready for the lesson. Buffy wasn't sure if she or Giles was more surprised, when he beat her easily with the staffs and anything else they tried.

"It seems that I have allowed your training to lapse for too long, Buffy. We will have to train every lunch hour and after school every day. Possibly even weekends too!" Giles threatened.

She just nodded, too tired to speak. Grabbed her bag and limped off towards class. She felt like she'd been run over by a steamroller. Finally she knew what Giles went through to train her. Giles followed her out the door.

"How do you expect to face down a vampire in your condition?" he demanded.

Buffy finally gave up the humouring act. "Firstly vampires do not exist. They are part of the underworld used to frighten little children. I'm too old to be frightened by stories Mr. Giles. Secondly you and your gang of crazy people can leave me alone. You can't pull me into your fantasies any more. I am sane and you are not. End of conversation."

"You are the Slayer!" he exploded.

"There is no Slayer, no Watcher, no demons, no vampires, no nothing!" and with that she left.

"What is wrong with you?" Giles muttered to himself.

The first period after lunch was Science. The teacher glared at Buffy as she walked in late.

"Sorry, I got held up at the library," Buffy muttered and sat down at her normal desk, just behind Xander and next to Willow. It was the only one empty.

"What are we doing?" she asked Willow quietly.

"Examining these slides. You need to put your light on to do the work, its gloomy in here," Willow told her friend, as she leaned over and switched on the lamp.

As the strong light touched Buffy's arm there was a horrible stench of burning flesh. She screamed and ran from the classroom, only just remembering to grab her bag as she went.

When Buffy got outside she took some deep breaths to get over her shock. She was glad to see that yet again it was cloudy. It matched her mood. Having to spend time with crazy people, and strange burning lights. It was too much.

She decided to go on a long walk to clear her head and quietly escaped school campus grounds.

As soon as school was over, Willow and Xander went to the library to find Giles.

He was a little surprised to see them. "Any sign of Buffy?" he asked, "She was supposed to meet me here for training. Some how she has got dangerously out of shape. I am getting worried about her. Earlier she was saying that she wasn't the Slayer and vampires didn't exist."

"Then you haven't heard yet" Xander said.

Willow glared at Xander and kicked him. "You weren't supposed to mention that!" she hissed.

"Heard what?" Giles demanded sharply.

Willow, with a final kick at Xander, filled Giles in on everything. From the lie Buffy told at lunch to the trouble in Science class.

"Are you sure Buffy has not been seen since?" Giles asked.

"We asked around. Cordelia saw her go up and over the wall about 10 minutes after she left our classroom. No sign of her since," Willow replied sadly.

"There is something wrong with Buffy. I have known that for weeks now. I was hoping that it was nothing serious, but from what you have just told me it is unlikely to be anything else. She told me that Slayers, Watchers and demons didn't exist".

"What is wrong with her?" Willow asked.

"I have no idea, but time is running out. Try and find Buffy and stay with her. Let me know if she tells you anything," Giles ordered.

"What are you going to do?" Xander asked

"Researching. I must see if something like this has happened to any other Slayer," Giles said, "I might be able to form a plan of action."

"What are you looking for Giles?" Willow asked, "Do you need me to call up anything on the Internet?"

He smiled at her sadly. "Willow" he said, "I have no idea what I am looking for. I just hope I will know what I need, when I find it. Buffy has got herself into some serious trouble. Whatever it is she will need all of us. Find her for me, keep her safe if you can. She might open up to you and tell you things that she would not tell her Watcher."

"Okay Giles," Willow muttered, "If we find Buffy, we'll take her to the Bronze. If we can get her to relax, she should tell us something. I'll call you if anything comes up," she promised.

"Good luck," Xander called as they left.

Giles didn't hear them. He was already lost in his research of past Watcher diaries.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Three

Buffy didn't really feel up to the long walk she'd planned so she hitched a ride home from Willow's Mum, who was returning from a shopping trip.

Joyce Summers fussed over her daughter all afternoon, but finally gave up when she insisted that she felt much better.

Like at lunchtime Buffy didn't eat any dinner, but luckily her Mum was on the phone and didn't notice. When Joyce can back into the kitchen she looked very worried.

"What's the matter?" Buffy asked as she loaded up the dishwasher.

"Your Aunt Lisa is very ill. I have to go and look after her for a while. The problem is your father is going too and I'd have to leave you here, alone. Will you be all right on your own? It might be for a couple of weeks," Joyce asked.

"I'll be fine Mum, don't worry. Just leave me some money to buy food with," Buffy insisted. That would make her out of school hours trips much easier.

"I'll call that nice man who works at your school library. He's always nice to me and you seem to get on with him. (I suppose you have to, the amount of time you spend at the library). He'll keep an eye on you for me. What is his name, Buffy?" Joyce asked.

"Mr. Giles," Buffy said as she answered the phone. It was Willow; she was inviting her to the Bronze.

"Willow wants me to go to the Bronze with her. Can I go?" Buffy asked passing her Mum the phone.

"I thought you were ill?" Joyce said.

"I was, but I feel much better now. I think it was the school food. It was mystery meat again," she said desperately.

"Okay, as long as you don't stay out passed your curfew," Joyce warned.

She smiled and ran upstairs.

"And if you feel ill again you get a ride straight home. Do you understand?" Joyce shouted after her.

"I promise!" Buffy called back and then busied herself finding the perfect outfit.

When Buffy finally came back down ages later, wearing Angel's jacket over a pale blue top and black jeans, she found her Mum packed and now ready to go.

"Now Buffy, a few ground rules," Joyce started as she stepped down off the stairs.

"No staying out past your curfew. No wild parties or sleepovers while I'm gone. No 'forgetting' to do your homework. No sleeping over at other peoples houses unless it's a study sleep over at Willow's. No skipping school, please try to stay out of trouble, Buffy. I don't want to get home to find you expelled again," her mother warned.

"MUM! I promised to be a good, sweet girl. Okay?" she exclaimed.

"Okay," her Mum answered and started to lug her bags out to the car, the Slayer followed carrying the rest of the bags.

Joyce stopped after she'd put the bags in the boot and looked at her daughter. "Are you sure you will be all right?" she asked again.

Buffy glared at her.

"Okay, Okay! I'm going!" Joyce exclaimed and got in the car.

She waved to her Mum as she drove off.

Willow came up to Buffy. "Hey, thought we'd walk with you tonight," she said cheerfully.

"Hey, Will. Lets go then," she answered.

As they walked down the drive she spotted Xander waiting for them. She said hi distractedly and they headed off towards the Bronze.

Buffy didn't really feel like company, but she knew if she didn't go her friends would be very suspicious. She didn't want to disturb them, incase they were as crazy as Giles. They must have been wondering about the incident Science class. Buffy was glad that they hadn't asked her about it, because she had no idea why she had acted that way.

After all it was only a light! There was only one thing that was scared of a strong light ...

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"What's the matter, Buffy?" Willow asked looking round.

"Any vampires around?" Xander asked.

Buffy looked at them. "I erm ...No, there are no vampires around ...I think. I was just. ...thinking" she muttered.

Her friends exchanged puzzled glances as they walked towards the Bronze in total silence.

(Unknown to them. Giles was following. He had decided it was for the best. He could help if they were attacked. In the state the Slayer was in she couldn't fight a mouse let alone a vampire or group of vampires, and he was concerned incase the Council had already dispatched a team without warning him.)

Buffy was lost in thought again. Not noticing her friends worried looks.

I couldn't be, could I? she wondered. It was a very scary thought, but it tied in with all the strange things she'd been doing lately. But vampires weren't real, were they? Was Giles telling her the truth after all?

As they turned the corner and caught sight of the Bronze, four vampires sprung from nowhere and blocked their way. There were two male and two female vampires

"Greetings sister, Buffy," the tall male vampire said. He was clearly the leader.

Giles ran up to his friends, he was about to attack the vampires, but stopped short when he heard what the vampire had said.

"What is going on, Buffy?" he demanded.

She ignored her Watcher and stepped slowly towards the vampires, she didn't stop until they were just inches away from each other. She remembered finally what had been happening all this time.

"Greetings my brethren."

"Buffy, answer me. What is going on?" Giles demanded.

"Its so very simple, Giles. So simple I'm surprised you haven't guessed."

She turned to face her friends and said calmly. "The Slayer has turned vampire!"

Her friends watched in helpless horror as the fangs and face ridges of the vampire kind appeared on Buffy's face.

Willow gasped in shock at the sight of her friend as a vampire and grabbed Xander's arm for support, because she thought she was going to faint.

The tall, male vampire ordered the Slayer to feed on the three mortals'.

She kneeled at his feet, her head bowed and said "I can't my Master, I am not strong enough. The Watcher would kill me quickly."

A female vampire in a trendy blue dress helped Buffy to her feet and gave her a large bottle of blood. She looked like a member of Cordelia's gang.

"Drink my child, slayer of humans. It will make you strong enough to kill this pathetic mortal scum," the vampire commanded.

Buffy looked at the humans that were to be her first blood meal. The girl was trembling with fear and clinging to the young boy.

The young boy was scared, but trying not to show it, as he comforted the girl.

The third was an older man. He didn't seem to be scared. Angry and confused, but not scared.

Buffy didn't know why he wasn't afraid. He was a mortal. When mortals face death, they are terrified. They plead for their very lives. Buffy would make that one plead before she killed him, she decided, and she would enjoy ever second of the time she spent torturing him. Pulling out his fingernails, chopping off body parts, sucking him to almost the point of death. Oh yes, she would enjoy that.

As she looked again at the three mortals, she felt strange, disorientated. There was something about them. Something she could faintly remember, but wasn't sure what it was.

The girl vampire pushed the bottle towards Buffy once more. "Drink, please," she said, "You are fresh born. You must drink soon or die."

She drank, much to the horror of her friends. The blood felt warm and tangy in her throat. The aroma was very heady. Can you get drunk on blood? she wondered. It seemed to be very potent. She finished the last drops of blood and smashed the bottle on the ground.

"How do you feel now, my daughter?" the tall vampire asked.

She felt strangely strong. More aware of what was around her. She could see and hear things she'd never heard before. Seconds later it faded away from her.

"What happened. I want it back!" she muttered.

"That was how we see the world. Drink their blood and it will return. Return and never leave you again," the tall vampire promised her.

"Yes, Master," she answered. All of a sudden she felt very hungry and not just for hamburgers.

"The Master? I thought he was gone forever. The Buffster ground his bones into talc weeks ago!" Xander exclaimed.

Buffy turned to face him sharply and shouted "Our Master was dead, but now he has returned to us. Returned to lead us back to the darkness. Back to being the true rulers of this world. The Old Ones will rise up again. To rule our Hell once more. Mortals will be kept penned up like the live stock, they truly are!"

"Buffy, what's wrong with you? Listen to yourself. You sound just like one of them!" Willow said.

"I am one of them, child and proud to be so. Vampires are so much better, so much stronger than mortals are are. They can sense things differently. I felt what they do for a moment and you are not going to stop me from feeling that way forever." she told the whimpering animal.

"Buffy, don't you remember us? We're your friends!" Willow asked.

"Yeah, you remember, nutty Xander. I asked you to the Prom, you refused. Then we saved the world from the Hellmouth opening. Killed the Master and had a party all night. You went away all summer, came back all 'issued'. We sorted you and stopped the Master's big come back. You dusted him?" Xander asked.

"What?"

Giles saw it was working. "Remember all our training days in the library Buffy? One on one. Watcher against Slayer? Remember the day I taught you how to use a crossbow?" he asked.

"I ... You wanted me to start with the quarterstaffs. I wanted to start with the crossbow. You told me learning the quarterstaffs was first. It would take countless hours of hard work. I picked up the staff and flattened you. Then we went on to the crossbow."

"See Buffy. You are one of us. Not one of them," Giles insisted.

"One of you?" she whispered.

"We do everything together," Willow said.

"We're the Scooby Gang," Xander added.

Buffy took a couple of steps towards them.

"Buffy stop!" The Master shouted.

She stopped instantly.

"You are one of us now. They are just food."

Buffy looked up at Giles, making eye contact. "I was one of you. Now I'm one of them and you're dinner."

"Come now my hellish daughter. Feed from them. Become strong. They have no meaning for you any more."

"May I turn them?"

"No, like Angelus, they would not be trustworthy. They would stake you in your sleep. Remember how they treated you in life?" he talked in a smooth, hypnotic voice.

"Yes," Buffy said sleepily, but there was doubt in the back of her mind.

Angel appeared from no where. He was surprised to say the least to see Buffy wearing a 'party' face. "Siobhan was right, why didn't I believe her?" he muttered to himself.

Angel took her by the shoulders and stared straight into her eyes. "Slayer, you can't do this to your friends. I know there is some of the old Buffy left to hear me," he told her.

She realized he was right. She couldn't hurt her friends. She'd forgotten how much they all meant to her, forgotten them entirely at one point. She decided that he had to find a way to save them, but how? The Master wouldn't be pleased if she just let them escape. He killed them all.

Angel saw the change in her and released Buffy's shoulders slightly. He'd got through to her, and with very little time to spare.

"You should be pleased with me, Angelus. Now we can be together forever. When my Master rules the world, you can stand with me as his faithful servant!" she told him.

She reached up on tiptoe and kissed him tenderly. Between kisses she whispered to him. "Oh Angel. Do you really believe I could kill my friends? The lusting for blood was almost too strong, but I can't hurt them. I can't hurt my kin either. I don't know what to do. If I don't kill them, my Master will still have them killed!"

Angel kissed his love more passionately and then as he pulled away he shoved some capsules into her hand. She didn't know what to do with them. Angel carefully hid his hand from the Master's view and broke one of the capsules into his hand.

Buffy watched him. She realized he was offering her a way out of her problem. All she had to decide was did she really want a way out or was she just a cold hearted murderer ready to butcher her friends? Was she still, at least partly, a Slayer?

She looked at her terrified friends and angry Watcher and quickly made up her mind.

Buffy lunged towards Willow:

Before anyone could stop her, she had grabbed Willow's throat and curled her lips around it. Willow was afraid. Terrified. Buffy could feel her fear and it made her even hungrier. She only just stopped herself from sucking Willow's blood in time.

She broke one of the capsules and poured the contents over Willow's neck. She watched the blood run down her friend's neck in morbid fascination. No matter how she tried to look away, she couldn't move. Her bloodlust was too strong. She finally understood Angel's near draining her, when they first kissed (before she'd known what he really was).

Willow looked up at her old friend. The girl was confused. Why was she bleeding when Buffy hadn't bitten her? Carefully she was shown the broken capsule, after smearing the rest of the blood over her fangs and mouth. Willow smiled, realizing her friend's plan. When Buffy pulled away slowly, she obediently fell down 'dead'.

Giles and Xander were horrified at what had just happened. Angel tried to look very upset too, even though he knew Willow wasn't really dead. At least he hoped she wasn't hurt. It was Buffy's choice to make. He'd given her all the help he could. He could smell fresh blood, but that could have come from the capsules. It had to be real blood or the other vampires would know instantly.

"Buffy, how could you. Willow was your friend!" Giles exclaimed.

She looked at her Watcher in disgust. "You couldn't possibly understand Watcher, don't even try!"

Xander was standing almost directly next to her. He'd moved closer to try and help Willow, before he'd realized it was too late. Now he was rooted to the spot with fear. Buffy turned towards him, ready to feed once more.

Giles grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away from Xander. "You can't do this, Buffy. Above and beyond everything you are the Slayer. The one girl in the entire world with the strength and skill to fight the vampires. You are not a vampire, you are the Slayer. For once in your life listen to me, Buffy! Stop this madness now. We can help you," Giles begged.

She looked at Giles and gently removed his hand from her arm.

For a moment she seemed to consider what he'd said.

Then she bared her fangs at him and hissed "You forget Giles. I am better than that, better than YOU are! I am a vampire now and proud to be so!"

Buffy grabbed his tweed jacket front, lifted him off the ground and hurled him away from her. He hit a nearby wall and slumped down it stunned. "Stay there! You are next" she ordered.

Now quite satisfied that Giles wouldn't interrupt her plan again, grabbed Xander's throat. He whimpered in fear. As soon as she brought her fangs near his neck, he fainted. Buffy couldn't hold him and she hadn't had a chance to use the blood.

Luckily Angel had noticed this. He caught Xander as he fell and pressed a capsule to his neck. He sunk to the ground with the boy and checked his pulse and then Willow's. After a few seconds he looked up "They are both dead."

Buffy laughed, she was really enjoying herself, some action at last. That really scared Giles, who had only just managed to stagger back onto his feet.

"How could you do this? Become a vampire? Kill your friends on the whim of a monster? What happened to your nightmare?" he demanded.

She froze, that insult had hit home the way he'd meant it to. This was the first time her Watcher had said anything nasty to her. She didn't understand why he was acting the way he was. She was only trying to save her friends lives. What was wrong with that?

Then the penny dropped. Giles didn't know she was trying to save them. He didn't even suspect that she had a plan. She was just another vampire to him. Another plunge and move on case.

For the first time ever since she'd known him her annoyingly smart Watcher didn't trust her. That hurt her deeper than his words could have.

She turned to her Watcher and for a few moments Giles saw his Buffy come through. (The nice, kind, ever teasing Slayer, Buffy) as her face changed and her vampire self disappeared.

"I became a vampire because it's easier than being the Slayer. I can't go on living like that. I've had enough of trying to balance school, hunting and a social life at the same time. I'm sick of fighting and trying to keep my friends out of danger all the time. I've had enough of it all, do you have any idea what it's like to be me? I hoped as a vampire, one of my so-called friends would finish me off!"

Giles was shocked at her admission. He had no idea that she'd felt this way. Then realized that even if he had, there was little he could have done for her.

As he watched, Buffy's face turned back again: to fangs and ridges. Her bloodlusting was coming back fast. Stronger than it had been before. Buffy was starving for blood. Much longer and she wouldn't be able to refuse herself. She had to finish this fast! "A nightmare is a nightmare Watcher. Something stupid and childish which frightens you for a very short time," she snapped, "I am now YOUR nightmare for all of a few seconds before you join Willow and Xander in eternal rest!"

Giles was getting scared now. "Is there any way I can change your tiny, vampire infested mind?" he asked.

Buffy shook her head.

He slowly pulled a cross from his slaying bag. It was Buffy's own necklace, given to her by Angel on the night before the Harvest.

"My necklace."

"Yes, it is. I am surprised you remember. You left this in the library weeks ago after training."

Buffy moved towards her Watcher, but she couldn't get close enough to 'bite' him. The cross was stopping her. Giles was noticeably relieved. He relaxed slightly and loosened his grip on the cross.

It was just the leeway she needed. She kicked the cross neatly from his hands and in the same smooth movement grabbed his neck.

"I am sorry, Buffy. I failed you in my job as your Watcher," he muttered quietly as she bared her fangs at him.

"No you didn't, my friend. You are the best Watcher a Slayer could wish for. Kind, caring and patient, its just a pity I'm not still your good little Slayer." she whispered between her fangs.

Giles twisted carefully in her grasp to look at her. He was pleasantly surprised to see friendship in her eyes, not a vampire's evil lusting for blood.

She smiled at him and poured the fake blood down his neck. Giles was shocked, he had thought she had really killed the others, but he obediently sank to the ground as he was released.

"Well done, Buffy! You are one of us at last. You can now take your place as my right hand vampire, forever."

The other three vampires hugged their new sister in turn. Buffy hugged back, trying to keep up the pretence of being evil. But this time, it was surprisingly hard for her.

"How could you butcher your friends?" Angel asked sadly.

"The same way you butchered men, women and children for decades, Angelus. With a song in my heart."

"Come with us. We will drain the lives of many more mortals before sunrise," the vampires begged.

Buffy looked at the limp bodies of her friends and shook her head. "I, can't. They were my friends for a long time. I would like to stay with the bodies. Kind of say goodbye."

The Master laid a hand on her shoulder. "You know there was no other way, child. They would have killed you given the chance and not had any second thoughts."

"I know my Master, but I will miss them. If only they could have been trusted enough to become like us."

Slowly the vampires disappeared, until only Buffy and Angel were left alone with the bodies. As soon as the last vampire was out of earshot, Buffy turned to Angel. "We did it! We saved them with out anyone getting hurt!"

"Your acting was good, even I believed you were really evil!"

Buffy smiled and kissed him. She looked over at Giles and stopped smiling. "I thought the acting was tough, but the hardest parts are still to come" she whispered, more to herself than to Angel.

Buffy wandered over to Giles and nudged him gently in the side with her foot. "They are all gone. You can get up now" she told him.

Giles tentatively opened his eyes and looked up at his slayer. He was glad to see she had lost her 'party' face, but he still knew that she was just as dangerous whichever face she wore. "Can I trust you?" he asked tiredly.

"For the moment you can, Giles. But in the future I don't know. I am, what I am. I made a big mistake, but I can't change that now. It was a very close call tonight. I suggest that from now on you treat me like you would any other vampire: with extreme caution and a stake," she

answered and shyly offered her hand.

He thought about it for a second and then allowed her to help him up. He felt so battered and bruised, he was not sure if he could get up unaided. Giles rubbed his sore, bruised head and looked round.

Buffy noticed her silver cross glinting in the grass and pointed to it. "You'd better pick that up, you may need it" she ordered.

Giles didn't think he would, but did so anyway to, make her happy. By now, Willow was also on her feet and looking around her. Then she noticed that Xander was still lying on the ground. Willow glared at Buffy. She hated her. "You saved me and Giles, why not him! Why do you hate Xander?" she yelled.

She turned away from Willow to hide her tears. Angel gently hugged her and glared back at Willow. "How could you think that of her? There are good vampires, you know that. He fainted!"

Giles tried to stay out of the argument, he could understand poor Willow's distrust of Buffy. She had become the enemy. He knew it was going to be very hard on all of them while they learnt to trust her again, if they ever could.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me," she begged.

She just shrugged Angel's arms off her and said "Don't worry about it, after all I'm undead now. Why should you trust me?"

She shoved past them all to kneel by Xander's side. She pulled his eyelids up gently and checked his pulse. She stiffly got back to her feet and said "He'll be out for hours. Possibly all night. He hit his head on a stone. We need to get him somewhere safe."

"My place is safe. The vampire's won't come near it," Angel offered.

Buffy nodded and tried to get Xander up, so she could carry him. He was a dead weight and she was feeling very weak again. Giles came over and helped. Between the two of them, they managed to get Xander up onto his feet. "God Xander, if you expect us to carry you around, loose some weight!" she muttered.

Angel led them through little back streets, the quickest way to his flat by the Bronze.

Once inside they gratefully laid Xander on the sofa. He was much heavier than he looked. Angel came back with water and cloth shreds. She soaked the cloth and laid it carefully on Xander's head.

Then she settled down to watch over him until he woke up. matter how long it took. Giles and the others were talking in the next room. About her, she expected. It was too late now, she didn't have time to worry what her friends though of her.

It was nearly 2 am before Xander started to wake up. By then Willow had fallen asleep, not seeming to care she was sharing a flat with two bloodsuckers and Giles was pacing up and down the flat trying to keep himself awake.

Unluckily the first thing Xander saw when he opened his eyes was Buffy. He ripped a wooden cross from his pocket and shoved it in her face. She sprang away from him with an ear splitting scream.

Xander was on his feet instantly and before anyone could stop him, he'd grabbed a stake Giles had accidentally left nearby and threatened her with it. Crying, she jumped from Angel's window and ran off into the night.

"What are you doing?" Giles demanded.

"Buffy is a vampire. So we should stake her, right? We are lucky to be alive after she fed from us, aren't we?" Xander asked confused.

Willow, who had been woken up by the scream, glared at him. "Don't be stupid Xander. Buffy saved our lives! If she hadn't pretended to kill us, the other vampires would have sucked us dry. If you hadn't been a wimp and fainted, you would have known!" she exploded.

"But the blood?" Xander asked.

"Blood capsules I gave her," Angel explained.

"Oh," he said guiltily and looked out the window for any sign of her.

She was long gone.

"We will have to find Buffy before she gets into any more trouble," Giles commented.

"Take them home. I'll look for her, I know the haunts of young vampires better than you," Angel said.

He looked out the window and checked the skyline. "Just a few more hours until sunrise. I don't expect I'll find her tonight. You will have more chance searching for her just before sunset tomorrow night."

Giles nodded and shoved the still protesting Xander out of Angel's flat. Willow followed behind them. "Be careful," she warned, as she shut the door behind her.

A girl with long hair came out of another room. "So the Slayer has turned vampire. Just like I told you."

"I should have believed you. It was lucky you had those capsules for me to give to Buffy."

"Yes, it was. Wasn't it" she muttered., "You'll have to look for her, Angel. She'll be going to ground soon, to sleep."

"I know. I am a vampire too. Remember?"

"I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind at the moment" she answered, "Just be careful. If you get hurt it will be even harder on Buffy for her to return from this evil."

Angel didn't pretend to understand what the young girl was talking about. "Any clues on where I should look?"

The girl looked at him, "I don't know. This wasn't a part of the vision. Things are changing, happening too fast. The Slayer should have days more before the Master came for her. Everywhere I turn he is blocking me. I've put up spells to keep him away, but he seems to be immune. Angel, he holds the gift, it's impossible for him to do so. I need to contact the Council, they may make sense of this."

"Do you mean the Watcher's Council? What do they have to do with this?"

"Angel, please. It's more than my life is worth. They would kill me and possibly the Slayer too. They don't need Buffy, in fact they will destroy her if I can't finish this."

"Can you use spells to trace Buffy?"

"I haven't the strength left. I have too many active castings. It would take hours to set out a proper tracing spell. There isn't time. You have to find Buffy. I must know what is happening to her!"

"And Buffy complained I was bad with my cryptic hints" Angel muttered as he left.

Buffy wandered round Sunnydale for hours thinking. Once it started to get light, she ran to the only place she could think of as safe any more. Her only safe place: The Mausoleum. The sun was just starting to come up as she entered. For the first time that night Buffy felt very sleepy.

Then she remembered she was on vampire time now and realized that she'd be sleeping all day now, but still working all night. She found a comfy corner away from the door and slept.

Moment's later Angel came in the door. "That was easy!" he exclaimed, "I only came here to escape the sun."

He took off his jacket and laid it over Buffy to keep her warm.

"Sleep well my love. Tomorrow will be a difficult night for you. Giles will want to know how this happened, as do we all. The Master will be searching for you, and once he finds out you faked the deaths you will be in great danger!"

He laid himself down next to Buffy and soon fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER FOUR.

Strangely it was starting to get dark by 6 p.m. that night:

Giles was in his library, preparing for his search for Buffy. He had realized that there were only two places that a vampire version of her would think of as safe.

Angel's flat was the first that sprang to mind. But Giles knew that after what had happened the night before, she wouldn't have doubled back after he'd left. Anyway Angel was just as worried about her and would have contacted him if she had.

So the only other logical alternative was that Buffy had gone to the Mausoleum.

Giles hoped he was right, otherwise she could be anywhere in Sunnydale and if he did not get to where she was sleeping by sundown or just after Buffy would have left. Then he'd have little chance of finding her again.

Possibly she would leave to feed, possibly to do something stupid instead. Considering the frame of mind she had been in when last seen, due to Xander trying to stake her and with her skills Buffy could get depressed and stake herself before he could find a way to help her.

In fact she might already have. She had been upset enough.

Giles was worried now. He grabbed a couple of stakes and the old necklace, just incase something went wrong. She might be his Slayer, but she was also a vampire now.

As he turned from the desk, his phone rang. He snatched it. "Buffy?"

""Mr. Giles? Its Wesley Wyndom-Pryce, have you located the Slayer?"

"I was going to search for her when you rang!"

"I understand that she is now a vampire."

"Buffy is turning, yes. But there is still a chance that we can help her."

"Mr. Giles, I expect you to carry out code 469: Any Slayer compromised by vampires and must be destroyed. I have the full backing of the Council to demand that you obey."

"There is still time to stop what is happening to her."

"Mr. Giles, either you obey or I send a team out to do it for you."

"Wesley, talk to the Council. Persuade them to give me some time to stop this. If I can't, then I will follow the command."

There was silence on there other end of the phone, long minutes passed before he spoke.

"Very well, you have 72 hours. After that either you or we will destroy her."

"'Her' name is Buffy Summers!"

"Even if her name is Queen Elizabeth, after 72 hours she is dead."

"How can you do this. Buffy Summers is a dedicated member of this Council. She has averted countless disasters and killed hundreds of demons/monsters and vampires. Buffy is a good person, something has been done to her and I will not allow you to harm her!" Giles snapped. His only answer was the dial tone. He slammed the phone down and grabbed his bag.

As Giles walked through the empty, silent school he hoped that his slayer would not disappoint him.

In the car park, he heard someone following him. Light quick steps coming from behind him. Also heavier slower moving steps from in front, it sounded like several people.

Giles pulled out a stake and lunged at the first person, as they came around the corner of the building. The stake was stopped half way by a strong hand.

"If only you were that quick to stake your charge!" a gruff male voice said.

Four figures stepped out of the shadows. Four very well muscled men carrying some serious weaponry.

"The special forces team I assume. The Council gave me 72 hours before you arrived." Giles replied.

"We are just here to make sure that your slayer doesn't harm anyone. If she does, then she is ours. Council orders."

"And you plan to make sure she does!" Giles snapped.

"All part of the job," the man smiled evilly.

"You are supposed to be on my side."

"And you are supposed to keep your chosen one from harm, not have her turned."

"Do you plan to keep to the Council's time frame?"

"Mr. Giles, if we see your Buffy. She is dead."

"I won't allow you to."

The man went to hit the Watcher.

The leaves rustled behind Giles, and a teenage girl walked out. Long blonde hair, hanging in tangled strands down her back. A large back pack over her shoulder. "You will not harm the Watcher or the Slayer!" she demanded.

"Are you going to stop us, little girl?" he asked.

"Don't call me a little girl," she warned.

"Boys, put her out of action."

"You can't do this, she is nothing to do with the Council." Giles insisted.

"Wouldn't bet on that," she muttered as the first of the thugs came towards her. He swung a punch at her head. She grabbed his arm and used his momentum to throw him onto his back. The second she dispatched with a couple of roundhouse kicks. The third came up behind her as he reached out a beefy arm to grab her she grabbed his arm. Twisting it up his back. He struggled.

"Do you yield?" she demanded.

"Get her," the leader shouted.

The first two sprung at her. She shoved the one she was holding into them and pulled a bag of herbs from her pocket, throwing the content on the ground. A barrier sprung up between them. She reached through, and dragged Giles through.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Someone on your side." she replied.

The heavies punched at the barrier, trying to get through. Holes started to appear in the magical fabric.

"You should know who I am, and know better than to inhibit my movements in this town!" the girl said, addressing the special forces.

"Whoever you are you are dead when we get through this magic!"

She drew up her power and threw the cloth back at them, trapping the four in the sticky magical mess and ran, dragging the Watcher with her. "Do you have a car?" she asked.

"Yes, this way". He led her through the car park, and they drove off. The special forces left far behind.

"I can't believe that the Council dispatched those thugs already!" she muttered.

"How do you know about the Council?" Giles asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. My name is Anne, and if I was briefed correctly, you are Rupert Giles. Watcher to the current Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers".

He nodded, "And how are you connected to the Council?"

"I am the daughter of one of the Watcher's, but more importantly I am a witch under their payroll. I'm here to help Buffy."

"Do you know what is happening here?"

"Probably more than you do, this whole event is ordained. Foreseen by the Council generations ago. We were handpicked for this task, all of us. Given no choice, but to obey".

"Do you know what will happen?"

"No, only one person does, and she is missing. A Watcher stole her; she is now a wild card, likely to damage unfolding events. I know a little of the future, but not enough. She can see all though."

Anne glanced around, "Find Buffy, before it gets too late."

"To late for what?"

Anne looked at him, "For saving her. If you don't, I have to stop her. The Council have given me no other choice."

"You work for the Council?"

"In a manner of speaking. They will have me destroyed if I tell you any more."

"Your powers are strong," Giles commented.

"I am a seer and a witch. The other is far stronger, but I know not if she still lives. The Master is searching for her, so are the special forces."

"I thought the forces where after Buffy?" Giles queried.

"It doesn't matter to them if they catch one rogue slayer or two." she muttered.

"Rogue slayer?" Giles thought, "How can there be another slayer? Buffy is the chosen one!

"Don't ask me that, I can't tell you" she whispered, reading his mind.

"I don't understand."

"You won't, not yet. If the other girl still lives, she will tell you, she doesn't fall under Council control any more. At least not that I know of." She reached inside her backpack, pulling out an ankh. She handed it to Giles, "Give this to Buffy, if she can wear it, it may protect her from the Master's control. It is powerfully protected with all the spells I can combine, but only let her wear it if she is close to death. When the book of dead is all that can return her."

"How will I know when to use its power?" he asked.

"You'll know, the ankh will tell you, I must go, before I am discovered."

Giles pulled up at the side of the road, and the girl climbed out. "Beware his powers, Watcher. The Master has grown more powerful then you can imagine. "With that she disappeared, vanishing into the shadows.

"Egyptian Gods can help you, they have power over him. Over the Master's Master." she whispered.

Giles put his car into gear, and carried on, towards the cemetery.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 5

Angel woke up just before sundown and checked on Buffy. She was still fast asleep.

As soon as the sunset he dived outside to collect the bag he'd left under a bush. Inside were some bottles of blood. He figured she'd need some. Escaping the bloodlust the previous night had been difficult; she'd be very weak afterwards.

Angel sat down on the edge of the large stone coffin and waited for his love to wake up.

A few minutes later Buffy did so. She was surprised to see Angel there, but it was only just after sunset, so he couldn't have been there long she thought.

"Good Night Buffy," he said cheerfully.

"Don't you mean morning?" she asked groggily sitting up.

"No, I mean night. You are running on our time now, remember? Feeling hungry?" he asked as he offered Buffy a bottle of blood.

She looked round and noticed that Angel had brought five or six bottles with him. "I remember," she answered in a whisper and took the bottle from him.

Angel watched and she stood up and stretched. When she was finished he asked "What do you intend to do now?"

"I have no idea Angel. My friends don't trust me. Why the hell should they after what I did! I became their greatest enemy! How could I have done this? How could I allow myself to be turned? Turn into this, the thing I have had nightmares about ever since I learned who I am. I can't even remember why I did this!" Buffy shouted.

Angel felt sorry for her, he wished that there was a way to change what had happened. He could never wish the afterlife of vampires on his worst enemy, let alone the girl he loved!

Buffy pulled the cork stopper out of the bottle and stared at it. "Its sure different to a burger and fries," she muttered.

"Want some?" she asked offering the bottle back to Angel, who shrugged and took it.

She uncorked another and held it up to her lips ready to drink. But she couldn't. Buffy lowered and re-corked the bottle.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"I can't drink this, its blood not food. Its totally yucky!" Buffy exclaimed, she put the bottle on the floor and ignored it.

Angel sighed. "It IS your food now, Buffy. You are a vampire. I thought the yellow eyes; no reflection and nose ridges might have given you a slight clue. The fangs and blood craving an even bigger one!" Angel told her, "All you have to decide is good or bad. I don't see your problem, you drank before!"

"Only to make sure I had the strength not to rip out the throats of my closest friends! Do you have any idea how hard that was? I could never have forgiven myself if I'd hurt them!" Buffy shouted.

She picked up the bottle and played with it, trying to pluck up the courage to drink.

"Buffy?" a male voice called from the entranceway.

She sprang to her feet. Her body coiled and ready for action like the Slayer she used to be. Glanced at the shadowy entrance, the figure standing there looked vaguely familiar. Buffy looked a little closer and easily recognized him, even though it was so dark.

"Remembered your cross and stake Giles? Don't forget the cross is to burn my face when I attack you. The stake goes cleanly through my heart and dustifies me," she taunted.

There was no reply.

"Or give me the stake and I'll do it," Buffy said holding out her hand.

Giles stepped out into the Mausoleum. He was holding the necklace cross, but loosely by his side. Showing that he was willing to trust. He figured that at the moment Buffy needed someone to trust, more than he needed a reason to trust her.

He walked forward slowly and carefully until he was face to face with Buffy. (Or as close as they can, Giles being nearly a foot taller than she is!)

Giles was relieved that she was not wearing her 'party' face, it made it so much easier for him to think of her as Buffy still, not a bloodsucker.

She sat down, with her back firmly turned away from him. She was very angry and didn't want her Watcher anywhere near her. Anger was too dangerous for her now. She didn't want to be with in a million miles of her Watcher, not being what she was.

"Come to see the Slayer freak show Giles?" Buffy asked, "Why don't you just leave me alone. Its not as if I have the desperate need for a Watcher any more, do I!" she finished bitterly.

Giles had seen her 'paler than pale, even for a vampire' tone. That and what he'd overheard of Buffy's conversation with Angel, he knew that she wasn't feeding and not planning to. He also knew that this would make her weaker and weaker until one of two things happened:

She bloodlusted.

Or she died.

He couldn't let her die and if she bloodlusted, no one in Sunnydale would be safe. Bloodlust turns vampires mad.

Giles picked up the bottle (Buffy had dropped it when she'd jumped up to see who was there). He knew what he had to do and he was prepared to do it. No matter what the consequences to himself.

He waved the bottle in front of her face. "Not feeding?" he asked.

Buffy glared at him, but didn't answer.

Giles uncorked the bottle and poured a large amount over her lips.

Her 'party' face instantly appeared, but she would not drink.

"Come on Buffy, drink. If you do not feed you will die as surely as if I staked you now!" he exclaimed, getting very angry.

He pulled at his shirt collar until his neck was exposed. "If you prefer live food, take me!" he exclaimed.

Buffy stood slowly, her eyes following every contour of his neck. She was very hungry, and it showed. Her 'party' face was on full strength, her lips drawn back to reveal tiny, razor sharp fangs. It made Giles feel very nervous.

Buffy took a step forward.

And then another.

Then she stopped and covered her eyes with her own hands. "Angel, help me" she said in a pathetic sounding whisper. No matter how she tried, she just couldn't get Giles' neck, Giles' blood out of her mind.

Angel quickly grabbed Buffy by her shoulders. He dug his fingers into her flesh tightly to stop her from advancing any further. "It is not safe for you to do such things, Watcher," he warned.

"Giles, you are my friend. But I can't promise that you are safe from me. Get away from this place, please" she whispered.

"For Gods sake, Buffy. DRINK!" Giles shouted, "I am still responsible for your safety and health. I will not allow you to do this to yourself!"

He thrust the bottle at her once more. "You are Buffy the vampire now, not the Slayer. Act like it!" he ordered.

"No!" Buffy screamed, ripping the bottle from his hands and in the same movement, hurled it against the wall. She watched the bottle smash into a million pieces and the contents drip down the wall, slowly.

Angel released her shoulders, knowing her mentor was safe. At least for now.

She moved quickly, shoved passed Giles and ran to the passageway at the back of the Mausoleum. She ran through the passage, down the stairwell and into the tunnels before they could stop her:

Giles reached the top of the stairwell as she hit the tunnels. "Buffy stop. Come back, we can help you!" he shouted down.

She ignored him, escaping down into the Master's realm of evil. Leaving Angel, Giles and all her problems (if only temporarily) behind her.

He went to follow, but Angel stopped him. "The Master and all his kind are down there. It would be very dangerous for you and for Buffy, if I allowed you down there. She is confused enough already. Give her some time," Angel told him gently.

Giles stared down the stairwell looking for any signs of his Slayer, but didn't follow. "I have to do something. I can't just leave her!" he said.

"I know, don't you think that if I could, I'd be down there by now! The Master would have me killed on slight, possibly even make Buffy be the one to kill me. She needs both of us to help her through this!"

"How on earth does she need me? I am her failed Watcher. There is nothing I can do for her now."

"You care for her don't you?" Angel asked.

"As if she was my daughter," Giles answered, "I'd do anything to help her."

"That's enough for her to need you. She's told me that she cares for you. I think the exact words were best friend a Slayer could have, even if he is a bit of a fuddy duddy.

"We are each a link to the two worlds Buffy is a part of. I am the link that will help her except her vampire future, if need be. You are a link to her past life. You are also the one who will find her a way back, if there is such a thing.

"I don't believe Buffy is a vampire yet. She has a lot of vampire blood in her, but if she doesn't take the first big feed, the one that finalizes her turning, one of two things will happen," Angel

said.

"What two things?" Giles demanded. His mind had finally been distracted from following Buffy

"Well, one: she will die. And we will be unable to stop that happening," Angel told him.

"Then we must make her feed some how" Giles said.

"No" he answered, "The other thing that might happen is she may revert to being human again".

"How can she? She's dead" Giles asked.

"Not yet. She won't die. I mean have mortal death until her big feed. You are the Watcher, you should know this!"

"There are no books on the subject of how vampires are made, or their lives, only the stories of their deeds and how to kill them. After this (when Buffy is safe), I may well have to write one. It's unusual to find vampires who fight against evil. No one has written their accounts yet."

"Do you think Interview with the Vampire is pure fiction? Dreamt up one night by Anne Rice? I knew some of those vampires personally!" Angel exclaimed.

Giles was stunned.

"Try reading it Watcher, you'll learn plenty about good vampires. Unlucky almost as much about evil ones though. Anyway, that isn't important now, Buffy is. Search your books. There must some ritual, some spell, that may tip the tables to our favour and help her return before mortal death."

"I'll try," the Watcher promised. "How can we leave her down there, alone?" he asked.

"Because we have to. Buffy will come out when she's ready. We'd never find her in that maze of tunnels. I just hope she isn't forced into taking the big feed before we can get to her," Angel sighed.

They walked out side together and went their separate ways: Giles to his library, Angel to his flat.

A girl appeared from behind the Mausoleum. Her hair was long and slashing around her face in the wind. Her clothes were ones that Cordelia would be jealous of.

The girl collected her bag and started to follow Giles, she had to learn what was going on. The Watcher would be the best source of the information she needed. A little spell and he'd tell her everything she needed! Wasn't really Council allowed, but she didn't have time for anything else. Her report hadn't briefed her for half of these happenings.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Six

Angel stormed through the door of his flat. "Siobhan. Are you here? I need to talk to you!" he shouted as he shut the door.

"Hi Angel, find Buffy?" Siobhan asked, walking in from another room. She was combing the tangles out of her hair.

"Yes, I found Buffy. So did her Watcher. Buffy ran off to the Master's sunken church."

"Buffy is in the Master's realm already? Things are happening to fast; I can't keep up with them. Soon she will be..." Siobhan trailed off looking panicked.

She grabbed Angel's coat sleeve. "Angel, please listen carefully. You must go after Buffy. You must find her. This is very important. She needs you," Siobhan pleaded.

Angel pulled away from her. "How do you know what's going on? Even her Watcher doesn't. Who are you? What are you?" he demanded.

"It is too soon for anyone, even you, to know who I really am. You know that. I explained it all to you when we first met. All I can tell you is that my name is Siobhan and I know Buffy's destiny because mine is linked with hers. Please, you must make do with just this."

"I have no choice, do I? Only you can tell me how to help Buffy. Only you know what is happening."

"No," she whispered, "There is another. My replacement is here. She is on a kill contract."

"You were saying something about following Buffy? That is suicide. The Master would have me killed!"

"I'm sorry, but it's the only way. You must be careful, keep out of sight. You will find Buffy with the Master. You should learn something important there, if it is not already too late. You must follow her, but don't try to stop her. Not unless there is any other way, okay?"

"Am I meant to understand what you are talking about?"

"Not yet. You'll realize what I mean. Just be careful, you must not get caught, you must not die. Buffy needs you still."

Angel nodded and left silently for the electrical tunnels under the city.

Meanwhile Giles had reached his library where he had discovered Willow and Xander waiting for him.

"Did you find Buffy?" Xander demanded as soon as the doors opened in front of Giles.

"Is she okay?" Willow asked just seconds later.

"Yes, I found Buffy. No, I do not think she is okay. Or likely to be so any time soon," Giles answered them, sitting down at the table and removing his glasses to rub his eyes tiredly.

"What happened?" Willow asked as she set a cup of sweet tea down on the table in front of him.

"When I found Buffy, she was at the Mausoleum. Angel had beaten me there. They were talking about feeding; Buffy refused to drink blood from a bottle. She is getting sick from lack of feeding already.

"We argued, Buffy ran off into the electrical tunnels to the Master. Angel would not let me go after her. He said it would be too dangerous. Buffy might be made to kill me."

"What do we do now then?" Xander asked.

"Did you know that Interview with the Vampire is a true book?" Giles asked suddenly.

"What?" Willow asked.

"Angel said it was a true story. He knew the vampires." Giles said.

She exchanged worried glances with Xander. "I think you should go home and get some sleep Giles," she said gently.

"I know what you are thinking Willow, but I feel fine. I have to research tonight. Angel told me some interesting facts about freshly made vampires," Giles told her.

"Anything we can use?"

"Maybe," Giles answered. He dropped into automatic explanation mode. "Buffy has not undergone the blood feast which a fresh vampire takes to become a full vampire. She is starving herself. At the moment she is not yet a vampire."

"But the fangs. She's dead!" Xander complained.

"She has vampire DNA in her body, but until the great blood feast, she does not undertake (what Angel calls) mortal death. If Buffy starves herself she will either revert to being human or die," Giles answered.

"Then Buffy still has a chance. Yes!" Willow shouted.

Giles smiled at her keenness. "Only a very slim chance at the moment. The longer she stays with the Master the slimmer her chance becomes. He may make her feed. She could still die or worse still become a vampire."

"This is all my fault" Xander muttered, kicking a chair and then stormed out of the library.

Willow watched him go. "Great, now we have to deal with Xander too!" she complained.

"He blames himself?" Giles commented.

"You think?" Willow said, heavy on the sarcasm.

"We need to do something," she said more calmly.

"What do you suggest we do about him, Willow? In a way it was his fault. If he had not threatened Buffy with the stake, she would not have run away and we could have dealt with this all by now!" he told her.

She glared at him.

"I am sorry. I am tired and irritable. There is little chance of sleep tonight either as I have a lot of researching to do. See if you can cheer Xander up. The last thing we need now is two people running off

and doing something stupid!" Giles muttered

"It's hard for him. He loves Buffy. It's difficult for him to see her as a vampire. He can't bear to think of her dying, but then I can't either. She's my best friend," Willow trailed off because she started to get bleary eyed.

Giles put a comforting hand on her arm. "The last few days have been hard for all of us, Willow. I could not bear it if Buffy died. She is a remarkable young lady and a good friend. See if you can help Xander. We need to stick together if Buffy is to stand a chance."

"What are you going to research?" she asked.

"Angel says to look for any spells or rituals that could improve Buffy's chances for reverting. The more spells, the better her chances. I have no idea what volumes this type of spell could be in. It is lucky I have so many occult books on witch craft."

"What would you like me to research?" Willow asked.

"I would prefer that you did not. Occult books are dangerous things. I would not like you near them. Some people have ...erm ...changed, after reading these things. It is better for you to find Xander. I will not have time for both."

"But I want to help Buffy!"

Giles thought for a moment and picked up a small pile of books. "These books are not occult, but cover witchcraft. I am not sure of the truth behind them, but you can try."

Willow took the pile and smiled at him. "Okay, thanks Giles. I'll call you if I find anything really important. If not, I'll pop in before school tomorrow to share knowledge. I'll check the Bronze on my way home for Xander," she promised and put the books into her bag. She smiled at him again and ran off home.

"Good night, Willow."

She popped her head back through the door and said "Night Giles."

He heard Willow running down the corridor. Putting a pot of coffee on, he settled down with his darker volumes for a happy evening's work.

Anne walked in.

"May I help you?" Giles asked without looking up, "Its a little late

for students to be in school."

"A girl just left," she said.

"That was Willow, she was helping me with something."

"I was hoping you could help me with some information about the Hellmouth and what's happened to the Slayer."

He looked up, "Anne, is something wrong?"

"I don't know yet."

Lightning crackled around the building. A large storm was starting. The air around Anne began to spark with power, as she bled off the energy. Giles put down the book he'd been reading, "Something is happening."

"The dark power is rising," she muttered, her eyes turning black as she called up spirits to protect herself, "He is almost ready now, he will kill the slayers."

"Slayers?" Giles questioned.

"The power of the triad alone will stand against the darkness. Mighty Isis protect us."

"Who are you?" Giles demanded grabbing a stake, as the girl continued to turn strange.

"I'm human, not vampiric," she commented, "Are you going to tell me what I need, Watcher?"

"You aren't part of the Council. I phoned them. They have dispatched no witches. How do I know that you aren't working for the Master?"

"The Master, so he's back, they didn't tell me that."

"Who are you? What do you know of the Council!" Giles demanded.

"I am the daughter of a Watcher. I should be a Watcher myself, but due to a group of morons who decided girls make bad Watcher's, I'm not! At the moment I am just a pawn in their games."

"Why should I trust you?"

"You probably shouldn't, but too late for that." She took a jar of pink glittering powder from her pocket and blew it over Giles's face.

He slumped into a chair and closed his eyes.

"Now Watcher, you will tell me everything I need to know and afterwards you will forget that you ever met me. You will awaken from the dream state and get on with whatever you were doing," she ordered, "Now begin.!".

"Buffy has become a vampire. The Master has turned her. Although there maybe a way to save her," Giles answered.

"Wait, how is the Master back?" she asked.

"Cross-body mind transference ..."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter seven

Buffy spent a long time wandering through the tunnels deep under Sunnydale. Eventually she found herself in a gloomy antechamber in the sunken church, where the Master was waiting for her.

"Greetings, my lord and master," she said, kneeling at his feet.

"Greetings, my servant. You may rise," the Master responded.

She stood, with her head bowed she waited for her Master's latest instructions.

The Master sat Buffy down on a cold stone slab nearby. "Your friends and your Watcher, they are still alive, Buffy. Aren't they?" he asked.

"No, my Master. I killed them last night. It was your bidding. I would not fail you."

"You lie! The Watcher was seen tonight. Seen searching for you. You care for him. That's why you would not kill!"

"My Watcher is dead! Killed by my own hand!"

The Master shook his head. "Stubborn Slayer" he muttered. He took his beautiful crystal on its golden chain from his pocket and waved it in front of her eyes.

"You must feed to survive, Buffy. Mortals exist simply to be fed on. You WILL feed child, make no mistakes about that! Your first kill will be Mr. Giles. Don't you think that its fitting that your first kill is to be your ex-Watcher?" he said in a low, but clearly hypnotic voice.

"Yes," Buffy droned in a dull lifeless voice.

"Don't you want to keep your Watcher safe from harm? What about your friends, don't you want to keep them safe?" he asked calmly.

"Willow, Xander, Giles, they are merely mortals. Mortals exist only to be fed on. I must feed to survive therefore they must die. Starting with the ex-Watcher. Then I will kill Willow and Xander. After them, all the other mortals, I will make the whole world bleed before I am finished," she vowed.

"Good Buffy! You soon will be one of us completely forever. Once the Watcher dies, there will be no way for you to return to goodness and the other sickly sweet sugar coated mortal rubbish!" he laughed.

"You will find your prey in the school library, consulting his books and trying to find his good little Slayer a cure. What he does not realize is his good, little Slayer will soon be gone forever!"

"Am I to turn this Watcher, my master?"

"No!" the Master shouted, "He is not trustworthy. You will feed from him and that is all, I have told you this before. Can you not understand anything I tell you child?"

"He was good to me in my life. I want to turn him!" she complained, the hypnotism was starting to slip.

"Nice to you in life! He tortured you by never allowing you to go out with friends. Never allowed you to date. Ruined your education by making you slay vampires or patrol every night so you never had time for your homework. He made you miss classes that nearly cost you your place at Sunnydale High.

"Turned your life upside down. Lost you all your friends. Made you train daily, stealing the last remnants of your spare time. Forced you into being the Slayer. Even killed you! Face facts Buffy, your Watcher has ruined your entire life!"

Buffy kneeled in front of the vampire. "Forgive me Master. The Watcher confused my mind and made me forget all the nasty things he has done to me. He deserves to die. I shall kill him. I will not be denied my revenge! Please forgive my stupid mistake, Lord Master," she pleaded.

"I forgive you, my servant, but do not allow yourself to be confused by the Watcher again. A mistake like that could cost you your afterlife. Now go kill him Buffy. Do not return until your task is completed!"

"I obey, my Master!"

The Master put away his crystal and watched as his ever-obeying servant walked away on her deadly mission.

Unknown to them, Angel was watching and had seen everything. "So that is what Siobhan wanted me to learn. The reason Buffy agreed to being turned and does not remember why. She was hypnotized!" he said, louder than he'd meant to.

Angel checked around to make sure he hadn't been heard. No vampires were around, luckily.

"I must follow and stop her from completing the mission. That has to be the reason I was sent here," he muttered as he silently followed the Slayer down the dark, gloomy passage.

Even though he was a strong vampire, Angel wasn't sure if he could stop Buffy. Her being weak from lack of feeding might be to his advantage, but he wasn't willing to bet on that.

She fled quickly to the school.

"Buffy stop!" Angel called after her as he reached the campus grounds, just moments behind her.

She stopped and glared at him. "What do you want? I am on a mission for my Master, anything else must wait until that is successfully completed."

"What is your mission?"

"To kill Mr. Giles, school librarian and Watcher."

"Giles is your friend, why would you want to do such a thing?"

"Because my Master wishes it."

"You will kill your friend, because the Master wishes it?" Angel said, horrified.

"Mr. Giles is mortal. Mortals do not matter. They exist to be fed on, nothing more."

"I can't allow you to kill your Watcher. You need him!"

"Then die, Angelus. You are not a true vampire, therefore you like all mortals, do not matter. The weak will die with no exception and the Master will have only faithful servants to cerebrate his ruling of the entire world once more!"

She attacked Angel with a ruthless kick to his stomach, as he doubled over in pain, she brought her joint hands down hard on the back of his neck. Angel staggered away from her. "Buffy, this isn't really you. The Master is controlling your mind. You must fight to be free of him."

"Don't be so sure Angelus. I am totally evil, this is the true me!" Buffy laughed.

She kicked his head hard. His neck snapped back and she heard a nasty crack. Angel screamed in pain. Buffy didn't care. She savagely kicked him in the stomach once more.

As he fell down, she grabbed the back of his jacket and bashed his head against a handily nearby tree. When she let go, he dropped as if poleaxed. Seeing her chance, Buffy ran off towards the school.

Angel swore to himself, using some very colourful expressions.

"I never expected to hear such things from you, Angel."

"Siobhan?" he croaked.

"Who else would be stupid enough to follow a mad half-vampire under the spell of the Master and her boyfriend in the middle of the night when she could be at home, safely tucked up in bed!"

Siobhan took a deep breath and reached out towards Angel's neck, her hands glowing with a faint red glow. He screamed again as she prodded his neck. Seconds later she pulled away from him and sagged against the tree.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked, he felt his neck. It was healed. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me. Get after Buffy. You must stop her from hurting Giles. It is very important that her mission fails!" Siobhan ordered.

He nodded and ran off towards the school.

"Be careful, Angel. Buffy is very dangerous at the moment. She doesn't know what she's doing!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 8

Buffy was already at the library doors

She looked inside and saw Giles there, just as her Master had predicted: He was sitting at the main table with piles of books and almost as many plastic coffee cups from the school dispenser all around him.

As she watched, Giles stood up and removed his glasses to rub his eyes tiredly. He was muttering to himself. Straining her new, improved hearing she managed to hear what he was saying.

"Giles, you are a fool!" he said, "You allowed Buffy to be turned into a half vampire. Now you are searching for spells and castings that might help her back. As if there are any!"

Giles sat down; "I failed her!"

He picked up the nearest book and sighed. "I can not stop until I find something to save her!"

Buffy's mind was reeling. She didn't know what to do, she felt so strange and confused. Angel came round the corner and saw her sink to the ground, holding her head. Siobhan shot round the corner a few seconds later.

"What is happening to her?" Angel asked.

"She saw Giles upset. Worried about her. The Master's hypnotism is crumbling. She's starting to break free," Siobhan said proudly, "I wasn't sure if she'd have the strength. This is a good sign. Maybe she can fully break free and soon. Hopefully very soon"

She muttered a few words under her breath, tracing runes in the air with her finger. The air between Buffy and the library doors shimmered.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Sound screening."

Buffy screamed in pain, at the top of her lungs and sagged back against the wall, her eyes closed.

"Can you help her?" he asked.

There was no answer. Siobhan had left as silently as she'd arrived.

She looked a little better now. She dragged herself up to her feet by leaning on a rubbish bin. Swaying a little she walked back to the library doors and looked through. Giles was there, still reading.

"I nearly killed him. I can't believe that I nearly killed Giles! I mean, Giles! How could I!"

Buffy leaned against the wall with her eyes closed, thinking about what she'd nearly done. She was shaking and couldn't stop.

"Lost your appetite?" Angel asked.

She looked at him, but her mind was else where. "I can't hurt him, Angel. Giles is my friend. I can't kill him for my Master. If he stakes me, then it will be a welcome relief!" Buffy whispered, still thinking about what Giles had said.

Her legs buckled and she slid weakly down the wall, still shaking uncontrollably. Angel sat by her side and hugged her gently. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Something Giles said. Spells and things," Buffy muttered. Then a big smiled crossed her face. "Of course!" she yelled.

The adrenaline made her feel instantly better, she jumped up and checked Giles through the window. He hadn't heard a thing. He was writing in a leather bound book, but every few seconds his head was nodding as he dozed. Much longer and he'd be asleep.

She turned back to the vampire, very excited. "Could you do me a big favour?"

He shrugged and waited to hear her plan.

"I need you to take Giles away from the library and keep him away for as long as possible. I don't care where you take him, or what you tell Giles to get him to go with you. Something like you've seen me and I need his help might work. Please Angel, this is very important!" Buffy begged.

Angel pretended to think about it, but when he saw Buffy's worried look, he nodded.

"Oh, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!" she gushed, hugging him. Then ran around the nearest corner to hide.

"Wait! What are you going to do?" he asked.

Buffy popped her head round the corner and said, "Major studying".

Angel didn't pretend to understand what on earth she meant, but did as he was asked. Modern teenage girls are too confusing! He thought.

Buffy waited impatiently. Silently wishing that Giles would take the bate. She couldn't do anything if he stayed in the library. After what seemed like an eternity to her, but was in reality only a few minutes Angel came out the library with Giles following close behind.

"What is wrong with Buffy? Is she hurt? Sick? Has the Master done something to her?" she could hear Giles demanding.

Angel glanced over at her and answered "I don't know. All she told me, was I had to fetch you. It was very important." Not completely a lie, colouring the truth a little.

She waited even more impatiently for Angel and Giles to turn the corner. And disappear from her sight.

At last they did and she ran across into the library. Giles's books were lying in massive piles everywhere. There were also about 50 plastic coffee cups from the vending machine scattered around.

She looked around trying to work out where to start. This was Giles's field of knowledge, not hers. All she had to know was how to fight and kill monsters. She wasn't even sure what she was looking for.

Buffy was very hungry. She needed to feed, but she couldn't bring herself to hurt anyone. Sweat dripped off of her body. She was developing a fever and was starting to feel very ill. She didn't know why.

If she'd asked Angel or Giles they could have told her the answer. She was in the limbo area between life and death. No longer totally human, but not yet a vampire.

Blood would make her well again, but it would also make her a vampire. If she held out through this feverish sickness she might be saved, but of course Giles couldn't tell her that. She'd sent him away, not realizing how much she needed his help.

Buffy tried to ignore how ill she felt and started to sort through the nearest pile of books. She found some Watcher diaries. Searching further, she was amazed at how many Slayers there had been over the ages. Even if she didn't count all the ones that hadn't been able to fight off Lothos like she had, there had still been hundreds.

It suddenly made Buffy feel very small and mortal. She couldn't suppress a shudder as she thought about the long line of faithful Slayers, and Buffy Summers, the only Slayer to renounce her destiny many times and then do the worst thing possible. Become the enemy she had fought and killed for so long.

She found an unfinished diary. It was one of Giles's about her. He had left it open at the last few entries. She didn't mean to, but something made her read it.

The first entry was for the day before:

_My Slayer, Miss Buffy Anne Summers, has been turned into a vampire. The signs were there for the last few weeks, but I missed them some how. I have no idea how I did so. _

_ This is all my fault, if only I had noticed what was happening to her sooner. Instead of worrying about the lack of Hellmouth activity. I should have been thinking of Buffy's personal problems. It has not been so very long since her troubles at the start of term. Her issues over dying and the Master. I had hoped that once Buffy had destroyed the bones, her troubles would be over._

_ I have failed in my job as Watcher. Looking back the signs were so clear. Why did I not notice them sooner and saved Buffy from being turned?_

_ At the very least I should have known what was troubling my Slayer so much. I never even knew she was upset until it was too late. I should have known. How can I continue in my role as Watcher, if she does not tell me these things?_

_ Actually being turned into a vampire does not seem like her style though. I wonder why she decided on that future? If I can find Buffy, I must ask her._

_ Not that this changes the fact that I should have been far more alert. She did mention something about not being able to continue with her destiny as Slayer. It was too much to cope with. As a vampire she hoped that one of her friends would finish her off._

_ Some how that doesn't seem like the Buffy I know either. More like a distraction to keep me from learning the truth. What could be so terrible she couldn't tell me? _

_ Last night, Buffy had the chance to prove herself to the Master. Some how he has returned in a new body. I know not how. There were comments about cross body mind transference. I must study to discover how this was possible. Anyway, she had the chance to prove herself to the Master by killing her two best friends and me. Alexander Harris and Willow Rosenberg. She couldn't bring herself to harm any of us._

_ With the help of Angel (Angelus the souled vampire) and some capsules of blood Buffy pretended to kill each one of us. She did this to keep us all safe from the other vampires. Who would have killed us if she hadn't?_

_ One thing I do know is that I can never give up on my Slayer. There is still too much of my friend left in that vampire infested soul. When I look at her I do not see a vampire. Just Buffy, my Slayer in grave danger. Maybe I am just grasping at straws, but I need to find some way of helping her. I care too much about Buffy to just leave her to this horrible fate. I have to get to her before the Council does! _

The entry finished there and the one for today started. Buffy didn't read the next entry. She was crying too much. It had finally hit her what she had done, become evil, lost her friends and given up her own destiny. She couldn't think of staking one of her 'own' kind. Her mind was now firmly made up; she had to find a way back no matter the risks. Nothing could change her mind.

She started sifting through another pile of books, totally ignoring the Watcher Diaries.

If only she'd read today's' entry she would have learnt of Giles's and Angel's plan. Would have learnt a lot of things that would have helped her search. Discovered more about the people hunting her.

Buffy carefully made sure she placed the books back right so Giles wouldn't suspect she'd been there. Finally she found the books on vampire myth and legends. She chose three that looked the right sort and sat by the computer to read them

Absent-mindedly she thought about her friends: how they used to sit around the table getting pep talks and weirdness information from Giles. She was sitting in Willow's normal seat.

Buffy pushed the memory of what used to be away. If she was to have any hope of living through another pep talk she needed to study hard.

It could only be a short time before Giles returned. Angel couldn't keep him away forever. If she wasn't finished by then, she'd be in serious trouble.

She forced herself to concentrate more, although her sickness was making it hard. The first two books were useless. Buffy replaced them and started on the third. She heard a noise outside and ran to hide in the stacks, taking the last book with her.

Just as she ducked out of sight, the library doors flew open. Giles was muttering angrily. There was no sign of Angel. She wondered what had happened.

(Giles had been taken by Angel to a ruined house. But when he got there Buffy (of course) wasn't there. Angel pretended to be worried about her running off. They'd checked a few places, but hadn't found her. Giles anger was covering his deep worrying about Buffy's safety)

As she watched, Giles sat down and returned to his books.

Buffy sighed quietly and curled up behind her stack to read the final book. "At last!" she whispered as she found what she had been searching for.

It was a small section written by a person, later admitted to a Mental Hospital, about the cure for a vampire. Buffy had remembered it from a previous study time. It had a lot of complex magic.

She was tired and the words swam in front of her eyes. At least she knew it was the right section, she could read it when she felt better.

Buffy peered around her stack. There was no sign of Giles.

She crept towards the table as quietly as she could wondering where Giles had gone. There was no sign of him anywhere.

Buffy looked at the pile of books on the table for the heavy witchcraft volume she'd seen earlier. Smiling she reached out and picked up the book.

As she drew her hand back with the book someone grabbed her wrist tightly, making her drop her books.

Instinct kicked in along with her 'party' face. Buffy turned sharply and high kicked her attacker in the ribs, with all the strength she could find. Unluckily, being so weak, it wasn't very much. The man who'd grabbed her grunted in pain and staggered away from her.

It was only as Buffy's adrenaline levels rocketed and she readied herself for a second attack, she realized who it was.

"Oh God, Giles! I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was you, I thought my Master had come to check up on me" she said and offered him a hand up.

Giles ignored her hand and dragged himself up. Making sure he kept a good distance from her.

"So that was your plan. Get Angel to lie to me about you and worry me. What were you doing, trying to lead me into a trap?" he demanded.

"I was trying to keep you alive!" Buffy growled. Her vampiric features making her look very scary

Giles glared at her and stormed over to the table. "May I ask your reason for visiting MY library, after school hours Miss Summers?" he demanded.

"Oh, come on Giles! This is me you are talking to. Buffy, you remember. Your chosen gal saves the world every weekend and slays vampires every night. Your pupil in all things weird and wacky!" she said.

Giles just stared at her suspiciously.

Buffy sighed dropping her vampire face, "Look, I know things can never be like they were before after what I did. I'm sorry, but I had little choice in the matter of my turning. I'm not here to feed or anything like that. I'm only here to collect some books so I can do my homework, okay? I've got them now, so I'll leave." She picked up the books from where they'd dropped on the table.

As she turned to walk away, Giles plucked the books from her hands.

He looked at the titles. "The big book of easy spells for white witches and Vampire myths and legends volume one. A little too heavy reading for homework surely, Miss Summers? Also I have not heard of a class on this subject."

Buffy was getting pissed off with Giles now. He was treating her like a complete stranger. She knew it was dangerous for her to lose her temper. The angrier she got, the less control she'd have over her vamp side.

Part of her didn't care.

Part of her wanted to take Giles right there and drink from him until the body was totally dry. Then start on the rest of the humans. Not stopping until the last person in Sunnydale was dead.

"You should know about the class Mr. Giles, you were the teacher!" Buffy shouted, "Let me refresh your memory with a little story. It's about three teenage children at a CA school. Willow, Xander and a young girl called Miss Buffy Summers, who's life got turned upside down and inside out when you, Watcher guys, decided she was the chosen girl.

"Since then she has risked her life nightly, lost all of her friends, got kicked out of school and moved to the back of beyond that just happened to turn out to be a Hellmouth!

"Fought to keep her second Watcher and her friends alive this time, after failing badly in LA. Her schooling has been ruined as she's out almost every night hunting vampires so she can't do her homework.

"She has died and come back to life, lost all form of a social life and become a member of the undead herself. Her Watcher is treating her like a complete stranger and her friends don't trust her any more. Have I missed out anything?" she yelled.

Giles looked shocked at her outburst. He opened his mouth, but shut it again. He didn't know what to say to her.

"What's the matter Mr. Giles? Didn't you think that the undead have feelings too? For God's sake, I did this for you .I become what I feared most so that I could protect you. Like this I would be strong enough to never fail you.

"I'd never have to worry when I'm going to make a stupid mistake and get my friends killed, again. You have no idea how hard it is to be me. To know that if my concentration slips for just one second, I could lose all of you! I couldn't live with that.

"I was better off fighting alone, just like I was after Merrick's death. No Watcher and no one to get hurt, its just a matter of time before I mess up and lose all of you. Just leave me alone." She was close to tears. Snatching the books back, she ran off.

"Now that is my slayer," he said proudly, "Maybe there is hope for her yet."

Then he thought about her visit. "What was so important in those books that she needed Angel to distract me? What would be in those books that she'd need?" he mused.

Then Giles realized, "That cure for vampires I saw earlier, but that is too risky. Surely she would not be stupid enough to try that... Would she?" he muttered.

He thought about it for a moment longer and than ran out of the library after her.

Buffy was feeling exhausted as she ran through the school corridors? She needed to feed, but she couldn't. She stopped to get her breath back.

Suddenly Buffy realized she was breathing. "But vampires don't breath, they are dead. Maybe I'm not a full vampire yet," she thought.

Hearing someone running down a corridor and her name being called.

"I'm over here."

She saw Giles turn a corner, catch sight of her and run over. Politely she waited for him to get his breath back.

"Been following me long?" she asked, "You are supposed to be super fit!"

"You can't use that cure. It's too risky. Angel says that if you don't feed you might revert. I have been looking for castings to help you, but that one is too dangerous. It would kill you," Giles gasped, still trying to get his breath back.

"Oh, its Buffy now, is it? You maybe talking to me, but I'm not talking to you Mr. Giles. I know nothing about a risky cure, so kindly leave me alone," she ordered, "And what makes you think that I want to revert!"

She took a few seconds to calm down and then sighed. "I give up, you won't stop following me will you?" Buffy asked.

Giles shook his head and started coughing badly.

She stared at him, "Are you feeling alright Giles?"

"Fine, thank you. Just a little out of breath. You are fitter as a vampire."

Buffy smiled sweetly. "That's a pity" she said and punched him in the face.

He collapsed unconscious.

Buffy looked down at him, sadly. This was only the second time she'd had to punch her Watcher out in all the time she'd known him and that had been quite a while.

(The first time had been to stop him taking her place when the Master was going to rise.)

"I'm sorry, Giles. You left me no choice. I can't have you following me all the time. You'd stop me from doing what I have to do. The vampires think you are dead now. It would be dangerous for both of us if they find out otherwise. I have to tell my Master I killed you tonight. I'm sorry!" Buffy said and ran outside leaving Giles in the corridor.

It was very near sunrise outside, the vampire part of her panicked. She had no idea what to do.

"I'm gonna die" she muttered to herself, "All this, everything I've been through and I'm going to die from sunlight!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 9

Angel appeared from behind a tree and grabbed Buffy's arm.

"You are not going to die. Now come on!" he ordered, dragging her away.

"I thought you were never coming out!" he complained.

"I got held up by Giles. I thought you were keeping him away! He knows what I'm doing, Angel. I had to punch him to escape!" Buffy gasped as they ran.

He lead her through short cuts towards his home near the Bronze, she'd never seen before. They only just made it into his flat before the sun came up.

"That was close," he muttered as he shut the door.

"Too close!" she moaned as she flopped on his sofa, worn out.

Angel fetched a blanket and tried to drape it over her.

"No, I'm not sleepy," she lied, pushing the blanket away. She was exhausted, but had work to do before Giles turned up, as he was bound to do.

She slid down off the sofa onto the floor and curled up with Giles's books, flipping through them until she found the pages she needed. Then she laid them on the floor in front of her to study.

Angel sat down by her. "Is this what I kept Giles out of the way for?" he asked.

Buffy nodded and showed him the page with the cure. He took the book off her to look at it properly. "This is too dangerous," he told her.

"You think I don't know that!"

Angel checked the page again, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Buffy gave him one of her best glares. "No, I want to stay a blood sucker for the rest of my existence. That's why I asked you to keep Giles way from the library while I snatched his books!"

"I've become the thing I feared most of all. I've lost all of my friends, I have to try. Even being dead is better than being like this."

"Its not too late for is still a chance that you could revert, but you could also die. We need to find some castings to tip the balance in our favour. This one alone is too risky."

"Its not too risky. It'll purge my system of all the vampire DNA it carries I can't get back to the library, so I'll have to work with what I've got. I can't live like this."

"Sorry, for a moment I forgot you are a vampire too" Buffy said looking at his face.

"Not by choice" he muttered bitterly.

"Neither was I" she muttered

"If you fear being a vampire so much, why did you agree to be turned?"

Buffy looked away from him and shifted nervously. She wouldn't, couldn't answer.

" Please tell me."

"Because I wanted my friends to be safe. Because I'm always scared that I will make a dumb mistake and get them killed,or worse. Just like with Merrick, Pike and Jessie. For some stupid reason I can't remember, I thought that as a vampire, I could. I can't even remember why. Angel, why

can't I remember?" she asked getting tearful.

"It wasn't your fault, you were hypnotised. I hid and saw the Master programming you to kill Giles. That's why I followed you. Hoping I could prevent your mission."

"I was hypnotised?" Buffy asked. Angel nodded, so she kissed him. "You wouldn't believe how much better that makes me feel!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a sports bag laying on the floor next to them. "Is this yours?"

"Never seen it before" he answered.

Buffy picked the bag up and dumped its contents on the floor between them. She studied the items and laughed, "Its Giles' bag of tricks!".

They carefully sorted the things out listing them as they went along. "Assorted stakes, loads of bottles of Holy Water, a bottle of garlic tablets (God,you were desperate Giles!), coloured chalks, a small kitchen knife and several crosses," she finished with a shudder. "Must be the only Slayer to fear a cross."

"Some of those things are what is listed in the book for your cure, right?"

There was a loud knock on the door.

"Giles!" she muttered, shoving all the items and the books under the sofa, out of his sight.

"Do you want me to ignore your Watcher?" Angel asked.

"You'd better go see what he wants,otherwise he'll knock the door down. Giles is extremely persistent, stubborn and bloody minded!"

"Just like his Slayer then!"

Buffy glared at him.

"I can try to keep him away from you, if you want" Angel offered as he reached the door.

"No, I should talk to him. If you get in his way, I don't know what he'd do!"

He nodded and opened his front door. "Can I help you,Mr. Giles?" he asked politely.

"Is she here?" Giles demanded breathlessly.

"I'm here," she said, stepping into view.

Angel stepped back and allowed him in.

"You look pale," Giles observed.

"That's because its daytime. I'm tired, if annoying Watchers weren't here, I'd be sleeping!"

"I will not allow you to use that cure. If you give me a few days, I can come up with something better. Something which is less likely to kill you!" he begged.

"I may not have a few days left in which I'm still partly human. Besides I know nothing about a cure, why can't you just leave me alone!"

"Then why did you take those books? And why are you hiding here with Angel?" he demanded.

"I told you in the library. Now I'm a vampire, I want to know my vampy history. And I'm not hiding here. Angel offered his sofa for me to sleep on until I can find a sun free resting place of my very own. To be honest its nothing to do with you. I'm not your Slayer any more, you and the Council have no claim on me."

"I do not believe you," Giles said.

"Fine, that's your choice," she said,"Look this whole undead thing has come as a bit of a shock to me. Leave me alone for 48 hours, I need some time to get myself together. You can study all these 'safe' cures and then we'll talk,okay?"

Giles shook his head.

"Look, I'm very tired and I'm very hungry and I have asked you to leave very nicely. If I have to ask again, it won't be pretty. Do you understand?"

"I am not leaving this apartment until I get those books. I will not allow you to endanger your life!"

Buffy shugged. "I did warn you," she said and allowed her vamp face to appear. Moving swiftly she grabbed her Watcher by his shirt front, lifting him high above the ground.

"Angel, door please."

He quickly opened the door and watched as Buffy threw him through it. She stayed on the threshold and glared at Giles as he stood up.

"I am telling you one last time Watcher, leave me alone. You come anywhere near this flat for 48 hours and I will kill you!" she threatened and slammed the door in his face.

"Are you willing to carry out that threat?" Angel asked quietly.

"No, I couldn't possibly, but Giles doesn't know that. Hopefully he'll stay away long enough for me to start off this cure thing."

She settled down on the sofa to study the books. After a few minutes she yawned, the words seemed to swim in front of her eyes. She tried to make herself concentrate harder,but she couldn't.

Suddenly Buffy realised that Angel was watching her. "Are you tired?" he asked.

"A little, I guess."

"You should rest, its daytime now. You can study tonight, when you can think straight," he said coming over with the blanket again.

"I think you are right, I'm so tired I can hardly see this book let alone read it!" she answered. She allowed Angel to take the book away and tuck her up.

"Good morning, sleep tight," he said and went off towards his bed.

"Night, you too," she said, still not used to the new time scale. And instantly fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 10

Buffy was woken by Angel shaking her, well after sundown.

"Just another five minutes Mum. I'll still be in time for school," she muttered, still half asleep.

"Darling, its Angel. I don't think you need worry about school."

She shot upright and looked round. It took a few seconds longer for her to remember why she was there. "Its well after sundown. Why didn't you wake me sooner?" she asked.

"I wanted to feed before you got up," he answered.

"Oh, yeah I can't eat, right." Buffy said sleepily. She pulled the blanket back over her head.

He pulled it back off. "Cure to be started, Watcher after you. Ring a bell?" he asked

Groaning she got up, "You'd think as a vampire I could enjoy a lie in!"

Angel kissed her. Buffy smiled as he pulled away. "No thats something to wake up for!" she whispered kissing him again.

"Get up Slayer," he said softly.

She wandered over to the sink and splashed cold water on her face, hoping it would wake her up fully. Looked up and screamed.

"What's wrong?" Angel demanded, at her side instantly.

"Um ...Nothing, I'm okay," she said,"It was just the mirror. After all these years it was a shock not to see myself in it."

He looked at the mirror. There was a hazy shadow where she stood, blank glass where he was. "You have a partial reflection still, that's a good sign. You are starting to revert."

Buffy looked up, he was right. "Thanks," she whispered. Then something clicked in her mind. "When did you get a mirror?" she asked.

"When you moved in," he answered, "I wanted to make you feel at home. Either this or frilly curtains, but as I only have one small window maybe Mr. Gordo would do?" and held up her stuffed pig.

"You were in my room and didn't pick me up some clothes?" Buffy asked taking the toy and hugging it. Drawing comfort from its familierness.

Angel pointed to a plastic bag by the sofa. Investigation revelled some black trousers and one of her frilly cream shirts. "Is there anything you don't think of?" she asked going into the next room to

change.

"Do you have to do that in there?"

"Why?" Buffy asked.

"I'd just prefer if you got dressed where I could see you."

She threw Mr. Gordo at him.

"Any sign of Giles yet?" Buffy asked.

"No, do you expect him back?"

"Yes, and very soon"

"What makes you think that?"

"He is my ...I mean was my Watcher. We had to know each other well. How we fight, how we react to things and most importantly how we think. If we didn't know that, we'd both be dead by now.

"Sunnydale isn't the safest place to be. I know he'll come back soon and he knows that I'll be ready for him when he does. We're playing a game with one another. Both playing for time. My life being the prize. He won't give up, and neither will I."

"What do you intend to do when he does come back?" Angel asked.

"I don't know what I'll do, I just know I won't kill him. No matter what my Master tells me"

"Why do you call him your Master?"

Buffy thought for a moment,"I didn't realise I had! I suppose its the last traces of his hypnotism. Now I know he can do that, I'm going to have to be very careful." she said, coming out the door. "Angel, will you promise me something?"

"I would do anything for you." he answered.

"I want you to promise me, that if my Master sends me after my friends again and I'm not strong enough to stop myself, you will do what ever it takes to stop me."

"Buffy, I ..." Angel hesitated.

"Promise me!" she insisted.

"I promise," he said softly.

"Thank you," she whispered, "I know it will be difficult for you, but there maybe no other way. He is strong, really strong. More so than anything I've ever fought before. Its as if?"

"As if what?" Angel asked.

"As if he wasn't alone. As if he'd taken something."

"Taken what? What do you remember?" he demanded.

Buffy looked up, "I don't remember, he told me, but I don't remember."

"The answer is locked inside your mind!"

"I know, but its so tiring to fight him."

"Concentrate, Buffy. Ignore the Master, we can deal with him later. All you need to think about, is this cure!"

They sat down to study the relevant chapters of Giles' 'borrowed' books. The cure seemed to be pretty straight forward, but she knew things weren't always as they seemed. All those years as a Slayer had taught her not to take anything at face value!

Buffy heard a faint sound. She dumped the books on the floor and looked round warily. All her heightened senses on full alert.

"What can you hear?" Angel asked.

"I'm not sure, I'll go and check out the street below us," she said as she looked out the window.

Didn't need to jump, she could see what she'd heard. There was someone skulking around in the shadows. "Giles!" Buffy muttered.

"Already, we still have nearly a day."

"I won't be long" she promised and jumped out the window. Landing just in front of the Watcher.

There was a stake in his hand which he held out at her chest height, ready in case it was needed. He'd been patrolling, looking for the Council's pet murderers, hoping he could keep them from her. He couldn't tell Buffy what was happening, incase she left town. Running from them, and everything that could save her.

"Night Giles. You are sooner than I expected. Shouldn't you be at home with a good book and a cup of bovril?" Buffy taunted.

"I must say, this is a nice way to say hello!" she said and twisted the stake from his hand.

"Ow," Giles complained, rubbing his sore looked at the stake for a moment and then tossed it back to her Watcher. She had no need for it, she could still hold her own, but not for much longer.

"You are safe, I've eaten."

"Most likely you wouldn't be here if you'd fed. The Master would be having a party right about now with his newly vampiric slayer as the guest of honour!"

"I know," Buffy answered, "But that creep isn't getting his way with me. I'm not evil! No matter that he tell me."

"Willow, Xander and I have been researching to try and help you" he said.

She looked hopeful, "Any luck?"

Giles shook his head.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter," she answered, "Anyway what are you doing out here?"

"Someone has to patrol now," he said putting the stake back in his bag.

"Bitchy!" Buffy muttered.

"Your defence is sloppy," she continued with concern, "If I'd wanted to, I could have killed you before that stake was even half way up! You should be more careful, I can't keep an eye on you forever."

"Would you care if I was killed?" he asked.

"Of course I would, how can you say such a thing! I have enough blood on my hands without worrying about yours as well. Just be careful, I have things to do tonight, I can't follow you everywhere." . "Those things would be?" Giles demanded, "Would it have anything to do with spells I expressly forbad you from proforming?"

"That is nothing to do with you, we still have nearly a full 24 hours left. Just watch your back and keep away from me."

She grabbed the drainpipe that ran along near Angel's window and started to climb.

"Are you bothered that I am out killing your family tonight?"

She looked down at him, "No I'm not, kill them all if you wish. Just leave me in peace. What I said before still stands, come near us tonight and I'll kill you," she answered and disappeared through the window.

As soon as she got inside, Buffy grabbed Giles bag and the books. She started to franticly rummage through the contents of the bag.

"What's the hurry?" Angel asked

"Giles is below in the street. Soon he may decide to call my bluff and come up here. The cure must be well started by then or he'll try to stop it!"

"We are missing some items you need."

"Which items? Can we substitute?"

"Some herbs, I know someone I can get them from. I think it will be safer if we don't try to substitute them. The spell is dangerous enough already."

"Okay, lets go," Buffy said grabbing her jacket.

"Are you sure you will be alright out?" he asked

"I'll be fine. If I see the Master or a vampire I'll run, okay?" she snapped exasperated.

She stormed off out the apartment expecting Angel to follow behind.

He met her outside. She'd been checking for Giles, but he seemed to have left at last. Angel lead her through some alleys, it was too dark for her to tell where they were about half an hour he stopped outside a building."Wait here, my ''friend' won't talk to me if he sees a Slayer." he told her and went inside.

So Buffy waited feeling bored. Her tiredness was coming back. Her Master was close, she could feel him. Hopefully she was far enough away he wouldn't find her. After a few more minutes she sensed something else.

"Vampires?" she wondered out loud, but it didn't feel like a vampire. Buffy wasn't sure what she could feel.

She walked out of the alley and checked around.

There was what she'd sensed!

A young couple kissing and drinking beers in the alley over from her.

Everything around Buffy seemed to vibrate with the sound of their hearts beating.

Her 'party' face appeared as she approached them. The girl fell over, she'd passed out from the alcohol. The boy was still standing, but from the way he was swaying, not for much longer.

Buffy grabbed him from behind. The boy dropped the bottle he was holding and tried to struggle, but he was too far gone. His heart beat was almost deafening for her, she bared her fangs and reached for his throat.

Suddenly she was grabbed from behind. She let go of the boy and struggled against her attacker.

She got slapped across her face hard. The stinging made the slayer stop struggling for a moment.

Her attacker shoved her against the wall. "No, Buffy!" he ordered. and forced her to look at his face.

"Angel?" she asked softly. Her awareness coming back finally.

He nodded.

"What's going on? Why are you holding me against this wall?" she demanded starting to struggle again.

Angel pulled her away from the wall roughly. "That's why!" he said shoving her towards the two passed out teenagers. Buffy tripped and fell over, she landed on the boy.

"Do you know what you've done?" he shouted, "Why did you make me go to all this trouble to get these herbs and help you steal those books if you intended to do this as soon as my back was turned?"

Buffy stared at the boy, she could see two pink marks on his neck where her fangs had broken the skin. She gasped and dragged herself away from him. She lent against the wall shaking, "Oh my God, what did I do?" she muttered, "I drank, I drank."

She dragged herself up and ran off.

Seconds later she could hear him running after her.

Buffy was frightened, there was no way back for her now. She'd taken the blood, she was a full vampire forever. No chance of reverting for her now. She was evil. Lost, no longer a slayer. No longer anything. Buffy wasn't looking where she was going. Something tangled around her ankle and tripped her up. She fell over and hit her head against a wall.

Curling up in a ball she started sobbing, hoping that Angel wouldn't find her and that sun up would come quickly.

Being a vampire? It truly was a fate worse than death, a curse not a gift. And one she'd lose in a few short hours time.

She'd walk out into the sun, she'd take her own life. It wasn't possible for her to survive as a vampire. Not with what she knew and felt. Her friends would never forgive her. She could never forgive herself!

Buffy said goodbye to each of them silently and waited for the sun to rise.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 11

Buffy didn't know how long she sat there crying, or when Angel arrived. All she knew was he was holding her while she cried, waiting for her to finally stop.

He waited a long time.

Finally she wiped her eyes and pulled away from him.

"We have to be going. There are only a few hours left," Angel told her gently.

"What's the point, I drank."

Buffy stood. "Goodbye, Angel," she whispered touching his face.

Angel grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "You didn't drink. I stopped you in time. You can still use the cure, you are still human."

She blinked and looked more alertly at him, "Didn't drink?"

"No, you didn't drink" he told her again "Lets get going."

"But the marks? The blood?"

"I wasn't sure how far you'd gone, I hadn't had a chance to check the boy. I thought you'd chosen to drink, but I was wrong. You had bloodlusted, your vampire instincts had taken over. If I'd been just a second longer, you would have been The Master's favourite new toy."

"I read about bloodlusting in a childs vampire book. I never knew it was real. I'd never really thought about it. I wasn't really expecting to be here!"

"Are we going now?"

She nodded, so he lead her quickly away. When they got to the apartment, she noticed Giles a little way off, so they quickly went to Angel's place via a back entrance.

When they got inside, she collapsed weakly onto the sofa.

"Rest Buffy, we'll start off fresh tomorrow night," Angel ordered.

"No, it'll be too late then," she insisted, calling up the last of her strength. Angel nodded, knowing that he couldn't stop her. "I never thought to ask, did you get the herbs?"

He pulled a small paper bag from his pocket and held it out. Buffy smiled and took it. She tipped out Giles's bag again and picked out the chalk sticks.

"Okay,stage one," she read aloud, "Simple purification symbols." She drew some basic scribbles on the floor, copying what was in her book.

"How do we energise the drawings?"

Angel flipped through the spell book he was holding until he found the page, "There are a couple of magic words you have to say and then you seal it with your own blood mixed with the herbs." He held out the book so she could read the enchantment.

Buffy took her small knife from her bag and nicked the tip of one finger with it. "Anmer bishhl cadrral bishfs." Squeezed some droplets of blood from her finger onto her drawings and then sprinkled the

herbs.

The symbols shimmered for a moment and then faded until they were nearly invisible.

"Okay, stage two," Buffy said and read the next few lines of text to herself.

Angel collected all the bottles of Holy Water and the bottle of garlic tablets. He placed the pile carefully on the floor and sat down next to them.

Buffy handed him the books."Just in case this does go wrong, I'd like you to take these back to Giles. Tell him I'm sorry for what I did. Tell him he didn't fail me, I failed him. I was stupid and weak for a short time, just enough for the Master to use it against me. Tell him its not his fault, please Angel. He blames himself."

He nodded excepting the pile.

Buffy was very scared, she knew what she had to do, but wasn't confident. Angel could sense her fears. He bent over and kissed her tenderly. She gratefully returned the kiss. She wondered if she'd ever see him or any of her friends, ever again. Was this it? Would the cure kill her? It was a long time before she

pulled away from the vampire and turned to her potions.

Carefully shook about half a dozen pills from the bottle and washed them down with a large amount of Holy Water. She collapsed seconds later.

"Buffy!" Angel shouted, grabbing her as she fell.

She smiled up at him. "Don't worry, I'm fine!" A few seconds latershe passed out.

Angel lay her gently on the floor and wadded his jacket up under her head. Watching as she slipped in and out of consciousness. He knew how much his love wanted to be human again, so he carefully dosed her every hour regardless of the pain.

It was nearly sunrise when someone knocked on his door. He opened it carefully, prepared to slam it shut again if Giles standing there. Luckily it wasn't.

It was in fact a tall teenage girl, with waist length chestnut coloured hair and a pale, but perfect completion covered with freckles.

"Hi, Siobhan. I thought you were Mr. Giles again." Angel said.

"Greetings Angel. The Watcher isn't in sight yet, but he is bound to come back very soon," she said, "How is the Slayer? She must be much weakened by now."

"Buffy is very ill, but how did you know?" he asked stepping backwards to allow her entry.

Siobhan walked inside, staggering under the weight of her large shoulder bag. "Angel, you've known me long enough to know that I'm not what I seem to be. Buffy's cure was foretold to me long ago, as was your part in it. Give me your burnt hands," she ordered, dumping her bag on the floor, not able to withstand its extreme weight any longer.

He meekly held out his hands. "Ouch!" Siobhan exclaimed as she looked at his hands. The burning was much worse than she'd expected. She held his hands tightly and closed her eyes in deep concentration.

Angel hissed in pain at her touch. "Sorry," she said as she released him.

He stared at his hands, they weren't burnt any more and there was no sign that they ever had been. Siobhan sat down on the sofa quickly.

"Are you feeling okay?" Angel asked.

"I'll be all right in a minute. Magic has a price, usally in the energy of the user.

An alarm clock rang noisily. Angel leaned over to shut it off. "What does that alarm mean?" she asked, getting up.

"Its time for Buffy's next treatment."

Siobhan studied the sleeping Slayer carefully. "She is very weak, but as far as I can tell she is reverting. I can give you no guarantee that she will survive this ordeal but I promise I will do all I can for her."

She bent down to look at the symbols Buffy had drawn. "These are all wrong. They are purification signs, but are far too weak to be any use for her. If there is to be any hope for the young Slayer, I must make them much stronger."

Siobhan rooted through her bag and pulled out a pack of different coloured chalks and a long thin stick. She drew many new signs around the young girl and amended most of the others.

"Now to energise them," and picked up her stick.

"What good is a stupid stick going to do!"

"This is no stupid stick, Angel! It is my willow wand, it is capable of strong magical spells of healing along with many other spells,"

She waved the wand over Buffy and muttered some words he couldn't hear. She staggered, Angel only just caught her before she fell.

"Get off me!" Siobhan complained and weakly struggled until he let go of her. Angel watched as she dosed the pills and Holy Water.

"Go rest Angel, its daytime. I will need you to dose Buffy at night, while I sleep. Then I'll dose her through the daylight hours while you rest." She reached in her bag and pulled out some bags of blood

she'd stolen from the hospital blood bank. "I think you'll need these, I brought several because I wasn't sure how long it would be before you can get out to collect more. This cure could take weeks or just days. I don't know enough magic to speed things up. Even if I could, she might not survive."

"Thank you," he said softly, placing the bags in his fridge. Reminded of the fact Siobhan had known who he was before she'd come to Sunnydale. Not for the first time he wondered who say really was and who had sent her to find them all.

There was a thunderous banging on the front door, he opened it quickly and Giles nearly fell in. Siobhan had just a few seconds to whisper the magical words she needed.

"Where is Buffy? I must stop her from using those cure spells. She told me if I came last night she'd kill me, but its morning now and I must find her quickly!" Giles demanded.

"You are too late Mr. Giles" Siobhan said. She stepped aside so he could see his comatose charge.

Her ran over and checked things like her pulse and breathing. "What is wrong with her?"

"She is reverting. The cure spells are starting to work. I know the risks , but it was Buffy's choice to make and she chose of her own free will. I was sent here to protect her, so I came. "

"You must stop this insane 'cure', before it is too late!" Giles insisted. Laying Anne's ankh on her chest.

"Buffy wants this too much. I won't let you stop her," Angel exclaimed.

"I also can not let you harm Buffy. If the cure is stopped now, it will kill her. If its continued she has a chance. It maybe just a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless," Siobhan said.

She pulled Giles away from the Slayer. He waved a cross in her face. "You can stop that,crosses don't hurt me. I'm a witch, not a vampire."

She released her grip on Giles's arm and raised her wand.

"Don't do this!" Angel begged, "You are too weak, the spell could go wrong."

"There is no choice. He will harm Buffy otherwise!" Siobhan answered, "And I have sworn to protect her in this most difficult and dark time!"

"I am trying to save Buffy not harm her," Giles insisted, "She is my responsibility.

"Dianna Goddess of the Hunt hear my call," she shouted tracing a circle around the Watcher with her wand.

Giles backed away nervously as multi coloured sparks spun from her wand and around his body.

"Send this man far away from here. Keep him from harming the Slayer. Take him now Dianna, keep him from us! I command you to take him now!" Siobhan shouted.

Giles disappeared.

"What have you done to him?" Angel asked.

"I sent him back to his school library. You need not fear his return. My spell will prevent him from coming anywhere near, until this is all over."

She pulled the ankh from Buffy. "The other is here, we must be careful. She will fight us and the child."

Siobhan threw the ankh out the window. As it fell to the ground, it caught light and burnt into a fine dust.

Angel awoke to see Siobhan pacing across the floor. When she realised he was awake, she told him the Holy Water had run out.

"Can we get her some more?" he asked.

"I doubt if it would do her any good now. We have done all we can. Whether she lives or dies is in fate's own hands now. If she is strong enough and wants to live enough, Buffy will." She started to gather

up her things and shove them back in her bag.

"Is there nothing we can do for her?" Angel asked.

"Praying is about the only thing left, if you believe in such things," she said, "I have to go now, I have helped all I can. There are other things I must attend to for after she awakens. Look after Buffy carefully, it maybe a while before she wakes up. If ever."

"Thank you for everything, Siobhan."

She smiled, "We will met again soon. My destiny is linked with hers. My purpose in life is to help her fight and defeat the Master. If I survive that battle, then I can finally try to avenge my.

"I guess I can't tell you that. I'm not allowed to reveal who I am, not until a few more things have happened."

"I understand," Angel said and escorted her to the door. "Goodbye my fair witch and beware. There are many nasty things lurking around Sunnydale day and night."

"I can look after myself. I am stronger than I look. There is a lot more to me than meets the eye, my friend" she said as she closed the door quietly behind her.

He shook his head. There was certainly more to the girl then she'd told him. She'd proved that several times: healing him twice and casting spells. He wondered what Siobhan's secrets were as he settled back down to watch over his love.

He knew it might still be touch and go with Buffy, but he had a strong feeling that she was going to be okay.

She had to be!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 12

It was early the next morning before the Slayer finally opened her eyes.

Angel ran over and helped her up. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Ask me that again in a minute," Buffy said and stumbled (on legs that were really too weak to hold her) over to the pile of bits and pieces from Giles's bag. Taking as deep a breath as she could and picked up the largest cross and held it tightly in her hands for a few seconds and then dropped it.

Angel put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm sorry the cure didn't work for you, Buffy," he said.

"Didn't work! It worked better than I ever hoped it would. That cross didn't hurt me at all. Look!". she held her hands out to him.

He turned her hands over and checked them, she was telling the truth. Her hands were smooth and blemishless.

"I'm cured!" she exploded hugging him.

He smiled very faintly, you could only notice it at all if you were looking very carefully.

After a while Angel pulled away from her and offered her a bottle of blood for breakfast. Buffy pulled a face and said "Yuck. I'm hungry, but not that hungry!" He was at last satisfied that his slayer was

cured. He hugged her tightly and kissed her several times.

When he finally let go she said, "Angel, you can be cured the same way."

"I can't. I'm sorry, Buffy. This only worked for you because you weren't fully turned. You were reverting before you took it. Even with your extra Slayer strength it nearly killed you." he answered sadly.

She kissed him again tenderly, to show that it didn't really matter to her. Then she gathered up all of Giles's things and put them into his sports bag with the two books.

As she did so she noticed there were many more symbols around were she'd been sleeping than she'd drawn, and wondered what had happened. A strong witch had to have visited while she slept.

"How long has it been, Angel?" she asked as she peered out of his window at a starry night sky. Somehow, even though she knew what was out in the dark looking for her it felt comforting to her. Almost

like she belonged to that night world still.

"Since you began the cure?" he asked, "Four days. Where are you going?", noticing she was getting ready to jump.

"Four days, my friends will be worried. I'm going to find Giles and tell him I'm okay. I can't leave him worrying about me any longer. I just hope he can learn to trust me again."

She sighed. "Giles was right when he said nearly getting him and the others killed when the Master was going to be brought back wasn't the biggest mistake I'd ever make. If I'd known my next one was going

to be so terrible I would have locked myself away in that cave with cable!"

"The new Slayer wouldn't have been as stupid as I have. Allowing the Master to hypnotise me was so dumb. I should have been able to with stand it!"

"You should rest for a while first, you've been very ill. If it wasn't for a friend of mine topping up those spells I don't think you would have survived!" he told her.

"I can't wait, Angel. Surely you can understand that. I promise to rest afterwards,okay?"

"Okay, just be careful, Buffy."

"I promise!"

"I thought I'd lost you so many times" Angel whispered.

"I thought I'd never see you again too" she admitted.

They kissed once more.

"Goodbye Angel" Buffy said and jumped out the window.

"Wait!" he shouted and jumped after her.

"What's wrong?" she demanded.

"I meant to give you this, but I got a little distracted," Angel said handing her a gold dagger with a hilt incrusted with gems. "You may need to draw your own blood to prove yourself."

She took the dagger and examined it. The dagger was of amazing quality, there were stones incrusted in the hilt to aid a person's grip as well as look pretty. Roses were craved along the blade itself. Creepers covered in roses.

"Looks very old," Buffy commented. She swung it around a few times. "Well weighted too, must be worth a fortune."

"I picked it up in my bad old days, worked a few tortures. When I was cursed I kept the knife to remind me what I was." .

"We all have dark past, Angel. We all have things we like to hide. My past isn't that great either. Before I became the Slayer my life was a total mess. But its the past that makes us what we are now. Friends help, I dread to think what I would be without my friends. And I don't mean undead."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

A dark shadow crossed her eyes and she closed them for a moment. "Later, I have to find Giles."

Angel gave her one of his special glares.

"Its hard to hit 16 and find out all you believed in was a lie. No college, no job at a nice office in the middle of New York, no husband, no children, no life. Its just vampires, vampires, vampires until you die. And for me even beyond that considering I died last term.

"If it wasn't for the people that care for me, like Giles and Willow and Xander and you. I'd be just as bad as what I'm fighting. You guys keep me on the right track and don't let me go too far. Without my friends I'm nothing."

"You are not nothing alone. You are Buffy, all powerful. You can do anything you want. Now what do you want to do?" Angel asked.

"I want to find my friends. I want things to be like they were before. If they can. Then I want to go kick some undead butt and I want to put the Master back where he belongs."

"Then do it."

Buffy smiled broadly, "I think I'm getting it. If you want it, do it. Then its party time!"

"I'll see what I can get on the Master before sun up. Meet me back at my place at dusk. That should give you enough time to find everyone as well as rest," he said.

"I promise and I'll return the knife as soon as I can." She gave him a quick kiss and ran off towards Sunnydale High School.

"Be careful my love" Angel whispered as he watched her disappear.

It wasn't long before Buffy found herself at the school gates, they were locked of course, but it didn't take her more than a few seconds to bust open a rear door. "I'd make a fantastic criminal if I wasn't

the Slayer," she muttered to herself as she wandered through the corridors towards the library.

She hoped Giles was in there, if he wasn't she'd have no idea of where to look for him. She had no idea where he lived, off patrol she only ever saw him in the library. She wondered which cupboard

he stored his clothes in!

Buffy crossed her fingers and looked through the little window in the library doors. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Giles was still inside, even though it was nearly dawn.

He looked a real mess. As if he hadn't eaten much or even slept since he'd found out she was a vampire. Buffy took pity on him and collected a big cup of coffee from the nearby dispenser.

Unknown to the Slayer, she was being watched from a nearby doorway. "So Buffy, you did survive. I thought you would. The only thing now is will I?" Siobhan whispered, she watched Buffy look around and then enter the library. "Good luck!"

Buffy hovered outside the library doors for a few minutes trying to pluck up the courage to enter. She felt as if someone was watching her. Looked around, but couldn't see anything. She decided it was probably Angel, and if it wasn't she didn't really want to know. Finally she look a deep breath (God, it felt good to be human again!) and entered.

Giles swung round to see who had come to disturb him and froze in his chair when he saw who was standing there.

"Morning Giles," Buffy said cheerfully as she walked towards him, "I brought you some coffee," she said, offering him the styrofoam cup. Gingerly he took the cup from her with his left hand as he quickly swung up his right, holding her necklace. "Oh, thanks. I'd been wondering where that was," taking the cross from him attaching it around her neck. "I brought back your bag. You'd left it at Angel's, and I brought

back those books I borrowed the other night."

She placed the bag and books on the table next to her Watcher. Trying not to make any sudden moves to scare him. He was watching her with caution, but wouldn't say anything. She was getting more than a little annoyed now. "You haven't said one word to me yet. I thought you'd be glad to see me. It has been four days!"

No reaction."Why did I bother!" she exclaimed, "Why did I nearly destroy myself to be human again for this! I thought you were my friend, I guess I was wrong." She turned to go. Slowly with his eyes locked on Buffy's back watching for any sudden moves, reached under the table. Grabbed a bottle of Holy Water and threw the contents all over her. "Oh Giles! This is dry clean only," she complained,"I'm sending you the bill!".

"H H how is this possible? You are a vampire!" Giles stuttered.

"At long last, the Watcher speaks! Break out the balloons! Quick, call the news papers! Contact the television stations! Call a public holiday! The Watcher can speak after all!" He was watching her half scared and half confused. She could smell his fear. "I was a vampire, but now I'm cured. Okay?"

"Those spells could not have worked. If you reverted, you would have died. I should know, I've spent the last six days searching for anything that would help you!" he told her firmly.

Giles tried to dash past her to safety, but Buffy grabbed his arm and swung him back into his chair. She positioned herself right in front of him, so there was no chance of escape. "Still don't believe me after the cross and the Holy Water? You are so stubborn. I guess I'll have to prove it the hard way. Angel said

I would, but I said 'No, he is my Watcher. He will believe me! Shows how much I know!"

She removed Angel's dagger from a stake pocket.

"Now Buffy, lets not be too hasty. Can we talk about this?" he asked nervously, convinced that she was going to stab him under the Master's instructions.

Buffy shot him a confused glance and lifted the dagger high. Giles swore quietly under his breath as she quickly brought the dagger back down and made a small cut on her arm. Then she waved the bloody arm under her nose. Giles waited for her 'party' face to appear,but it didn't. All he saw was his friend standing there. Wiping the blood from her arm, she glared at her Watcher."Is there anything in the world I can do that will convince you. Do I have to die for you to believe that I'm actually alive?" she exploded crying tears of frustration and pain. She ran off towards the doors, she'd barely taken three steps before she collapsed.

Giles dived down by her side, all his fears instantly forgotten. All that mattered to him now was that the Slayer needed his help. She looked up at him and said sleepily "Maybe I should have listened

to Angel. I couldn't leave you worried about me though. I had to let you know I'm okay." She was drifting off. Giles was afraid to let her sleep incase she'd didn't wake up again.

"Buffy, can you hear me?" he asked. "Tell me what spells you used to speed up your reversion, Buffy. I need to know or I can't help you."

"Pages 273,5 and 6," she muttered.

Giles got up and fetched the book as quickly as he could. Returning to Buffy's side before flicking through for the pages. "Garlic and Holy Water taken internally every hour in small doses. Purification

spells, mixed magical herbs, talismans," he read out loud, "Is that right?"

Buffy looked up at his concerned face."Don't look so worried Merrick. I just need to rest for a little while and then I'll be fine again, you'll see. I promise to cut cheers practise tomorrow for extra Slayer

training.

"I'll have to attend the game the day after though, or everyone will know something is wrong. The vampires must not learn my name you told me, remember Merrick? I've been practising what you taught me. You'd be surprised at how much better I am now. I guess living on the Hellmouth does that to a girl."

"Do you live on a Hellmouth now?"

"Yes, I do. Sunnydale is just like Eerie Indiana: the centre of all weirdness."

She thought for a moment and then said "You haven't been to Sunnydale, have you Merrick? I'll have to take you there one day. Its a lot different to LA, but the nightlife is as bad. It never goes away. No matter how many I kill, more come back for me."

Giles scooped her up gently in his arms and carried her into his office. He carefully laid her on the sofa and soaked his hanky in the water jug placing it on her forehead to try and bring down the

fever.

The girl who had been watching from the doors sneaked into the library. She could hear Giles's soft snoring, so she knew she was safe. She quietly walked into his office and looked at Buffy.

"You stupid Slayer. You should have rested. You reversion wasn't complete when you woke up. It takes more rest for you to be fully restored. You could still die in these later stages, I told Angel to keep an eye on you. Vampires are useless!" she exclaimed.

Siobhan wasn't sure what to do. She took a bottle of pale golden powder from her bag and looked at it. "This should do. Don't worry Buffy, it won't hurt at all" the girl said taking a large handful of the powder out of the bottle. She muttered some strange words and sprinkled the powder over her sleeping form.

As she turned away to leave she noticed Giles snoring at his desk. "I'm not meant to be here at all, so helping you as well as her won't make much difference." Siobhan said and sprinkled some of the powder

over him. As she left the double doors she threw a third handful of the powder over the threshold. "Now you won't be disturbed by anything nasty while you sleep. My spell will keep you safe until the sun comes up. After that its up to you. Goodbye and good luck!" the girl called.

Many times through out the night Giles was disturbed by Buffy. She thrashed around and talked to people called Merrick and Pike a lot. Giles couldn't think of anything he could do the help her. The toxic (to vampires) mix of garlic and Holy Water should have killed her almost instantly, the size of the doses she'd been taking.

But then again maybe it was:

Poisoning her slowly ...


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 13

Buffy awoke with a thumping headache. There was something wet and slimy on her head. She reached up and removed the object. Had to study the object for a few moments before realising it was a damp cloth. Dropped the material on the sofa she stood up, looking around her only half realising where she was.

There was a slight sound from the library, she instinctively turned towards the door to see what it was. As she got to the door she knocked a book off of the desk. The sudden noise woke Giles up. He felt quickly across the table covered in books for his glasses and pulled them on. "Buffy, what are you doing?" he asked, getting up stiffly. The night in a hard chair had done nothing to improve his aching mussels.

Well, at least that's what he'd expected. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that all his aches and pains had disappeared without trace. Almost magically! He sniffed the air, a magic user had been in this office within the last 12 hours.

There was some powder on his desk. He scooped up a pinch of the power and smelt it. A standard 'cure all' spell. Crude substance used mainly by novices. He'd used it when he was younger to relieve hang overs. Who had been trying to help them? he wondered, was it the girl he'd been banished by at Angel's or perhaps the equally mysterious Anne?

"Morning Merrick," Buffy answered, still dazed from her high fever.

He sighed and looked at his young friend with understandable concern, brushing the powder from his fingertips. He'd worry about that once his Slayer was better. As long as the witch or warlock was doing good spells, he'd ignore them. Giles felt her temperature with one hand while grasping her wrist tightly with the other to stop her from running away. "Come and sit back down please, Buffy" he asked.

In this state it wasn't safe for her to be running around alone. What if a group of vampires found her, he thought and shuddered. "You have had a bad fever. You were very sick. You are still ill, you must

rest" he told her firmly.

She allowed him to sit her back down on the sofa. As Giles knelt in front of her to re-soak his hanky, he noticed she was studying his face intently. "It is all right, Buffy. It is only me, your Watcher

Merrick," he said,thinking it was best to humour her.

She shook her head firmly, "No, not Merrick. He is dead, I saw him. Felt his blood soak into my clothes. You are Giles, my second Watcher, from Sunnydale," she said firmly. The last of her dazedness seemed to disappear instantly.

"That's right Buffy, how do you feel?" he asked, smiling in relief.

"Oh,fine. Never better,"she muttered, "How long was I out for? Must have been really ill for you to be fussing over me this much!"

"You have had an unusually extreme fever. I was worried about you. It is after 9.30 am now," he said checking his watch, "You were 'out', as you put it, for seven hours and I do not fuss!"

"You look terrible!" she exclaimed, looking at Giles closely. "Have you had anything apart from short cat naps since I got turned? Have you been eating regular meals?" she demanded.

Giles just shrugged,looking very sheepish.

"Oh Giles, I leave you alone for five minutes and this is what you do! I swear I'm going to get you a Watcher-sitter for when I'm not around. I wonder if Willow would agree to it?" she said.

"What do you do when I leave you alone for five minutes? You run off and become a vampire. Willow would be better off using her spare time being a Slayer-sitter!" Giles replied.

Buffy wasn't totally sure if he was joking or not. "Oh. Cheap shot Watcher. For the moment I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, basically because I don't feel well enough to thump you. But you'll

pay for that next training session."

"Fine" Giles replied, "For the moment I am just relieved there is going to be another training session."

"You're not the only one," she muttered with a shudder.

"Now come on Watcher. You know my Mum is away, so you can come back to my place and I'll cook you a full English fried breakfast with gallons of coffee," Buffy offered as they walked out of the office.

Not waiting for a reply, Buffy walked out the library.

Moments later she walked back in realising the watcher hadn't followed like she'd expected. "And you are still here because?"

"I have work to do here, Buffy" Giles answered.

"Oh yeah? Are you willing to bet on that?" she demanded, standing her ground. Both hands firmly planted on her hips, her whole attitude was daring him to disagree with her. She'd fight, if she had to. "You

have five seconds to walk through that door on your own before I drag you through it!" she said calmly.

"Buffy!" Giles said," I have a lot of researching to do. I have to find out how the Master came back and what he wants."

"Cross-body, well cross-vampire mind transference. To take over the world, same as every other creature of the night, normal working day for us, " Buffy answered calmly, "I need my Watcher in top shape,

NOT starving himself and refusing to sleep. You have five seconds to walk through that door before I drag you through it!"

Not giving an inch. For once she was acting as stubbornly as her Watcher. Just as stubbornly he didn't move, just crossed his arms and waited. "Don't push me, Giles. Not with the week I've had!"

Giles looked at her wondering whether or not she was serious. Then she started counting. He decided she was bluffing and stayed were he was.

"Five, okay I drag out out. You should know by now, I never bluff!" the Slayer said. She grabbed his right ear lobe tightly and dragged him towards the double door.

"I will walk. I promise, Buffy. Please release my ear before you rip it off!"

Smiling she gave his ear once last gentle tweak and then let go. She crossed her arms and stared at him. Giles quickly walked out the door. Laughing she followed.

"Would you really have dragged me by my ear all the way to your house?" Giles asked when she caught up with him.

"No, I wouldn't have."

Giles looked relieved. "I would have carried you instead!" Buffy said with a broad grin.

That's my Slayer back at last. The ever teasing teenage pain in the neck, how I missed her! Giles thought.

As they left the school building Buffy noticed that it was dark and stormy. She glared at him,"Thank's a lot, Giles. You just HAD to complain about the weather didn't you!" she moaned.

"We do not have days and days of sunny weather in a row. In England the weather is cold and wet. If it is not cold and wet, it is foggy or snowing."

"Oh Giles, lighten up! It was a joke! Even Merrick had a sense of humour. Sure you didn't get to see it often, but he did have one. Give up on the high class British gentleman act for a while. Live a little before you die. Around here you never quite know how soon that's gonna be!"

She stormed off ahead expecting Giles to follow her at his own pace, after all he had promised. He wouldn't dare double back to the library now. It was more than his life was worth to dare break his word now!

Secretly she was glad it was cloudy. For some reason sunlight still terrified her. Buffy decided that it was because she'd been a half vampire for so long, it had been a bad mental strain and there would be a few side effects for a while. At least she was alive and human once more. Being a vampire had been far too creepy!

When Giles reached the Summers house, he found the front door open wide and no sign of Buffy. He shut the door behind him and called her name.

"You took your time, I was about to send a search party!" she called, "I'm in the living room."

Giles found her sorting through a old suitcase. There were a bundle of men's clothes inside she was sorting out. "They were my Dad's," Buffy explained, "We accidentally brought them with us when we moved. Dad just keeps forgetting to pick them up. Mum stuck them in the loft. She hasn't got round to throwing them out yet. Good thing really."

She picked out a couple of suits and held them in front of Giles. Chose the one that looked like it would fit him and dumped the rest back in the suitcase. "Go take a shower and put these one. Sorry its

not tweed, but its better then the rumpled, torn stuff you have on," she said, "I promise that by the time you are finished I'll have breakfast ready."

He hesitated, but finally took the clothes and allowed her to show him where the bathroom was.

Afterwards Buffy wandered down to the kitchen to start breakfast. She'd picked up everything she needed on the way from a 7/11 shop. It didn't take her too long to cook up two full fried breakfasts, half a loaf of toast and roughly three million gallons of coffee.

Giles wasn't down yet, so she put his plate under the hot plate and sat down with her own. She felt very hungry, but just looking at the food made her feel sick. Another lasting reminder of what I was, Buffy

thought. She heard a sound coming from upstairs, she stuck her head out the door trying to work out what the sound was. She realised it was Giles, he was singing in the shower.

Back in the kitchen and scraped her breakfast into the bin. Then dumped her dirty plate in the dishwasher with all the pots and pans she'd used. Not knowing what to do while she waited, Buffy wandered into the living room.

She tripped over her school bag and sat down to investigate the contents. Apart from all the text books and a few half finished homework projects due weeks back, Buffy found some cassette tapes. Most of the tapes were of resent Bronze bands,but one was completely unmarked.

Ever the curious teenager, she shoved it in the nearby tape deck and pressed play. It turned out to be a tape of the cheers music from her old school. The first track was one of her favourites: 'Buffy, dance until you just can't dance any more'. She smiled as she thought about all the fun she'd had at her old school ..., before the Watcher's had turned up for her. Buffy reached into the little drawer at the bottom of her Mum's cupboard and pulled out her old pom poms. Joyce had hidden them there after her daughter had thrown them away.

She had found them a few weeks later, but never told her Mum. She shook the pom poms out because they'd been crushed a little in the drawer and launched herself into her old routine. Buffy was a little rusty at first due to the long lack of cheering, but soon got back into the hang of it. Starting to enjoy herself in a way she hadn't been able to in a long time. Not since she'd discovered she was the chosen gal. It felt amazingly good to be doing some thing energetic that wasn't fighting for her life! As she twirled round and high kicked, Buffy saw that Giles was watching her from the doorway. She froze as he reached over and switched off her music. She stood there turning all the shades of red it is possible to turn, wondering how long he'd been standing there.

Finally he broke the silence."I er ...I did not know you still do cheerleading. You promised that after the trouble with Amy's Mother, you would not try out again".

"I don't break promises!" she snapped as she dumped her pom poms back in the drawer, slamming it shut again.

Giles winced, he'd said the wrong thing. He couldn't have said anything more stupid.

"I also don't cheer any more," she snapped, "These are from my old school. Back in the good old days when I had a life and was destiny free. Before you and your Watcher buddies chose to ruin my life! I

just found the tape and wondered if I could still do the cheers. I have only broken a promise to you when the greater good of the world needed me to!"

She shoved past him and stormed into the kitchen. Giles followed behind nervously. "That was a very unusual routine you did Buffy, I enjoyed it."

She glared at him and slammed his breakfast down on the table with a jug of coffee and a massive rack of toast.

"Where is your breakfast?" he asked.

"I ate mine while you were singing in the shower!" Buffy said, sweet revenge she thought.

Giles went red. Buffy decided to push him further, after all it had been a very horrible remark he'd made. "Hey, millions of people do it. Even I do, that is when someone doesn't make me go straight out

on patrol. At least you can sing, you should get in a band for old people."

Giles went, if it was possible, redder than before. Even though she was still annoyed with her Watcher, she decided to leave him in peace to enjoy his breakfast. She went and took a long shower to wash off all the dirt and grime that comes from sleeping in a graveyard and wandering through deep

electrical tunnels.

Buffy felt much better when she came out. She put on a huge bathrobe and and wandered across to her room to find some clothes. "Okay, what's fashionable for the returned from the undead?" she

asked herself while flicking through her vast wardrobes. "Hey, I'm the first. Time to create my own fashion trend!"

It was a very long time before she decided on a outfit she'd just bought on a trip to see her father. It was a short yellow skirt and a white tie top with red, blue and yellow splatters all over. As Buffy studied her reflection she decided that Cordelia would be jealous. It wasn't often that one of the school 'weirdos' dressed in the latest LA fashion. Poor Cordy,she thought. She is as lonely as I am. All she has is her gang of wannabe's. I'm lucky to have my good friends. Cordy doesn't have any friends that don't hang with her for the status.

She got distracted from thinking about Cordelia as she noticed that her reflection in her long mirror was hazy and fading. She rubbed her eyes and then the mirror before looking again, but it made no difference. She was reverting still, but this time back into a vampire!

"Shit!" Buffy muttered and left her room, banging the door hard behind her.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 14

Buffy wandered downstairs moments later, humming a tune she'd heard on the radio and trying to be cheerful. She couldn't let Giles know what was happening. She had to get back to Angel soon, he'd know what was happening to her. She'd thought that she was cured. Angel must have thought so too, or he wouldn't have allowed her to go out alone.

When she reached the kitchen she discovered that Giles had nearly finished his massive breakfast. She poured herself a cup of sugary coffee and sat down sipping it. She felt sick from the taste, but had no choice. If he didn't see her eat or drink something he'd know something was up.

She picked up Angel's jacket from the back of her chair and walked into the hallway to collect something else.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

She came back in carrying a large umbrella. "I'm going to look for Willow and Xander. I can't leave them worried about me any more than I could with you."

"You can leave the umbrella behind. The weather has turned sunny again," Giles said.

He wiped his greasy hands on a piece of paper towel and waited for Buffy's reaction. He knew something was wrong with her. He could always tell when she was hiding something, this time he felt sure he knew what it was being hidden, but he needed her to tell him if he was right.

"Sunny," she half whispered and shivered.

Giles abandoned the remains of his breakfast and stood up. Alarm bells ringing loudly in his head. He checked the rubbish bin and discovered where her breakfast had really gone.

"Yes Buffy, sunny. Your favourite kind of weather," he said walking up behind her.

He offered her a piece of toast, he'd picked up from the table, and watched her face turn green. He threw the toast back down on the table angry.

"Buffy, why didn't you tell me you hadn't fully reverted? As your Watcher, I have a right to know!" Giles demanded.

Her anger that had stayed hidden for so long rose up."What did you expect me to say? 'Hi Giles, I've been taking this cure to speed up a reversion and become human again. A small part of me is still a

vampire, but I promise not to take you for lunch!'"

Giles was surprised at her sudden mood change.

"I needed you to trust me. If you'd known the truth, you would have run a mile. I wasn't sure myself until I looked in the mirror upstairs. I assumed everything else, the fear of sunlight, the not being able

to eat was just residual mental images of what I'd been through as a half vampire. Do you have any idea how terrifying that was!"

She momentarily paused for breath before continuing, "You want the truth,Watcher? FINE! I still crave blood, a tiny part of me is still an evil old vampire. I betrayed my friends and I don't even know why."

she said, her rage melting into tears. She wiped her eyes on her shirt hem and sat down at the table trying

to ignore him. Suddenly she felt very old and very tired and very much like giving up. It had all been so difficult, so dangerous, so exhausting. She couldn't keep fighting, she hadn't the strength any more. Angel had been her strength, but he wasn't there .

"You must be very hungry, Buffy. You haven't fed enough to complete your turning yet," he commented.

"Yes, I am so very hungry."

Then more loudly, "Giles get away from this place. Its not safe for you to be near you. Get as far from me as you can."

"Take me," Giles said.

"What?" Buffy said feeling confused, she turned her chair round until she faced him.

Giles had undone the top few buttons of his borrowed shirt, leaving his neck exposed. "Take me. Feed from me!"

"No way!" Buffy said firmly trying to ignore the sound of his blood pumping. Enough vampire instinct survived in her body to allow her to feed from him.

"I am older and wiser than you. Do as you are told!" he ordered.

"I remember you saying that before. When the Master was about to rise. I had to punch you out then to keep you alive, remember? Do I have to do it again?" Buffy asked, the thought of feeding from him

becoming almost too much to bear. She tried not to show her extreme hunger. tried to ignore it, but her 'party' face appeared against her will. Although it was not as pronounced as before.

"Its very easy, Buffy. Just a little bite on my neck is all it takes. You will live forever then. I'm useless to you, you are not a Slayer. What need do you have for a Watcher? Kill me, feed from me!"

It was too much for Buffy, she threw herself towards him. Stopping just inches away. Giles froze as he waited for her to decide. He hoped she wouldn't disappoint him. Just in case he reached into his pocket and felt the stake he had hidden there. If she bit him, then he wouldn't think twice about killing her. Her being his friend would make no difference. If Buffy was evil he would destroy her, he'd have no other choice. Its what she would have wanted.

Buffy leaned over his neck, her fangs brushed his bare skin.

He started to pull the stake from his pocket.

But Buffy didn't bite. She stood back and pushed his collar back in place.

Giles let the stake drop back into his pocket.

"No, thank you. I can't feed now, I've come too far. I'm so close to being me once more: the stupid kid with too much attitude who is always getting into trouble. I can't risk feeding, I can't go back to what I was. Next time I'd have even further to crawl back, without you to help me," she said quietly, trying to keep all trace of emotion from her voice.

She sat back down at the table and laid her head softly on its surface. She felt so very, very tired. It wouldn't hurt to close her eyes, not just for a moment. She was just drifting off when Giles whispered "Thank you," to her as he rebuttoned his shirt.

Some time later, Buffy yawned and dragged herself up from the table. She staggered and Giles flew over to help her sit down before she fell. He was watching her very concerned she noticed. Something

clicked at the back of her tired mind, Giles hadn't stopped her from trying to kill him. "You would have let me feed, wouldn't you?" she snapped.

She wasn't the only one getting angry."It is my fault you got turned in the first place!" he exclaimed."I sat in my library with my musty old books and left you out in Sunnydale alone. I abandoned you. I never even knew you were upset, until it was too late. I should have been there for you, I failed."

Despite the fact she was ill, Buffy stood up straighter instinctively. Trying to make herself look as daunting as she could. Slayer training coming through, intimidating her enemy. "Five nights ago, my Master hypnotised me and sent me to kill you. Angel was watching, that's how I know what happened to me. My Master sent me to the library, knowing you'd be inside. He wanted you dead so you couldn't help me. He twisted my mind until I wanted the same thing too. I would have carried out his orders and never looked back. Except when I got there, you were upset.

"Upset about me! Trying to help me. I couldn't hurt you. That's why I sent Angel in to take you away. My only hope was to stay away from you incase the hypnotism returned and check your books. I meant to hide all the ones that could have helped me. I found your Watcher diary about me. It was open at the extract about my turning and I kind of read it, not that I read other people's diaries as a habit! Anyway after I'd read what you said it hit me for the first time what had been done to me by my choice. I'd lost

everything, my friends, Watcher and become what I've feared ever since I was called up, I seem to be good at losing things that are important to me," she trailed off.

"And?" Giles pressed.

Buffy sighed, wishing she'd never started this conversation. "And I decided what I had to do. I had to find a way back to my old life. No matter what would happen, no matter what the risks, I had to try.

Even if I died it was better to be stone cold dead, than walking bloodsucking dead. I hid in the stacks and kept reading when you returned. When I tried to sneak away, well that part you already know. I'm sorry I hit you, but I had no choice. I couldn't allow you to stop me. I'm also sorry that I was so horrible to you when you got to Angel's flat. I realised if you hadn't found me at the Mausoleum it wouldn't have been possible.

I admit that I was depressed then, I kind of planned to get or at least try to get blood drunk. But that would have finished my turning and I'd be stuck as a vampire forever. So you see, Giles that I owe my life to you several times over. I will get through this, I HAVE to get through this!"

"Is this all true, Buffy?" he asked much calmer now.

She nodded weakly. "You must leave Giles, I can't promise your continued safety from me. I'm not the Slayer any more and I don't think I ever will be again. I know I've come a long way already, but can I really come the last part of the way? I don't think I have the strength or will power left.

"I'm so stupid. How could I allow myself to believe in reversion? I should have left Sunnydale and gone somewhere I'd never have been found. I'll never be the Slayer again, just plain Buffy the vampire.

Leave me alone Giles, you can't trust me!"

"Oh Buffy."He knelt in front of the chair and held her hands. "There is truly no hope for you. A few minutes ago I thought there might have been, but your chance has been lost forever. I am sorry, Buffy."

She stared at him and uttered the simple words he'd been waiting for: "Why is there no hope for me now when there was just minutes ago? I was meant to die last summer, but I survived! I have destroyed

countless prophecies, beaten countless unbeatable enemies, why do I have no hope?"

Giles had got Buffy just where he wanted her. Hook, line, sinker and fishing rod too, he thought.

"There was no hope as you had given up hope. You stopped believing in yourself. You could only do all those things before because you believed in yourself and your abilities. Are you going to believe

again or shall we give up now?"

Buffy smiled realising she'd been set up, "Why give up now? I always did enjoy impossible odds. Why do you trust me? I've tried to kill you. Surely you know I can't be trusted. I could kill everyone in this town."

"You can be trusted Buffy. You proved that to me when you didn't bite just now."

"What would you have done if I had bitten you?"

He ignored the question,"Shall we go?" he asked offering Buffy her jacket.

Buffy took the jacket from him and grabbed her watcher firmly by his arm to stop him leaving." I need to know Giles, what would you have done?"

He sheepishly took the stake from his pocket. "I'm glad you have that. Keep it in mind. One day you might have to use it on me." He nodded and put the stake back in his pocket. "Take this as well" Buffy

said passing him a small wad of tissue paper. He opened it to find her cross inside, sadly he put that in his pocket too.

"Well, where are we going?" she asked, pretending to be cheerful.

"The library. Willow and Xander said they would meet me there at 11 o'clock to see if I'd made any progress. I will take you to them, if you feel like going," Giles answered.

"I'm fine" Buffy lied.

Giles knew she had, "I have known you long enough to know when you are lying Tell me the truth please."

"Really, I'm all right for the moment. I'm not going to run off and kill anything just now," she said, making it clear that she might be soon. Her word was good enough for him. She knew her own condition better than he did. She pulled on her jacket and grabbed her school bag. Giles opened the back door for her to go first.

As soon as she got outside she saw that Giles had been right. It was very hot and very sunny. She froze and tried to shield her face with her arms. The sunlight burnt her skin and frightened her worse than anything she'd ever experienced before. The tips of her fingers started to smoulder. Was this it? Would she

die like this? Buffy wondered for the second time resently.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 15

Giles managed to bundle Buffy onto the back seat of a nearby car. He hot wired the connections and quickly drove her back to Sunnydale school. Buffy was feeling very weak. He could see it, so he put an arm around her waist in subtle support and helped her to the library.

As they reached the double doors, Buffy pulled away. "I have to do this myself. They won't believe I'm okay if you are half carrying me everywhere" she explained.

"Are you going to be okay, though?" he asked.

"I'm not gonna start feeding on my friends if that's what you think" Buffy answered.

"You know that's not what I mean" Giles said.

"I think I will" Buffy said quietly as she glanced through the grimy window.

"Is anyone there?" he asked.

She nodded,"Willow, Xander and Cordelia. They look bored. They must have been waiting for you for a while".

"Then we better not make them wait any longer" Giles commented.

Buffy backed away from the door. "I can't do this" she muttered.

"What is the matter?" he asked.

"I can't do this. I'm a vampire still. I can't prove myself to them, I'm still reverting. I got to get me out of here" Buffy answered looking around for a way of escape.

Giles grabbed Buffy's arm and pulled her towards the library."You have to. We can still help you to fully revert".

"You don't need me in the library while you are studying. Contact me at Angel's when you are done" she begged.

"I will not let you out of my sight again. Its too dangerous" Giles insisted. He firmly shoved Buffy through the doors. The Slayerette's shot to their feet nervously when they saw her.

She trod lightly on Giles foot to let him know that she was angry at him. "Hi Guys!" she said cheerfully, "I'm okay. No more Buffy the bloodsucker to worry about!".

Only Giles was close enough to hear her add quietly "I hope!".

"You expect us to believe that?" Xander asked, "You've probably turned Giles too!".

"Buffy could be telling the truth Xander. It is daylight out there," Willow interrupted.

"You remember, sunlight and vampire mixed together makes big piles of dust" Buffy reminded as she dumped her school bag on the floor by the table.

"No one wearing an outfit like that could possibly be undead" Cordelia added.

"That bad huh?" Buffy asked.

"Bad?" Cordelia exclaimed, "That is the latest LA fashion. How does someone like you get an outfit like that before a popular person like me?".

"My Dad felt guilty that he hadn't been able to have me over for a few weekends. Do you really like it?" Buffy asked.

"Its fashion, Buffy. What do you think?" Cordelia answered.

"You can borrow it" she said without thinking.

"WHAT! Wear something that a fashion retard like you has already worn? I'd rather been seen dating Xander. At least that wouldn't be as much of a public disgrace!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"Can I borrow the outfit?" Willow asked quietly.

"Of course you can Willow. I'd rather lend to it someone who's human. I wonder where aliens fall in my job description" Buffy said glaring at Cordelia. She tried to hold her anger in check. It was far too

dangerous, now more than ever, for her to lose control.

"Excuse me. Am I the only person with a problem here?" Xander asked, "She is a vampire. Thing that kills!".

"YES!" Giles, Willow and Cordelia said in unison.

Buffy sigh knowing that it was going to take a lot more to prove herself to Xander. She looked back at Giles. He nodded his understanding and handed her a large wooden cross. Buffy held the cross carefully, trying to make the least of its surface touch her skin. It frightened her more than it hurt. Fear she could

ignore and mask. The others would never know. She was weakening by the second, much longer and she wouldn't be able to control herself. By that time she needed to be far from the library. Hopefully with Angel. If she bloodlusted he would be the only one that could control her.

"I need them all back on my side if I am to keep them safe from my ...I mean the Master. He'll try to use them against me otherwise like before. No matter how much it hurts I have to prove myself. You

trust me, but they won't: not if they find out I'm still a half vampire." Buffy whispered to Giles as she handed him back the cross. Giles offered her a bottle of Holy Water, but Buffy shook her head and pushed it away. "I can mask pain, but not the burns that could cause," she explained.

"Why not Holy Water?" Xander demanded.

"Giles has ruined one dry clean only outfit with Holy Water already today. He doesn't want to pay two dry cleaning bills" she answered, but Xander wasn't convinced.

"Xander, why can't you believe Buffy? You can see she's not a vampire. She even held a cross!" Willow exclaimed.

"Buffy can be trusted, she has proved that fact" Giles told him.

"If Giles trusts her then his word is good enough for me," Willow said.

"But he might be a vampire too. They could have come up through the sewers or something. Maybe new vampires don't fear crosses!" he insisted.

"All vampires fear the cross Xander. Years of being the Slayer has taught me that crosses, stakes and vampires don't mix. A few days of me being a half vampire haven't changed that simple fact," Buffy

said quietly.

"I can answer this one once and for all!" Willow exclaimed.

"How can you do that?" Cordelia asked.

"Simple. What do vampires do to turn humans? They bite them. We can check Giles's neck for fang marks, if you insist on not believing them, Xander."

"That's a brilliant idea Will!" Buffy smiled.

"Do you mind?" Willow asked Giles as she walked up to him.

"Not if it helps to prove Buffy's innocence," he answered and undid his collar.

She stood on tip toe and checked both sides of his neck. "No sign

of any fang holes!" Willow said out loud.

Buffy was trying to keep her mind off Giles bare neck. Luckily he noticed this and buttoned up his collar quickly.

"Well, I can't see anything to prove that she is lying." Cordelia commented.

"No, there is something about her that isn't right." Xander insisted.

"Xander, do you know what the words 'early grave' mean?You are really starting to piss me off and believe me, you do not want to do that!" Buffy snapped.

"What more can Buffy do to prove herself, Xander?" Giles asked. He was worried about her. The vampire side could explode out if her temper grew much further.

Buffy pulled Angel's dagger out of the bag. She didn't know if this was going to work. She couldn't tell how her vampire side was gonna act. She hoped it wouldn't surface this time. Buffy was starting to feel really out of it. The room was starting to spin around her. Is this bloodlusting? she wondered. It hadn't

felt like this before when she'd been with Angel. She could hear all the human hearts in the room beating. Help me Angel! she thought terrified. She tried to pull herself together, it wasn't working. She could

hear Giles coming up behind her, he was asking if she was alright. She drew the knife and cut her arm, threw the weapon to Giles and then held the bloody arm to her face.

Buffy could feel herself turning into her 'party' face, but was powerless to stop it from happening. She saw Xander and Cordelia backing from her slowly. Pure terror flooded from their minds, she could feel

it.

"Why Buffy? Why did you lie?" Willow demanded."We would have still helped you!".

"Would you really? Would any of you have really helped me?" Buffy asked swirling round too look at them all. "Come on, would any of you really have helped me? Xander wouldn't trust me for a start and Giles has tried to stake me several times. Would any of you really trusted me if you'd know I was still a part vampire? Well would you! No, of course not: I'm the enemy! I'm what you sneak around in graveyards

at night to destroy. I didn't chose to be like this, I was forced... blackmailed into doing it. I don't want to be a vampire. I have tried everything to revert to being me again. Giles can tell you that I've nearly killed myself to try and change. But you don't care. None of you care one tiny bit about me, but just wait until the next monster comes along. You'll think I'm the best thing since sliced bread then! You'll expect me to come along all vampy and save your lives again.

"But guess what? I'm not going to. I'm not going to help any of you ever again. I'm going back to my Master. I'm going to partake in the blood feast and complete my turning. After all there is nothing left

for me to miss in my mortal life. For all I care you can all go to Hell. I'm finished. Its over. Get a new Slayer, a new so called friend to pop along and save your necks when needed. I quit!"

"Buffy?" Giles asked trying to comfort her.

She pulled away from him sharply. "Don't you start. Don't you dare start Giles. I won't take this from you. I'm sick of risking my life for a group of air heads and jerks! I have done everything for you guys and you throw it all back in my face. Well, not any more. I'm gone. Consider your Slayer in the ground

under a tombstone because you'll never see me again. I'm leaving Sunnydale and taking Angel with me. You'll never find out where I'm staying. Not that you'd even bother to look for me. I'm useless to you if I'm

not around saving your lives!"

"Give a message to your Watcher buddies for me Giles. If any of them dare send a Slayer after me they'll get her back in pieces. Very small pieces!" she exclaimed.

Xander threatened Buffy with a stake. She touched the end of the stake and plucked it from his hands. She rubbed the piece of wood between her hands until it was dust then she threw the dust over Xander. "Thank you Mr. Harris. You've just proved my point" she said. Buffy reached out and grabbed him round the neck. He looked scared. She cut a tiny slit in his neck with one pointed finger nail and smelt

the blood. It was a heavenly aroma. Just what Buffy needed to make her well.

She dipped one finger in his blood and waved it in front of his face. "Worried I'll feed off you?" Buffy asked,"Don't worry. I wouldn't take a piss ant like you!" She threw him against the wall and ran towards the library doors to freedom or death by sunlight!

Once outside Buffy didn't know what to do. She walked around the school until she got to the sitting area and flopped down on one of the soft chairs. Head in her hands. Giles had followed and sat down on a chair across from her. Waiting until she realised he was there. "Go away" Buffy whispered.

"I can not do that" he replied, "I told you I would not leave you. I never go back on promises. I never abandon friends".

Buffy looked up at him. "A friend? Me?" she asked, "Maybe you need a little reminder of what I am".

She held her hands in front of her face for a moment. When she took them away her vampy face had appeared. "I'm evil, I'm the enemy. I wish you'd kill me now and put me out of my misery. You wouldn't make an animal suffer the way I am." she said before allowing her vamp face to drop away.

"I can help you."

"I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone any more You'll stake me as soon as I turn my back on you" Buffy said, "If it comes to kill or be killed you don't stand a chance!" She looked at the streaks of Xander's blood on her hands, "This could make me well again" she muttered. Then she sighed and wiped her hands on the chair.

Giles offered his hand to her as he stood, "Lets go" he said softly.

"I'm not coming with you. I can't trust my friends just like they can't trust me. I'm going to find Angel, he is your only chance."

"He can not cure you, we can." he said calmly.

"But he is the only one that can keep you alive. If I bloodlust no one will be safe. I'm very close to bloodlusting a second time!"

"What happened the first time?" Giles asked.

"I nearly killed two drunken teenagers near the Bronze, Angel stopped me and made me come back

to my senses. I had no idea what I'd been doing, didn't remember. It was scary. I couldn't control my body, my vampire side had taken over completely. It was like Buffy Summers didn't exist any more I don't want that to happen again."

"Then come with me!" Giles insisted.

"I could kill you. I have no control over myself if I bloodlust. I won't be able to tell you from my next meal!"

"If you bloodlust I will lock you in the weapons cage until we can calm you down again." he insisted.

Buffy was about to take the hand he offered her up, but hesitated. "He told me I couldn't trust you. He told me you'd stake me if I gave you a chance. He told me you are evil."

"Who told you that?" he asked.

"My Master, he is calling to me. You have to hurry Giles, he is stronger than me. I am too weak to fight him." she said taking his hand.

Giles pulled Buffy onto her feet, she didn't have the strength left to stand on her own. "Are you going to trust me?" he asked.

"Only if you grant me three wishes" Buffy said.

"What do you wish for?" Giles asked.

"One, that you contact Angel and tell him I'm not gonna make our meeting tonight."

He nodded.

"Two, that you try and help me explain what is wrong with me to the gang. I know that will be hard, but I have no choice. And three if I become a danger to your life or anyone else's, you'll kill me."

"No!" Giles said firmly.

"Promise me!" she hissed, her vampy face reappearing.

"I will not agree to your third term." he insisted.

"Then give me the stake you've got hidden in your jacket pocket!" she demanded.

Giles pulled the stake out and offered it to her. "What are you planning to do with that?" he asked.

"If I feel myself slipping, I know how to use it." She sagged in his arms.

"Buffy?" he asked desperately.

"We really don't have long."

"How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy, weak. Tired,like I could sleep for a decade. I have another fever flaring up that feels worse than my last one."

"We had better get back to the library."

"Mm" she replied sleepily

"Hold on Buffy, I will find something to help you," he said swinging her into his arms so he could carry her.

"I know you will, you always do."

He waited until Buffy dozed off again before muttering "I wish I had your faith in myself."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 16

Giles kicked the library doors open and carried Buffy inside. He sat her down on a chair and shook her awake.

"What is she doing back here?" Xander asked angry over the fact she'd cut him.

"I haven't any choice, Xander. If I want to be cured I have to stay here. You need not worry about your blood. I'm too weak to stand let alone hurt you."

"How can we trust you?" Xander asked.

"How can I trust you ?" she countered.

"I'm not the vampire," he complained.

"Neither am I," Buffy responded, "At least not for much longer anyway."

"What do you mean, not for much longer?" Willow asked.

"Well I'm either gonna be human or dead or staked if I start to bloodlust.".

"I think we should trust her," Cordelia said quietly from the back of the room.

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"What?" Cordelia asked, "I do think we should trust her!"

"Okay, who body swopped with Cordelia?" Buffy asked.

"How are you feeling Cordelia? This is unlike you," Giles commented.

"Hey, I may not personally like Buffy much, but she's helped me out. Helped out all of us. Saved our lives and the whole of Sunnydale. We owe her some gratitude. If Giles trusts Buffy, I do too. And if

you don't like it Alexander Lavell Harris. Then you can leave!" Cordelia snapped.

Xander shut his mouth and just glared at Cordy.

"Fine, that's settled. Now there is something I have to explain about Buffy," Giles said.

Everyone sat down and waited for their next undead lesson.

"Buffy was given vampiric blood. Enough to make her appear as a vampire, but also enough to make her quite ill. The cure to her illness, her first victim. After that she would be a full vampire and lost to us. As Buffy has not killed so she has started to revert. She has dabbed in some things she should not have to try and speed that reversion up. This was partly successful. She appeared to be cured. She could hold a cross and was not harmed by Holy Water. This unluckily did not last. Buffy is still not cured and we must find something to help her revert before it is too late."

"Where's the 'but'?" Willow asked.

"Do you want to explain this part?" he asked looking at his Slayer.

"You are better at this sort of thing than me. I can add anything you miss."

"Very well," Giles said and went back to his explanation. "The 'but' is Buffy has a lot of vampiric blood left in her body. Enough to stimulate the feeding urge. If she drops to a point of illness where her vampire side feels it is in danger then it will take her over."

"Bloodlusting," she commented.

Giles nodded. "If Buffy bloodlusts she has no control over herself. Its not her you'll see, its a vampire. She does not mean to harm us, but in a bloodlust state she could do anything. If she bloodlusts

we knock her out and lock her in the book cage if we can. Now we are going to start researching. Anyone who is not comfortable with this situation can leave now."

"I'll help," Buffy said struggling to her feet.

"You are in no fit state to do anything. You will stay there and rest," he insisted.

"No, I want to help!" Buffy replied.

"You are my Slayer, you should in theory obey my instructions!" he snapped.

Buffy held a hand up to silence him and cocked her head as if she could hear something.

"What can you hear?" Giles asked, worried .

"My Master. He is close, in the sewers. He wants me. He is ordering me to hurt you." She shook her head, "Knock me out Giles." she begged.

"No," he said softly.

"Knock me out or you will regret it. My Master has power over me. Too much power for me to resist." Buffy was swaying and sweat was pouring down her face. Giles reluctantly drew back his fist to hit her, but before he struck Buffy passed out and slunk back down onto her chair.

"Stake her while we still have a chance" Xander said.

"Oh shut up Xander! We have been through this!" Giles snapped.

"I don't understand why her castings to speed up her reversion are making Buffy so sick," Willow commented.

Giles picked Buffy up and yet again carried her to the sofa in his office. The others followed at a 'safe' distance. A Watcher with a sick Slayer isn't some one you want to mess with! Giles put his jacket

under Buffy's head like a pillow and felt her temperature. It was very high, he tutted to himself sadly.

Angel shoved roughly past Xander to see Buffy.

"How did you get here in daylight, Angel?" Willow asked.

"Through the sewers, up into the school basement. Same way I brought the Codex," Angel answered, then to Giles "How is Buffy?"

"Very ill." .

"Oh Angel, isn't it terrible!" Cordelia exclaimed and clung to his shoulder.

Giles tapped Willow on her shoulder. "Does Cordelia know that Angel is a vampire?" he asked.

"Would she be clinging to him like that if she did?" Willow asked peering over at them.

"She should be told," he said.

"Leave Cordy alone, she's happy. What she doesn't know won't kill her," Xander whispered.

"Sorry, bad choice of words," he added as they both glared at him.

"Need some help?" a voice asked from outside.

They all turned round to see who had spoken. They saw a tall, slim girl wearing a long black cloak with the hood pulled tightly over her face. All they could see of the girl's face was peach lipstick

covered lips and a few poking out pieces of thick brown hair."You shouldn't be here. Its far too soon," Angel exclaimed as he recognised Siobhan.

"I know Angel, but I have to act now. There is no choice, without me the slayer will die."

"Who are you?" Giles asked.

"I am a friend of a friend in a manner of speaking." the girl answered, "I have been prophesied to help your Slayer in a great battle."

"How can I trust Buffy's life to you when I know nothing about you?" Giles asked, "For all we know you might be working for The Master!".

"You expect Buffy and her friends to trust you when they know next to nothing about you and your past. And don't say that's different because you are a Watcher! You know little about Angel yet you do trust him. You will trust me, because you have no choice" the girl answered.

"You can trust her Giles. I have known this girl for a while. I know she is human and that she will not hurt Buffy" Angel said trying to calm him down.

"If Buffy has a high risk of dying anyway, what harm can she do?" Willow asked.

"Willow here has a valid point, Watcher. If I'd wanted to hurt Buffy, well I could have done that many times before now. Like when she was hovering outside the library doors to tell you she was cured or when she had the fever and you fell asleep. I have helped Buffy before now and whether you like it or not, I

WILL help her now. She can't be allowed to die!" the girl insisted, "You don't know what's coming. I do, believe me Buffy must be cured now!".

Everyone started at Giles, waiting for him to decide. "What can we call you?" he asked.

"Hadn't really thought about that ...Kerry I suppose, its my middle name." she answered, "Thank's for trusting me, I know how hard that is".

"Like you said, I have no choice" Giles said."If you hurt her ..." he warned.

"I won't, I promise. I wouldn't dare cross an angry Watcher. I haven't a death wish, just yet" Kerry said.

She sat down at the table and started to unpack her small bag. A lot of items got pulled out of the impossibly small bag: a slender wand, chalks in every colour of the rainbow, several large leather bound volumes, a stake, a large bottle of Holy Water,a lipstick and a few bottles of dried herbs and strange items. Kerry spread them over the table top.

"A stake and Holy Water?" Willow commented, surprised to see such things in a witch's bag.

"This is a very dangerous town to be in even for a Witch, Willow. You must know that,you are a Slayerette" Kerry answered.

"How did you know that?" Willow demanded.

"I've had to keep an eye on Buffy ever since she first came to Sunnydale. I've been waiting and watching for things to happen. I have a list of events that have to happen before I can reveal my identity

to the Watcher in charge, and complete my destiny. Like I said, I shouldn't be here, but Buffy is so close to death and if the Master arises without a strong Slayer to fight him ...Well, I think you get the idea" Kerry said picking up a bottle Xander had carelessly knocked over.

"If Buffy dies now, I die with her. Our destinies are one until a single happening will break us apart. If Buffy does kill the Master I will be free. Then I can finally avenge the death of a close friend

of mine," Kerry finished.

"How did your friend die?" Cordelia asked.

"Vampires, how else! They brutally murdered him to try and get to me. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I hadn't died in his place!" Kerry sighed and tried to focus her attention back to

her bottles and jars.

Giles came over to ask what kind of spell Kerry planned and accidentally spotted the title of one of her books. He picked the book up and stared at it."My first book of spells and potions!" he exclaimed. He quickly picked up the others and read the titles off the spines, "Simple spells for the totally untrained witch, Encyclopedia of basic spells volume one and Purification symbols the first timer's A to Z!" Giles exclaimed.

Kerry shot upright in a fury, and ripped her books out of his grasp."I am untrained, okay? My teacher was killed before I could learn much from him. Since then all the training I've managed to get is through Ms. Calander's internet pagan websites. But the one thing I can do blindfold is heal. That was the first thing my Watcher taught me, so that if something ever happened to him, I would still be able to help Buffy. Even untrained I am still her only hope. You weren't this picky when you were casting to free Buffy from the Bloodstone vengeance curse!" she shouted.

Giles was a little put out by Kerry's outburst."Your Watcher?" he asked.

Kerry mentally kicked herself for mentioning her Watcher. How am I gonna get out of this one? she wondered.

"My friend and teacher was a retired Watcher. He trained my witch skills as he had past experience of such things. Don't pry in my past, its far darker and more dangerous than you can ever imagine!"

Giles decided to listen to her warning and backed off slowly. Kerry removed her cloak and wadded it up on the table so she could start work.

"What happened to us not knowing who you are?" Xander asked.

"We can see your face, so we'll know who you are next time we see you" Cordelia added.

"That's not what Kerry really looks like" Angel commented.

"Shape distorting device?" Giles asked.

"No. I found a form of identity masking spell. I can look like anything I want to. You don't realise it, but we have met several times before now, in many different places,when I've looked like many different

people. If I wanted to, then I could look like Buffy or even you Giles. I could be 5 foot 1 or 6 foot 2" Kerry explained.

"That's a useful trick,I wish I could do that" Willow said.

"I've had some fun with it" she admitted," I once spent a whole day looking like my best friend who was really at home with flu, so my ex-Watcher wouldn't find me and make me train! He can be, I mean used to be very tough on training. He had this idea that my every waking minute should be spent on practising and training. Now I think he might have been right".

"You mean with that spell I could spend the whole day looking like Cordelia?" Willow asked.

"Please! A fashion retard like you looking like me!" Cordelia complained.

"Not at first. It takes a lot of practise and power to hold that kind of glamour casting for more than a few moments. Before Buffy defeats the Master I may have to teach you all how it works." she answered

There was something about Willow that was niggling at Kerry. "Give me your hand please" she asked.

Willow did as she was told. Kerry held her hand gently and looked at the palm before letting Willow's arm go."You have great power, child. Maybe greater than I can tell. Have you ever done any spell

casting?" she asked.

"No, I've never used magic. You mean I could be a witch?" she asked excitedly.

"I think you could, but magic is not to be undertaken lightly. It is very powerful, if you are not strong enough to complete the spell or have not learned enough about the subject, then it could destroy

you. Willow, I want you to think long and hard before deciding if you want to learn magic or not. Unluckily I need you now to help Buffy. If I could keep you away from magic I would, it ruined my life."

"Will can be a witch, now that's funny!" Xander laughed.

Willow tried to hit him playfully, but Xander ducked.

"Can we please try and stay focused children?" Giles asked, "We have more important things to worry about, like BUFFY!"

"Sorry Watcher, I got carried away. Of course Buffy comes first. I just don't get time to hang with my fellow teens much, too busy training" she said.

"Kerry, you mentioned the Master and Buffy did too, but he is dead. We saw Buffy grind his bones into talc just a few weeks back. I thought he couldn't return without the blood of those close to him when he died. How is he back with out that?" Xander asked.

The group stared at him. "Good question" Willow said, "How come Xander thought of it first?".

"If this is going to be long or icky, can I leave?" Cordelia whined.

"You used to be trained by an ex-Watcher, Kerry. Did he mention anything that might help us? I can find nothing useful in my books," Giles asked, ignoring the others .

"My Watcher left me many useful things. What would you like to know?" Kerry asked, she hadn't been following much of the conversation.

"A way of the Master returning. Why he waited so long before coming for Buffy. Why he wanted to turn her into a vampire" Giles said.

"We know the answers to most of that" Angel spoke up, indicating himself and Kerry. "The Master found a way of placing part of his mind into a host vampire just before he faced Buffy and died twice."I and er ... Kerry, have been watching vampire activity for a while. The Master's host sickened and we believed him to be dead also."

Kerry turned away from her ingredients to continue with her part of the story,"While Angel was above ground helping you, I was deep under Sunnydale studying the vampires. The host was very sick, it

took him a long while to recover from the change of body and his other self dying, but unluckily for us he did recover. Then he started to find the group of his most trustworthy servants, the ones who knew what he had done. They were just waiting until they could serve him again. After that he planned a way to get to Buffy.

"He chose turning her, well I'm sure you can guess why, its the thing every Slayer fears the most. Becoming what they have fought for so long. I tried to stop her from being turned, but I just didn't have

the strength to break his spell over her. So I kept watching Buffy over the coming weeks, while the Master

continued to exchange her blood for his. I realised that this was meant to happen and our great fight was still to come. So I trained as hard as I was able, watched Buffy to make sure she wasn't staked, helped her secretly when I could, did everything I could think of, that would help any of us."

"What do you know about the great battle? I must know what Buffy is to face!" Giles demanded.

"NO!" Kerry answered. "I will tell you nothing about our battle. All you have to think about now is saving Buffy's life. There will be time enough for battle plans when she is out of danger. I have hesitated long enough, we must save her life. If you want to research,try translating the Codex." she snapped.

"I worked on translating the Codex all summer!" Giles exclaimed.

"Maybe, but you need the later parts translated very soon" Kerry warned, "They could save all our lives!". She gathered up her cloak, chalks, wand and breezed passed Giles and into his office.

"Willow, hurry!" she yelled a moment later.

Willow and the others dashed to the office. Buffy wasn't breathing. Kerry was trying to resuscitate her. Seconds later she pulled away from Buffy.

"Is she ...?" Angel asked.

"Buffy is alive, but barely. We haven't much time left" she answered, "Angel, take the others outside. I need room to cast over Buffy!"

Everyone left except Giles. He bent down to help Kerry gather up her chalks and things which she'd dropped after realising Buffy wasn't breathing. They both reached for the same piece of chalk ...

Kerry's hand brushed Giles's. She jumped back away from him and watched him warily, fingering a Celtic cross around her neck for prediction.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"You ... you can't be the Watcher. You are a warlock: I see a monster, an evil demon. Brought forth by you. I see its name ... Eyghon . It killed someone." Kerry stuttered. She was very frightened.

"I admit that I was once a warlock. My coven did call forth Egyon. I bear his mark," Giles said, he rolled up his sleeve to reveal a strange tattoo on his upper arm. "I was once all you just spoke of. I am not proud of those dark days of my youth. I prefer to pretend they never happened."

"Forced into your own fate. That's why you understand Buffy so well." Kerry commented.

"How do you know this?"he asked.

"I saw it all. Flashes from your mind when I touched your hand. I can sense other magic users. When I touch their bare skin, nothing can be hidden from me. Its how I knew that Willow has abilities, she

can become a great witch. But, I can't see what price she will have to pay for this. Everyone pays a price for their abilities. Egyon was your price, Watcher."

"What was your price?" he asked.

"The lose of a close friend. My fate, my destiny, my life. My abilities are to help the Slayer, once that is done I die. These next few weeks will be the last I see, I know that now." Kerry answered softly.

"No one can know when they will die. It does not work like that." Giles insisted.

"Maybe for you and the others,but not for me. I help Buffy kill the Master and I will die. It is written in black and white. My Watcher gave me the prophecy to read for myself. It was the only way I would believe him, I know my fate to be true. I just don't know how I die. I hope it isn't too painfully," she whispered, her voice tight with emotion.

"Buffy was prophesied to die once, but she is still here" he commented.

"She died for two minutes. Xander brought her back with CPR."

"It maybe you 'die' for just two minutes as well."

"No, its not like that. I die for good. There is no chance of wrongful interpretation. When I heard about the prophecy I spent months studying all the possible texts. I could find nothing to help me."

"When Buffy is better I will help you research all the texts once more," he promised.

"Thank you, Giles." she said, gathering up the last of her chalks, "Can you fetch me the willow wand I left on the table?"

As Giles turned to leave Kerry called after him softly, "The others. They don't know what you are, do they?".

"No, they do not and I would like to keep it that way."

"I won't tell them. If you keep my secret, I'll keep yours." she promised.

Giles nodded and left to fetch the wand. Kerry watched him go. "You won't be able to help me Watcher. I will die. Even you can't save me, although I wish you could. Shamas will never been avenged if I die!" she muttered.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 17

Giles soon brought Kerry over her willow wand. "What type of casting are you thinking of?" he asked.

"I'm not totally sure which would be best, her condition is far more advanced than I expected. I do remember Shamas teaching me a special purifying spell, which might work. Unluckily it calls on more magical

ability and control than I have. Buffy is so ill now; she shouldn't have become this bad, so quickly. I have no idea what to do really, the prophecy should have picked someone better than me for this task." she said.

"The Powers That Be, knew what they were doing when they picked you. You should have faith in them." Giles commented.

"I do, but I'm scared I'll make a mistake that could kill her and us. I don't have the skill I need!" she admitted.

"Just because I have no interest in practicing the dark arts now, does not mean I have lost my abilities. I used to be one of my coven's stronger warlocks." he commented.

"With your permission, I can test how strong you are" Kerry said.

He nodded and held out his hand.

She grasped his hand and closed her eyes. What she saw first of all was flashes of Eyghon and Giles as a youth with his fellow witches and warlocks. Painful memories for him. "Concentrate on a spell you cast. A powerful spell. Anything but Eyghon. Results of spells can tell me nothing about your abilities." she whispered.

Her body felt a long way away, she was in danger of losing herself in the Watcher's memories, they were so violent, so overwhelming. Abruptly the images around her changed.

She saw a youthful Giles casting basic spells.

A present day Giles casting over Buffy in the science lab. The Bloodstone Vengeance Curse, there was Katherine Madison.

And another standing by a computer reading aloud Moloch's binding spell with Ms. Calendar.

A much older Giles casting strong spells she could hardly pick out.

She could feel Giles getting snippets of her own past.

Training with Shamas.

Her first spells.

Turning Shamas into a puppy.

Months of studying old texts to discover a way out of her fate.

Vampires attacking her and feeding on Shamas.

Her Watcher's final breaths in her arms. His blood covering her clothes.

Standing at the side of his grave, placing the last flowers she could before leaving to go to Sunnydale.

Further back when she was on the streets.

Before that, her mother throwing her out of the house.

Diving into her future: her dead body in a coffin.

Her own funeral.

Back to the past, the night she first discovered vampires were real, the night she found out what she really was. What she could do...

Kerry severed the connection before Giles discovered her more dangerous memories. She didn't want him finding out too much about her this early on. Once she was totally back in her own body she opened her eyes. "What did you learn about me?" she asked.

"Quick flashes of you with Shamas. Early spells. Little else. Who were the vampires that attacked you?" he asked.

"The Death Bringers. Don't ask. They are far too powerful for a normal butt kicking witch to handle alone."

"Did you learn what you needed to about my power?" he asked.

"You are very powerful, but not enough. We will have to use Willow's hidden talents as well. I know a way of masking what she does with us to stop her from remembering or learning things she shouldn't. I'll have to do it later, but should work!"

"You are not happy about having to include Willow, are you?" he commented.

"No I'm not. Magic ruined my life. I don't want it harming her teenage years. She is too young to carry the responsibilities that come with such abilities!"

"You are no older than her." Giles replied.

"You picked up too much from my mind!" she snapped. "I wanted you to see nothing of me, guess I need practice. I had no choice. Destiny over rules free thought."

"I thought only Slayers had stone carved destinies and even they can be changed. Buffy proved that. Who are you really?"

"No more delays. Buffy is too weak to last much longer." Kerry said,

Ignoring his question.

"You can change your fate" Giles insisted.

"And what will the cost be? Buffy's life? Yours? Everyone in Sunnydale?" she asked, "I won't take the risk. I have learned to live with my destiny, even though I don't like it."

"What will Shamas's casting take?" he asked.

"Strong witch abilities, covered. Chanting, symbols and a few magical herbs. The combined strength and good wishes of all her friends." Kerry muttered.

"Her friends?" Giles asked.

"Buffy needs a reason to live. Her friends are her reason. She needs them; I need their bond to her. Strangers would make the casting likely to fail." Kerry explained, "I don't understand it all myself to be

honest!"

He looked at Buffy's unconscious, hardly breathing body. "Do we have time?" he asked.

"I hope so!" she answered, "For now, I can stabilize the body. Give us a little more time".

"Do it!"

Kerry nodded and draped her cloak over Buffy. Taking a pink chalk from the desk she drew a large Lin/Lang sign on the cloak above Buffy's chest.

"Lin and Lang. Eastern symbol of peace, harmony and balance. I beseech thee to help me. Daughter of Dianna, practicer of the old ways and dark arts, helper to all in need, protector of the innocent." she called holding up the wand.

The Slayerettes came in the doorway to watch what was happening. The sign on Buffy glowed for a moment, then faded again. Kerry sighed tossing aside the wand in irritation, "Lin and Lang I beseech thee once more. Help me, your humble slave to save this child. The Chosen One, Slayer of evil, protector of the human race, Sister to me!"

Still nothing happened. Giles touched her arm gently; "The casting will not work Kerry, save your strength for later. We'll find another way"

She shook his hand away. "For the third and final time I beseech thee to help me. Bring your power to this girl. She is the Slayer. She is the Chosen One. Without her we are doomed for all time! Rid Buffy of her sickness. Re-balance her soul so evil can not consume her once more. Remove the blood that sickens her. End her suffering. I command you to obey my call!"

She took the jar of golden powder she'd used the night before and sprinkled it over Buffy from head to toe. Using up the entire container, normally enough for a hundred spells. Finally the chalked sign started to pulsate with energy of its own. Glowing an intensely vivid pink. "Thank you" she whispered.

"What went wrong?" Angel asked.

"The spell wasn't strong enough. All that Shamas taught me and he couldn't get one single spell powerful enough for me to use alone against this evil!"

"How long do we have?" Giles asked.

"An hour, at most," Kerry answered, "Explain to the others what must be done please. I doubt they'd listen to me"

Giles nodded and left.

"This isn't going to work is it?" Angel asked.

"I don't think so, she is so far gone. I may be too late" she whispered.

"Is it true?" Willow asked from the doorway.

Kerry looked up at her, she hadn't known that anyone was there. Her skills were slipping! "It might well be, we have to try though. I can't give up on her. Not now."

"Why is Buffy so important to you?" she asked, "We're her friends, not you. She doesn't even know you!"

"Because if she dies, I die. And you die, Angel dies, Cordelia dies, and Xander, Giles and everyone else in the world. The Master will destroy everything. Turning it back into his own Hell world. Unless you

have level 5000-sunburn cream, forget it! Buffy was born to be the Slayer. I was born to protect her. That's

all I have to do in life. Once this battle is over, I'm free. Wouldn't you want to be free too, Willow?"

"I guess so, Giles sent me to tell you that we've all agreed to help in the casting." she answered.

Kerry walked into the library. "Are you really all agreed to doing this?" she asked, "This is no picnic. It will drain your life force, leaving you badly weakened."

Giles nodded. "I am Buffy's Watcher, I would do anything for her!"

"She's my best friend" Willow said.

"What Will said. It wouldn't be the same without her." Xander added.

"I kind of owe her," Cordy muttered.

"I have to, I can't let her die!" Angel whispered.

Kerry nodded understanding. She had spent little time with the Slayer herself, but she'd seen enough to understand how special she truly was.

"Your books?" Giles asked, offering them.

"I don't need them. I have crammed this casting for years. Burning it into my every synapse, I could do it in my sleep" she replied dropping them back onto the table. Selecting three identical bottles of dried herbs from her pile on the table. Giles smelt one and studied the contents carefully. "Its nothing that will harm her!" she said taking it back, "My teacher used it several times. It always worked!"

He nodded an apology and moved away, giving her room to move. He remembered how difficult such spells were. Calling on demons, like Eyghon, was simpler, even though the outcome was so much more dangerous.

"Firstly we must prepare for the spell. Purify the room and make things ready. I will need help." Kerry said.

"We await your command." Angel replied.

The young witch sighed, she'd been hoping to delay things a little longer. She wasn't ready to channel this kind of power. Prophecy be damned if she died too soon! "Xander, clear the table. We'll need to place Buffy there for the ritual. Angel keep an eye on the Slayer until we're ready. Willow, move all the chairs to the edge of the room. Giles, start cleansing the room. You'll find sage, holy water and salt in my bag."

They set to work, so Kerry gathered up and bagged all the unneeded bottles. Once the table was cleared, Angel brought Buffy over and gently laid her on the table, arms protectively across her chest. The cloak draped over her body. Giles's jacket under her head. "How many protection charms do you think we'll need?" she asked Giles.

"As many as we have time for, they can't hurt!" he answered.

Kerry nodded, pulling dozens of items from her bag as the gang lined up for their next orders. She gave Xander a pair of scissors. "Hang these above the door, hanging open. They will cut off any negativity

trying to enter the room."

Giles picked up four little bags of mixed herbs and sniffed them. "Mint Rosemary and? I can't quite make out that last herb."

"Angelica. Place a bag in each of the four corners of the room, roughly. It doesn't have to be perfect."

Willow picked up the can of salt and started to pour a protective circle around the table.

"When do we start the casting?" Angel asked impatiently, "She's getting weaker all the time!"

"As soon as the room is prepared," Kerry snapped, "This isn't a Wiccan glamour or floating feather exercise, its dangerous, very much so. If we start without all the proper protections for us and her, it

could backfire and kill all of us!"

"I just feel so useless," he admitted, "Most of these things I can't touch!"

She pulled eight thick church candles from her bag and a small pen knife. "Carve her name into the candles and them place them around the table."

"Full name?"

"Just Buffy should do."

He nodded and started to carve."Mr. Giles, do you have any matches?" Kerry asked, "I can't find mine." A hand peered round the office door and threw a large box at her. "Thanks!" She knelt on the floor, a wooden bowl in front of her, sprinkling dried herbs into it gently.

"What are you doing?" Xander asked, standing behind her.

"Blessing the room. The more layers of protection I can lay down, the safer we'll all be. Although I have to admit, I'm not sure if there are enough charms in the world!"

Xander smiled, "It'll work."

"I wish I could be so sure!"

"Don't worry, it'll work perfectly."

"You don't know that, you don't have the gift of prophecy. Only she does." she nodded towards the table at the Slayer.

"I do know that. This is Buffy, nothing can hurt her. As long as the gang's saddled up and ready to go, everything will be all right!"

"What herbs are you using?" Willow asked.

"Everyone in my volume on house blessings!"

Angel glanced up at Kerry, concerned.

"Don't worry, I've missed out the garlic." Kerry reassured.

"Isn't garlic versatile!" Xander joked, "Does it keep parents out of your way as well? It seems to do that with everything else."

"Do you have enough herbs?" Giles asked, as he placed the last bag by the door.

Kerry nodded, "I got a job lot at the Magic Box. I hope we won't need anything else before they get a chance to stock back up." She mixed the herbs together with her finger tips listing the contents

as she went, "Angelica, basil, bay, laurel, camphor, cinquefoil, cowslip, elderflower, figwort, mandrake, orris, pine, plantain, rosemary, rowan and rue."

"You missed lavender and orange peel." Giles commented, dropping them in.

Kerry pulled a small wax figure of a cobra from her pocket and dropped it into the strange smelling concoction.

"Who are you summoning?" Giles asked.

"Renenutet."

"She was a cobra headed goddess in Egyptian mythology. Protector of the household and home." Willow explained to Xander.

"Renenutet, goddess and protector. I call upon you to bless our home. Bless the library, bring you gift to us. Prepare this area for workings of great and powerful magic!" Kerry chanted.

Giles lit a match and dropped it into the bowl. Purple smoke appeared for a few seconds and the contents burnt into a fine ash. The smell was terrible. Xander made a point of holding his nose.

"That's pleasant compared to the protection ones in a few minutes." Kerry commented.

"Can I do anything?" Willow asked, watching Angel set out the candles.

"Burn the packet of dried apple peel in the china bowl, and place it on Buffy's chest."

(Eagerly Willow set off on her fresh task.)

"Okay," Kerry muttered to herself as she worked, " Sixteen years old, so sixteen herbs for the Slayer's safety."

"That's a lot!" Angel commented.

"Plus one for each of the casters." Giles reminded.

"Angelica, asafetida, basil, bay laurel, boneset, cinnamon, cloves, comfrey, coxcomb, fennel, holly, horehound, hound's tongue, ivy, mandrake and marigold for Buffy.

"Nettle, rosemary, rue, sage, slippery elm and solomon's seal for us!" Kerry muttered mixing the fresh set of herbs.

She was right, the smell given off when this set burnt was far worse.

Kerry plucked six more of the large church candles from her bag and placed them on the table. Next to them she placed six white robes of different sizes.

"Is that a TARDIS?" Xander asked.

Kerry smiled at him. "Sort of." she answered dropping back inside all the things she wouldn't need.

"Robes?" Giles asked picking one up.

She glared at him, "You of all people should know how important such traditions are!"

Willow handed them out and put the spare two on the table. "Where is Cordelia?" she asked.

( She'd sneaked off to go shopping as Willow had laid the salt circle, but everyone had been too busy to notice.)

"Typical!" Kerry muttered. She concentrated on doodling runes on her note pad and whispering strange words. She looked up at Willow, "She'll be back soon, don't worry!".

Giles took the candles and spaced them around the salt circle. Making sure that each one had exactly the same amount of space between them.

"Am I the only one who feels an idiot?" Xander asked after he'd put on his robe.

"Guess so" he muttered when he got ignored.

"Xander, Shh" Willow whispered.

"Buffy looks worse" Angel reported.

"Then it is time, we have no choice now. The casting must start right away!" Kerry said.

Giles was flicking through one of the girl's books. "This says that six people are needed to forge the connection."

"There will be a sixth person in ten seconds time, Mr. Giles!" Kerry exclaimed annoyed. He was getting worried about Buffy, he must have realised that she had little hope of surviving too.

Exactly ten seconds later the double library doors flew open and Cordelia stormed in. "Okay, who's idea of a sick joke is this!" she demanded. Her skin was a pale green and her nose had grown long and crooked like a fairy tale crone.

"You agreed to join with us and then broke your word. This is the price you pay. Without you, Buffy will die!" Angel exclaimed.

Kerry offered her the final robe silently. Cordelia reluctantly pulled it on. "When will this stuff disappear?" she asked.

The young witch gave her the top sheet from her notebook. "Burn this over one of the candles near Buffy and the spell will be broken" she said, "But hurry we must start now".

Cordelia grabbed the paper and stormed away from her, the others followed.

Angel hung behind. "You seem nervous," he commented.

"I am nervous, Angel. What if this goes wrong?" she demanded, "I'll die here too and the Master will arise unharmed and unchallenged!"

"The prophecy wouldn't speak of the fight of the joined slayers' then, would it?" he asked.

"I guess not," she muttered.

"Kerry!" Giles shouted.

"That doesn't sound promising" she said, grabbing her ingredients and rushing over to the table.

Buffy was thrashing around wildly. "Hold her down!" Giles shouted. It took the combined strength of him, Angel, Xander and Willow to do so. Cordelia dithered at the side unsure what to do. Kerry pushed

in and forced a milky white liquid down Buffy's throat.

Seconds later, her fit subsided; leaving her pale and lifeless. "Quickly,

form a circle around her. Boy, girl, boy, girl" Kerry said, finding some matches to re-light the candles which had been blown out. She hoped that the Watcher had explained each person's part in this spell

to them carefully enough, there wasn't time to do it now.

Giles held up a spare candle to start the spell. "I call on the four Elemental's to help me in this dark time. Firstly I call on fire Elemental's and beseech them to aid me." He placed the candle at Buffy's feet.

Kerry picked up a bowl of water. (Angel had prepared many items for her while she'd been busy!) "Secondly I call on the water Elemental's and beseech them to aid me". She placed the bowl next to the candle.

Giles picked up a bowl of soil. "Thirdly I call on the earth and nature Elemental's and beseech them to aid me". He placed the bowl on the floor.

Kerry picked up the final bowl, this one was empty. "Finally I call on the Elemental's of the air and beseech their aid".

Giles held out his hands and they held the bowl between them. "Come on!" he hissed to Willow.

Nervously she took hold of her part of the rim. She was to start this part of the chanting. "I have called on all four Elemental's now and beseeched their aid in this darkest of dark times," she whispered.

"To you we give this offering." Giles said. He let go of the bowl and pricked his finger with the dagger Angel passed him. He squeezed the cut, allowing the blood to drip into the bowl.

The dagger was passed around the circle until all six had given blood. Kerry pricked one of Buffy's fingers and mixed the blood together. "Our offering is ready for you. We await a sign from you to show your

support." she said placing the bowl on Buffy's chest covering the chalk sign from before.

"What happens now?" Cordelia asked in a whisper.

"We wait for a sign, I guess." Willow answered.

"Come on, come on!" Kerry whispered worried.

"How long will this take?" Giles asked.

"I don't know, our call could be refused. This is the risk you take with Elemental magic!" she whispered back.

"I remember," he sighed.

"I can't believe we are messing around with magic, looking what happened to Amy and her mother!" Xander complained.

"Unbeliever!" Willow shot back.

"Who'd believe in this rubbish!" Cordelia complained.

"Have you forgotten the reason we are doing this?" Angel said with his usual calm attitude, "Buffy is dying!"

"Sorry!" came five whispered voices.

All the electric lights went out in the school, leaving just the candles burning. Kerry peered out the window, everywhere else had power. "Ladies and Gentlemen. I think we have our sign!" she said

softly.

"What next?" Cordelia asked.

"I have to call on Janus. He of the two faces. Male and female. Good and evil" she answered.

"Calling on that power is dangerous" Giles warned, "It is used mainly for evil. He could take you as payment!"

"You think I don't know that? Nothing else has the power to do what we need," Kerry asked trying to keep the fear from her voice, and not doing very well. Placing an amethyst pendant around her neck.

Angel disappeared out the door and brought in a small kitten in a tiny box.

"This is our sacrifice. A living soul is needed to grant life for another living soul. It's the only way," she said.

"But it's so cute!" Willow objected.

"It's dying anyway. Its mother was run over by a car, he still needs her milk. Won't take to bottle feeding and is too weak to survive much longer. At least now its death has meaning!" Kerry insisted.

"Is it really the only way?" Willow asked, looking at Giles.

"Yes Willow, I am so sorry." he answered.

She gave the kitten back to Angel.

Kerry took up her place at Buffy's feet again. "I call on thee Janus; thee who has done harm to so many. You must grant me a favour, help me save this girl and I will give you a life in return. Show me a

sign if you are willing to trade. Her life for a life of my choosing!" she asked sprinkling unknown herbs on the flames of the fifteen candles. The flames burned purple for a moment, then returned to normal. The young witch crossed her fingers and waited. A single clap of thunder crashed overhead in a perfectly clear sky.

Angel stepped forward and slit the kittens throat, letting the blood spill into the bowl on Buffy's chest.

"Forgive me." Kerry muttered to the kitten.

Angel took the body outside and placed it in a bag.

"This is the life I promised you Janus, it has been freely given. Uphold your end of our deal and help this child," Kerry said. Muttering every word of protection she knew under her breath to ward off any

curses from Janus if he felt cheated that it wasn't a human life.

A second clap of thunder showed his willingness to help.

"He excepted?" Giles exclaimed surprised.

"I guess I was lucky," Kerry said, "Either that or he fears the coming battles as much as we do!"

"Buffy is looking healthier already!" Xander commented. He was right, her face was already starting to get a healthy pink tint.

"This isn't over yet," Angel said.

Kerry picked up the bottle of milky liquid that she'd given to Buffy. "Everyone drink a small amount of this." They all did, although some of them more reluctantly than others. When it came back to the young

witch, she took a sip, poured some over Buffy's lips and the rest into the bowl of blood. Many different types of herbs followed and some strange looking items, Giles helped with the mixing.

Willow started chanting magical words which they all joint in with.

"Gothess, Valoth, Coreen, Barteck, Koth, Mortess, Rovous, Jeghof, Pell, Amream, Lenteen, Gothess, Calmeal, Yagedeen, Vartoff, Sonnessa, Carneve!"

In one voice they chanted the words faster and faster each time, until they could chant no more. Each person took a handful of dried herbs from the three bottles. The mixture glowed with power in their hands.

"Buffy be free!" Kerry shouted and they all threw the herbs over the sleeping Slayer.

The spell over, everyone looked around feeling embarrassed at what they'd been doing. All feeling totally exhausted, especially Kerry and Giles.

"Did it work?" Xander asked.

Kerry nodded weakly, "She is cured completely. Once she awakens she will be plain Buffy, the vampire slayer again. Firstly she will sleep for many hours while the body is repaired. You'll be lucky if she

wakes before sunset. I can't believe she actually survived the cure though!"

"Was she that bad?" Angel asked, helping to collect all the items from the casting and drop them back into her bag.

"Leave the candles burning" she advised, "And yes, Buffy was really bad! All of you should rest, that must have taken as much out of you as it did me."

Giles touched her shoulder, "Thank you for everything. I am sorry I was reluctant to believe in you."

Kerry looked up at him. "I knew you'd be reluctant before I came here. If it had been easier, I would have known you weren't her real Watcher. I understand how much the Slayer means to you. All Watchers

are the same" she said, smiling to herself as if she was talking from personal experience.

"What are you?" he whispered.

"Someone special. A lot more than I seem. Someone you'll meet again before this is over, I promise you that," she whispered back.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I can't tell you, not yet. I'm sorry."

"I won't pretend to understand you, I am just grateful for all you have done here!" he said.

"Listen carefully Watcher. In a few days I will be back here. We will both be training Buffy for this battle. She'll need magical skill as well as fighting if she has a hope of survival. This will be a fight to the death. Although who's death, Buffy or the Master, I can not see. Please be careful until then. And um ... Beware an unwanted visitor at sunset. Please don't ask, I shouldn't have warned you at all," Kerry said quickly.

"Why all this secretive nonsense?" Giles demanded.

"Because I'm a puppet of fate. My strings are being pulled elsewhere. I have to play by certain rules. Like the Watcher's Council pull your strings, force things on you, and will again. The same is true about me." she answered.

"The Watcher's Council are commanding you?" he asked.

"I can not say any more," she insisted, "I must go!" She grabbed her bag and ran.

"I have cheers practice, sorry," Cordelia said following.

Giles sat in his office to watch over Buffy. The others curled up in chairs and slept.

A few minutes later, Giles also fell asleep leaving Buffy alone with no guard. She tossed restlessly. A voice was calling to her. An evil voice.

"You are still mine, Slayer. I am coming!" it whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 18

Angel was the first to wake, just before sunset. He woke the others quickly, wondering what the danger was Siobhan had warned of. Giles immediately checked on Buffy, but she was still sleeping. "Remember what Kerry said?" Angel warned, "Beware of visitors at sunset!"

Giles nodded and opened up the weapons cupboard at the back of the book cage. He armed everyone with crosses, Holy Water and stakes. Carefully he placed two crossbows and other supplies in different places around the room, ready for any attack. Their visitor could only be a vampire now, one that wanted to get Buffy back and force her to allow complete vampiric turning.

Suddenly, while they were still preparing, the doors flew open and the Master stormed in. Willow and Xander ran in front of the monster, holding out crosses, trying to block his way. Angel took advantage

of the distraction to attack from behind. The Master reached behind him and grabbed the vampire. He threw

Angel towards the nearest wall and shoved passed the teenagers, ignoring the burns he got from their crosses.

Giles stood in the doorway to the office holding out a much larger cross. Barring the way to the sleeping Buffy. He wouldn't allow her to be hurt again by the evil creature. The Master picked him up and flung him away like a rag doll. He stood before Buffy and pulled the crystal from his pocket.

"Keep away from her!" Giles shouted, as the others helped him to his feet.

The Master ignored them all. He waved the crystal in front of Buffy's face and ordered her to awaken. Instantly she opened her eyes and stood, her vampiric face having returned.

"We went through all that magic for nothing!" Willow exclaimed.

"Hypnotism" Giles explained, "She believes that she still is a vampire and therefore she will appear as such. If she is allowed to feed, the turning will be completed. We need to break his control over Buffy's mind without hurting her."

"What's the plan?" Xander asked.

"Full force attack?" Angel suggested.

"I have no idea" Giles admitted.

"Make it up as we go then!" Xander muttered.

"Good plan!" Willow said sarcastically.

"Should be, its our normal one!" he replied sharply.

The Master hadn't realised what they were up to. He was talking to Buffy still, with the crystal. "Buffy you are hungry" he whispered, "There are three mortals in the next room. They are your ex-Watcher

Giles and your ex-friends (Willow and Xander) . You will feed from and kill all of them, starting with the Watcher!"

"Yes, my Lord Master. I obey" Buffy answered.

She advanced towards her watcher. He backed away from her slowly. "Stop Buffy!" he exclaimed., to his great surprise she obeyed.

"Yes Watcher. Any last words?" she asked.

"Buffy, you are not a vampire, the Master is controlling your mind!" he replied.

"My Master would do not such thing. He treats me like a princess. You are the one trying to control my mind!" she exclaimed, "You are the one who lost me my friends and my life. You are the one who never lets me have any fun. You are the one who must die! I shall have my revenge!" Buffy answered.

Giles edged further away. He tripped over something and fell to the floor. Glanced around to see what the object was. Buffy's school bag and a tape had fallen out. He recognised it and a plan started to

form in his tired mind.

Jumped up and threw the tape to Willow. Who caught it wondering what he expected her to do. "Play it, quickly!" he insisted. Willow was confused, Giles wanted his death put to music? Nevertheless she did as she was told, he had to have a reason.

Xander helped her pull out the small stereo from under the table that Buffy used in her practise's. It was heavy, but they managed to get it onto the table. She rammed the cassette in and punched play.

Buffy's old cheerleading music blared through the library. The sudden noise distracted the Master's concentration, leaving Buffy confused. She looked around trying to work out what was going on. Giles took advantage of this distraction and threw two round cushions at his Slayer. She caught them instinctively. "Dance, child!" he ordered, trying to make his voice sound like the Master's.

"Yes my Lord Master" she whispered and started her cheers, ignoring everyone else in the room.

"Stop this nonsense. Kill them!" the Master roared.

She was torn between which order to follow. Giles motioned the tape to be stopped. He couldn't risk harming Buffy's mind. As soon as the music finished she started advancing again, dropping the cushions.

Angel grabbed her arm firmly to stop her. "Listen to me. Somewhere in your brain is a part still free of the Master's control. I know that Buffy can hear me, she is our friend. The Buffy who slays vampires

and fights evil. The Master is evil, try and break free from his control!" he begged.

It didn't work. She removed his hand and advanced even quicker. Giles waved him away. "As her Watcher I should be able to convince her."

"Was my Watcher you mean. Why should I believe a word you say? Why should I trust you?" she spat.

Giles backed away and hit the table edge. He looked around desperately for a way out. Willow and Xander dived in front of him holding out crosses. Even a hypnotised vampire should fear them they figured,

wrongly. She slapped the crosses out of the hands and kicked them across the library, shoving the two of them away from her prey. "You are next. Don't go far!" she warned.

Buffy grabbed Giles's neck and squeezed it tightly. "Goodbye Watcher. See you in Hell!" she whispered and bent to bite his neck.

Just as she was about to bite, Angel shoved the distracted Master and ripped the crystal from his hands. Angel looked at it for a moment wondering what to do. Then smashed it on the floor, hoping it would

break the control.

Buffy blinked, she shocked to find her hands around her Watcher's throat and even more so that she'd been about to bite him. "What am I doing?" she whispered to herself.

"You were under the Master's control. He was controlling your mind, sending you to kill us," Giles said hoarsely.

Buffy stared at him, "But he is dead. I killed him!" Then the events of the last few weeks came back to her. "Cross body mind transference. Classic B-movie stuff!" she muttered.

"Could you let go please?" he gasped.

"Oh, sorry" she answered, not realising she still was and released him.

"Where is that evil, scum sucking monster? I'll rip him into tiny little pieces and feed them to his servants for this!" she exclaimed

Giles rubbed his neck gingerly and pointed behind her.

"So, there you are, My Master? Yeah, right, you could only rule those brainless undead freaks. Everyone else would see you for what you really are, a pathetic, useless piece of undead filth!" She turned to face her prey, "Giles get everyone out of here this won't be pretty! I don't want you getting hurt". She dived at the vampire, not waiting for a reply or weapons! "No one controls my mind!" she shouted, pure hatred in her voice.

"Stop, you can not hurt your Master!" he warned.

"Can't hurt you?" Buffy asked, "You made me attack my friends. Twisted my memories and used them against me. Even worse, you tried to make me a vampire. I'm gonna kick your butt into the next world and beyond!"

"The Watcher has confused you, child. Try to remember the tortures he put you through. How he ruined your life with the constant training. Made you miss dates, stopped you from seeing your friends. Made you miss so many classes. Put everyone you care about in danger!" he tried desperately.

Buffy stared at Giles for a moment and then shifted her eyes back to the monster. "Yes, my Watcher did do all that you spoke of. I admit that at times I hated him for who he was and what he did. When I moved here I never wanted to see another Watcher or vampire in my entire life. Now I understand why he did it all. It wasn't because he had to, it was because he cared enough to do it. He was just trying to keep me safe and help me live a little longer. After all we've been through I trust him with my life and the

lives of my friends. I am proud to have him as my Watcher and I won't throw all that way on a lousy vampire like you, who's best skills are temporary mind games!" she snapped.

"Listen to me!" the Master insisted.

"Oh, shut up. I've had enough of your hypnotism crap. Didn't your sire ever tell you that Resistance is Futile?" Buffy asked attacking. She was still weakened from the spells and wasn't putting as much power into her moves as she would have liked. The Slayer glanced around for her friends. Giles had dragged everyone to the outer door where they'd be safe.

After just a few minutes of fighting Buffy was weakening. Getting nowhere fast. She was pouring with sweat and bone tired, but she knew if she gave up now her friends would never be safe again. She had

to keep on going, until she knew they'd be safe forever! There wouldn't be a fourth time for him. She wouldn't allow there to be!

The Master had become bored with the fight. He grabbed Buffy by the nape of her neck and hurled her with deadly force towards the wall. She hit hard and slunk to the floor. He smiled at her friends and

fled to safety through the stacks.

They ran over to her, not caring what happened to the Master. Giles checked her pulse. "She's alive. How I don't know, but she is alive" he muttered.

"She's bleeding, I can smell it" Angel commented.

The Watcher touched the back of Buffy's head and discovered Angel was right. His hand came away covered in blood.

"I'll follow him" the vampire muttered and disappeared. He didn't want to go, but he was the only person able to keep up with the vampire now Buffy was hurt. They had to know where he went, or they'd never find him again.

Willow went into the office to call an ambulance. Giles stayed with Buffy until the paramedics arrived. He made up a lie about her being hurt trying to see off an intruder stealing valuable books. They believed him. Sunnydale residents were so stupid, they'd believe anything. After vampire's being gangs taking PCP, this was nothing!

All three followed, as she was carried to the ambulance. There was only room for one to go with her though. "You better go Giles, you are responsible for her" Willow said, "We have to go home before our parents get worried!"

He nodded. As they walked away he called after them, "Are you armed?" Willow waved a stake at Giles and dragged Xander away.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 19

When Buffy woke up in hospital a little while later, she saw a strange man standing over her. Asking hundreds of questions about how she felt and assuring her that someone called Angel had gone after the Master and everything would be all right now. She paniced, trying to get out of bed and away from this strange person. The Doctor asked the man to leave and then examined her.

Outside the man paced for what felt like a lifetime waiting for the Doctor to finish.

"Mr. Giles?" the Doctor asked as he came out of the room.

"Yes?" the man asked.

"Next of kin?" he asked.

"I am a friend of the family. Responsible for Buffy while her mother is away with a sick relative," Giles explained.

"I'm Doctor Charman. Miss Summers is suffering from a sever concussion. She needs to be kept in over night for observation." he said.

"And?" Giles asked, sensing he was hiding something.

"There is the matter of memory impairment resulting from lesions forming in her Limbic System. More commonly known as Amnesia. Miss Summer has lost over 90% of her long and short term memory. With time most of these should be recoverable, but it could be a long and hard task to do so," he said.

"Buffy must be so frightened" Giles muttered, "How much memory does she have left?"

"Her name, age and the fact she goes to Sunnydale High, and a love of books. Nothing else, not even friends names!" Dr. Charman answered.

7

"Can I see her?" Giles asked.

"No until the morning" the Doctor insisted.

"That girl is in my care and I have a right to see her" Giles insisted.

"Miss Summers was distressed when she woke, I had to sedate her. Rest is what she needs rights now. When she is stronger, maybe as soon as the morning I will discharge her into your care. Familiar

surroundings will do her more good then here. Until then I suggest you go home and rest. There is nothing you can do here. Miss Summers will need you at peek ability tomorrow."

Giles decided to take the advice. Suddenly he felt very old and very tired. He could hardly stop himself from yawning.

As he walked through the hospital towards the car park he thought about the happenings of the last few weeks. They had been hard on all of them. Himself even more so, up most of the nights worrying

about Buffy and researching. While all along feeling guilty about allowing her to be taken from him.

Even more worrying when Buffy disappeared for days without any contact. Helping in the final castings that completed her cure. Trying to stop her from killing him. Giles decided he must be getting old. He used to be able to pull off far more complex and powerful castings without feeling anywhere near this terrible!

As Giles came out of the hospital building he wondered how he was going to get home. It was too late for the last bus and his car was miles away, at the school. Taxi's in Sunnydale stopped running early, no one liked to be out after the sun had set. Yet, they were still willing to ignore everything that happened in the city's limits. Sometimes Giles was infuriated with Americans and this was one of those times!

"Watcher?" a girl's soft voice called from the shadows thrown by the tall, dark trees.

"Kerry, what are you doing here?" he asked coming closer.

"Stop, please. I'm too weak to change my appearance" she begged.

He obeyed, "Why are you here?"

"I came to check on the Slayer and you. A pity she is hurt in such a dangerous way. I hope we will have enough time before the awakening to help her regain full memory!" Kerry muttered, "Anyway take these," she said tossing a set of car keys at him.

"There is always enough time!" Giles answered confidently as he bent to pick up the keys. Wishing he truly felt as certain as he sounded.

"Liar!" she whispered, "My car is metallic green. Second row, fourth in from the cherry tree. Try not to scratch the paint, it's brand new!"

"Thank you," he whispered.

"No, thank you Watcher. Because of you Buffy and the world is safe for a little longer."

"It is far too late for your riddles. Come back tomorrow." he muttered.

Kerry laughed, a soft tinkling sound. "Angel tells me the same thing! Good night Watcher, 'til fate crosses our paths once more."

"Good night," Giles answered watching her dark silhouette disappear.

When he reached the car Angel was waiting for him. "Hello Watcher. I was coming to check on Buffy when Kerry found me. Asked if I'd drive you home. She believes you will fall asleep at the wheel and crash. Neither her nor Buffy would forgive me if I allowed that to happen." he said.

"In the state Buffy is in she will not remember your name, yet alone blame you for anything. Amnesia!" Giles answered.

Angel nodded, "Kerry told me. We'll find a way to help her. We always do!" as Giles climbed in the passenger seat of the extremely spacious car. He dozed while they drove home. It had been an extremely long day and night for everyone involved. When they reached the flat, Angel had to half carry Giles to his door, not being able to wake him. He felt around in the Watcher's pockets and found the door key. Turned it in the lock and roused Giles enough to ask permission to enter.

"Yes" the Watcher muttered, still mostly asleep.

He dumped Giles on the bed and left silently. He took Kerry's car and headed towards his own flat. She'd been spending most of her time there with her Watcher's papers and prophecies. He wanted to ask what would happen next, but he doubted if he'd understand the girl's riddles!

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	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 20

Hours later the phone ringing woke Mr. Giles. He felt around for the receiver and still half asleep pressed it to his ear. "Hello?" he asked.

"Mr. Giles? We spoke last night, I'm Dr. Charman. Miss Summers has been discharged and is waiting for you to pick her up."

Giles picked up his clock and stared at the time. Surprised to find it said 2:30 p.m. "I will be as quick as I can," he promised. Afterwards he rang Willow and Xander and filled them in about Buffy's illness.

As he put the phone down Giles noticed a crumbled note next to his house keys. He carefully unfolded the paper and smoothed out the worst of the creases.

_I know where the Master has gone. Kerry and I will watch his actions while you help Buffy. Please keep me informed and let me know if I can help in anyway. You have my phone number and know where to find me. A._

Giles tucked the note away in a draw and quickly dressed.

Soon afterwards he reached the hospital. He found his Slayer waiting in her room. "Morning Buffy. Nice to see you up and about so soon." he said cheerily.

She looked nervous, "The Doctor said I heal quickly. Are you the Librarian he told me about?".

"My name is Mr. Giles" he answered.

"Lets go then" she said breezing passed him.

Giles has surprised to get such a cold shoulder treatment from his friend. Dr. Charman came up behind him. "Miss Summers is very scared and trying not to show it. Her answer to the problem is to ignore

and hope it goes away. I don't envy your job just getting through to her." he said.

"I will find a way!" Giles insisted.

"Anything could trigger her memory: a picture, a smell, even a word. Try everything you can think of." the Doctor advised.

He nodded and followed Buffy. She was already outside, looking around paniced. Trying to understand where she was. "Poor Buffy" he muttered. Giles gently took her arm and lead her to his car. She climbed in the passenger side and ignored all his attempts at small talk.

After a few minutes he gave up. "If you do not want to talk to me fine, just tell me where you want to go." Giles asked.

"1630 Robello Drive, home" she answered without thinking.

"How do you know were you live?" he asked confused.

Buffy looked at him a look of pure terror on her face, one he never wanted to see again. "I don't know. I've never heard of Robello Drive!" she muttered.

"It is your home," he said gently, "There is no need to be afraid. I will help you anyway I can".

"Mr. Giles, please just take me home. They pumped me full of all kinds of drugs last night. I just want to go to bed and sleep." she asked.

Giles nodded and started the car. Buffy stared out the window for the entire journey trying to find something she recognised. He was worried about her still. Very skin was very pale and she looked tired.

He supposed the rest would do her good, as long as the Master didn't try and visit. He had no way of knowing if she'd invited the monster into her house. He also hoped there would be weeks before the Master gathered his troops together before attacking. He needed several weeks to make Buffy better and then train her again.

Kerry had said she would need weapons training from him and magic from her. That would take a long time and before that could start he had to get the memories back. "This is not going to be easy!" he

muttered.

"Is it ever?" Buffy commented.

Giles pulled up the car and stared at her. Was she faking? Did she remember more than she seemed to? There was no way of knowing. "Here you are, home sweet home." he said.

Buffy got out the car and looked around. She looked worried. Giles touched her shoulder, "How do you feel?" he asked.

She shrugged off his touch, "I'm fine!" she snapped. Then a beat later she asked, "Which house is mine?"

Giles pointed, "1630".

"Thank you" Buffy answered with genuine feeling. She walked off towards her house, but was stopped after a couple of steps by having her arm grabbed.

"Call me first thing in the morning. I can drive you around or anything you want to help your memories. Here is my number." he said shoving a piece of paper into her hand.

"I will, thank you Mr. Giles" she said walking up the steps.

As she got to the door he called "Everything will be all right, Buffy I promise. I will do anything to help you!".

She turned and smiled at her Watcher. "I know you will. I'm not sure how, but I do. Goodbye Mr. Giles."

Goodbye Buffy," he answered as she shut the door.

She watched Mr. Giles through the window as he very reluctantly drove away. She wondered who he was. Hopefully not just a weird older man. He had to be at least 40, how did a young girl like her know someone that old she wondered.

Buffy felt very tired. The shots she'd been given were very strong. Not very surprising though with what she'd been up to. She was scared and confused, so it hadn't really been her fault.

As she walked up the stairs to find her room in Zombie Mode she absent-mindedly wondered what types of self defence she knew and how good she was. She had definitely kicked some butt at that hospital!

Buffy found a slightly messy room that looked like it could belong to a teenager. Full of wardrobes and piles of clothes everywhere. She drew the curtains tightly closed and half walked, half fell into

bed.

Her alarm rang at 9 am the next morning, she'd slept right through. The first thing Buffy saw was the piece of paper with that weird Librarian's number on. She decided not to call him, she wanted some time to think things through alone.

Also she didn't think she could cope with him fussing around her like a mother hen, he always did when she was hurt. That thought confused her. "Mr. Giles works at the school library. Why would he fuss around me a lot?" she asked out loud.

Buffy walked over to her vast wardrobes and took out the first outfit she saw. A baby blue coloured short, pleated skirt with a cropped white tee-shirt.

She quickly dressed and wandered over to her dressing table, wondering how she normally did her hair. She searched through a drawer of hair things. "There must be a million different kinds!" she exclaimed,

"Which would I wear normally?". She settled on a blue claw style head band. Something quick!

Afterwards Buffy investigated her jewellery boxes. There were plenty of things in there. Including a surprising amount of crosses. Figured she must be really Religious. She pulled out a few of the necklaces, at the back of her mind was a nagging feeling that one was missing, but she had no idea which.

Buffy ran her fingers over the earring drawers. She stopped when they touched a pair of cross earrings dangling in a small hoop. Somehow they just felt right. She put them on and checked in the mirror if

they were straight. "Nice to have a reflection again!" she muttered to herself.

"What does that mean?" she exclaimed frustrated.

Still annoyed she stormed downstairs and through the Kitchen. Didn't fancy any breakfast, so she collected the mail. Sitting on the kitchen table she sorted it. Most of it was for a 'Joyce Summers', which she assumed was her mother. Three were addressed to Buffy. Two were just junk which she threw straight in the bin. The third was a real letter. Strangely it had no stamp and just Buffy scribbled on the front. Intrigued she opened it and read the contents:

_Buffy, I am sorry about what happened to you, although you were lucky to escape with your life. It was stupid of you to try and fight when you were still so weak. Trust Giles and your friends. They only want to help you. I wish I could see you, but Kerry and I have other matters to attend to._

_ Promise me you won't go out at night alone. Sunnydale is a dangerous place once the sun sets. Please be careful Buffy! From your close friend, Angel._

"Who is Angel and why is Sunnydale a dangerous place?" she wondered out loud. Everything she learned about herself, made Buffy even more confused! She shoved the letter in her pocket and went back up stairs. She figured going through her stuff might be a good place to start helping herself.

The first thing Buffy did was put the radio on loud. She wanted plenty of noise, so she wouldn't feel so alone. Having Amnesia really scared her. Not knowing anything about herself or her friends or even if she had any! There were so many questions she need to answer, but no idea how to.

She decided to start with her wardrobe and went through all the clothes. The only thing she half remembered was a leather jacket. She could see a tall, gorgeous man half hidden in shadows giving her the coat. She didn't know who he was, where it was or why she had it though!

Buffy found a large box hidden at the back of the wardrobe. Dragged it out and studied the contents. It was only full of lots of bottles of make up and face creams. Normal teenage items.

As she started to return the items to the box she noticed the it wasn't as deep as it should be. A few minutes of prodding revealed the bottom lifted out. Under the draw she found bottles of clear liquid

marked Holy Water, stakes and several different size crosses. "Weird!" she muttered.

It took a while to tidy the room after all the searching. The only other weird thing she found were several thick books on vampires with extremely long and completcated words. They'd been wrapped up in a pile of winter jumpers.

It was lunchtime when Buffy came back downstairs. The phone rang and she rushed to answer it.

"Hi Buffy, its Willow. Giles told me what happened, so I guess you don't remember me." a girl gushed on the other end of the line.

"Mr. Giles told you the truth. Right now I don't remember much of anything." Buffy answered.

"That must be scary!" Willow exclaimed.

"It really is. Not knowing who you are or anything about your life!" she admitted.

"Do you want to hit the Bronze tonight? Well meet you there at 8 p.m, unless you have patrol duties?" Willow offered.

"Patrol?" Buffy asked, "I don't think so. See you at eight then."

"Okay!" Willow said putting the phone down.

She stared at the receiver, realising that she had no idea where the Bronze was or what Willow looked like. The phone rang again while she was thinking.

"What did you forget Will?" she asked picking it up.

An embarrassed male voice answered, "I'm not her. Wacky Xander, class clown, remember?"

"Oh hi." she said distractedly wondering who this person was.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Okay, I guess," she said.

"Great, see you at the Bronze tonight!" he said.

"Yeah, see you tonight." she answered, dropping the phone back down when she realised Xander had.

"Who the hell are you?" Buffy muttered. She bent down and pulled out the plug. She was sick of talking to strangers, even if they knew her. Buffy wandered around the house trying to find something, anything she knew! Nothing clicked. Even searched through photo albums.

She found one which looked fairly resent. It showed her with a teenage girl and boy. Mr. Giles was in the back ground looking impatient and tapping his watch.

She pulled the photo out and looked at it closely. Turning it over she discovered writing on the back. Me with Willow, Xander and a very annoyed Giles. Sub title: Dawdling with my friends to try and cut

weapons practise!

"Weapon's practise?" Buffy muttered, "Who am I? Xena Warrior Princess?"

Looking at the photo again she muttered "At least I know what you all look like now!"

She thought about calling Mr. Giles, but decided that she needed to talk to him in person. "He is always in the library researching is wacky things this time of day!" she said.

"Where did that come from? I hardly know him," Buffy muttered getting frustrated. Even with her swiss cheesed memory. She could hear Dr. Charman saying how it would take time, but it didn't help. She wanted all her memories back now! She was frightened, and desperately wished that her mother was home to try and make sense of things with her. She went up to her room to change clothes, knowing she'd have to go from the Library straight to the Bronze. Otherwise she'd be late.

Quickly Buffy swopped her short skirt for a pair of peach trousers, shook her hair out of the claw and brushed it. Deciding to leave it loose. Picked up her purse and jacket and looked round to see if she'd

forgotten anything she needed.

There, the door key on her dressing table. That would be useful!

Outside the house Buffy waited for a few moments before picking a way to go. Not sure if it really was the right way she left, shivering slightly in the cool night air.

The words from Angel's letter came back to her: _Promise me you won't go out alone at night. Sunnydale is a dangerous place to be after the sun sets. Please be careful!_

Sunnydale was very spooky in the dark and his words freaked Buffy completely. Before deciding it was nonsense. If it was dangerous she'd know. Wouldn't she?


End file.
